Help Wanted, Desperately [Paperback]

Ariel Horn (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 21, 2004

Seven months, three weeks, two days -- that's exactly how long Alexa has to establish herself in an exciting career. At twenty-one, she's determined to gallop into "the Real World with a Real Job, a Real Life, and a Real Future." Moving in with her parents and commuting from New Jersey into Manhattan is not an option -- and if she fails to find serious employment before the time runs out, it's off to teach English on the Third World island of Majuro for $100 a month!

But what jobs are available for an inexperienced young woman in the Big City? Writing headlines about yeast infections for Trend magazine? Sniffing deodorants for a living? Earthworm breeder? Phone sex operator?

The Real World, apparently, is not such a welcoming place. With employment opportunities growing increasingly fewer and more bizarre daily, should Alexa consider seeking some stability by moving in with her boyfriend Jared? Between her participation in a clinical sleep study for cash and her desperate attempts to become the voice of a cartoon cat in a last ditch effort to gain "respectful employment," Alexa hardly knows anymore. Maybe what she's really looking for is in the last place she ever thought she'd find it ...

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Alexa Hoffman, the 21-year-old University of Pennsylvania senior at the center of Ariel Horn's debut novel, has got exactly seven months, three weeks and two days before her initiation into the real world. Determined to secure a job in New York City, she embarks on a life-altering journey from one bizarre interview to the next. As a last resort and to avoid moving back in with her parents, she signs up to become an English teacher on the Third World island of Majuro while continuing her search for a job that will prevent her from actually having to go there. Over the course of this witty and wise coming-of-age novel, Alexa interviews for every imaginable position—earthworm breeder, deodorant sniffer, phone sex operator—evoking all the expectations and anxiety of the modern-day career search. Each chapter ends with a list of "Lessons Learned" comprising such hard-learned aphorisms as "Never assume your mother believes in something you plan on doing simply because she doesn't say otherwise" and "Do not—under any circumstances—interview for Internet jobs listed as 'other' ever again." Blithe and fresh-voiced, this book covers almost every tribulation of entering adulthood, forging a career and falling in love, against the odds.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From Booklist

Alexa Hoffman is a senior English major at the University of Pennsylvania who fears she will be the only person in the world to remain unemployed after graduation. Readers may find it hyperbolic that Alex is certain that not having a job seven months before graduation signals her doom, but there is obviously a kernel of truth in Horn's tales of the job-hunting neuroses of college seniors. Horn (whose initials are the same as those of her protagonist) is also a Penn graduate and uses her own job-interviewing experiences for comic effect. From phone-sex operator to earthworm breeder to deodorant sniffer, Alex racks up rejections, but they ultimately serve to crystallize her vision of what she really wants to do with her life. Soon-to-be and recent graduates will certainly relate to Alex's travails and enjoy the over-the-top humor. Beth Leistensnider
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

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Product Details

• Paperback: 342 pages
• Publisher: William Morrow Paperbacks (September 21, 2004)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0060589582
• ISBN-13: 978-0060589585
• Product Dimensions: 7.9 x 5.3 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.9 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (14 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,368,989 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

5 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Cute, Fun and Well Written, October 5, 2004

By 

Rian Montgomery "Rian Montgomery" (Tulsa, Oklahoma, USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Help Wanted, Desperately (Paperback)

Have you ever been on a bad job interview? Well if so, you are in good company - we all have! Including Alexa, the charming, slightly naïve but always entertaining heroine of "Help Wanted, Desperately" by Ariel Horn. Alexa is in her last year of college and doesn't know what she is going to do next, but she knows she needs to find a job in the big city. The only other option is a teaching job overseas in Majuro, which is thousands of miles away from her boyfriend Jared.

Thus begins her mostly unsuccessful and insane string of interviews. She goes through a job interview where she is told she should get plastic surgery; a test run as a model scout; an hour long personality placement test, and much, much more. There are a few job offers, such as being a phone sex operator or writing headlines about yeast infections. But is that what she wants? (Gee, I wonder...) With the prospects getting more insane and sparse by the day, will Alexa ever find a job in the city or will she be shipped overseas to do the teaching gig? Find out in by picking yourself up a copy of this book!

I enjoyed reading about Alexa's adventures in this book. The It is well written, funny, intriguing and not without a few puns. (One particularly bad one, I have to say!) Ariel Horn definitely knows how to keep the reader laughing though. Many readers will also be able to identify with Alexa's misadventures in the job industry, as well as sigh with relief that they haven't gone through such things.

Overall I recommend this book to anyone who has ever tried to find a job. Cute, fun, hilarious at times and entertaining - it's sure to delight most chick lit fans!

5 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Countdown to Graduation!!, March 22, 2005

By 

A. Lively "self proclaimed girly girl" (usa) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Help Wanted, Desperately (Paperback)

Help Wanted Desperately is just what I needed after a mad, crazy week at work filled with deadlines and long hours.

Alexa Hoffman is counting the days until she graduates college with her English major and is off to volunteer teach on the island of Majuro. She has always dreamed of living/working in the Big Apple and is desperate to find any job to avoid having to leave the country to teach. It doesn't help that her boyfriend of two years, Jared, is also finishing school and has a job hooked up with Christie's after graduation.

Alexa knows that she wants her job to be challenging and worthwhile while supporting a NYC lifestyle, but has NO idea what she wants to do. Let the job hunt and resume sending begin. She interviews for jobs at a retail magazine, buyer for a department store, model scout, a poet, earthworm breeder, consultant, auditions for Rent and public relations. There's many more, but you get the idea.

Help Wanted Desperatley is a hillarious tale of one woman trying to find her place in this world - whatever that may be. Each chapter is broken down to the months/days/hours and minutes until she leaves to volunteer in Majuro and the craziness that Alexa struggles with every day in trying to "find herself".

4 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars hysterial and realistic, April 26, 2005

By 

Another Chick-Lit Fan (St. Louis) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Help Wanted, Desperately (Paperback)

This book was SO funny!! Alexa is at times ridiculous and absurd-which is what makes her such a realistic and believable character (which almost NEVER happens in chick lit!). Sometimes (more often than not, actually) she does the wrong thing. But you know what? So do I. Everybody does, basically. And I loved that she was unafraid to be who she was: flawed, imperfect, funny, paranoid, silly, neurotic. Great read-- funny and entertaining throughout.