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How to Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair: A Compact Manual for the Unfaithful Paperback – November 24, 2010


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Frequently Bought Together

How to Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair: A Compact Manual for the Unfaithful + Not "Just Friends": Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity + After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful, 2nd Edition
Price for all three: $31.31

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 98 pages
  • Publisher: CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform (November 24, 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 145055332X
  • ISBN-13: 978-1450553322
  • Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.5 x 0.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 5 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (138 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #11,776 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review

"I regularly provide copies of Linda's book to my clients who are facing this challenge. Unanimously they report, 'That [book] was very helpful.' "
-Earl D. Wilson, PhD., author Steering Clear, & Restoring the Fallen

"This is the most succinct collection of wisdom for helping the unfaithful that I have seen for couples trying to pick up the pieces of their lives after affairs."
-Lance Brown, M.A., Minister of Care, Chapel Hill Presbyterian

From the Inside Flap

"Shortly after my wife and family found out about my year-long affair, Linda's book, How to Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair, came to me like a lifeline at the most confusing and shocking time of my life. I wanted nothing more than to save my marriage, and there had been very little information directed toward me to help me do my part. I found that the book, surprisingly, answered all of the questions that I had. I read it daily for weeks and followed it with full trust and blind faith. 

 "Some of the steps were incredibly difficult to go through, but every time they proved effective. All I can say now is that the path that the book put me on was God's path for me and the healing of my spouse. I am forever grateful for the insight that it has given me to climb out of the darkest days of my life into the greatest time of our marriage."
--Greg (former client, name changed to protect his privacy)

More About the Author

Linda J. MacDonald, MS, LMFT is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist with over 25 years' experience specializing in helping couples and individuals heal from infidelity. She graduated from Seattle Pacific University in 1988 with a Masters degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. She has been in private practice since 1987 and currently works at The Shepherd's Center in the Pacific Northwest.

She felt compelled to write "How to Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair" due to the lack of material that offered practical steps for unfaithful spouses who want to salvage their marriages after an affair. Her goal was not to write a comprehensive book on affairs, marriage enrichment, sex addiction or other topics. Her hope was to reach betraying spouses who want specific guidance on how to take care of "their side of the fence" and become healing persons to their traumatized spouses.

Along with her love of counseling, Linda is a workshop leader, freelance writer, and author of the widely used one-act play, Broken Heart, with estimated audiences of over 3 million world wide. She has conducted workshops on a variety of topics, such as: Healing the Trauma from the Drama, Healthy Dating, Healing the Root of Bitterness, The Healing Power of Apology, Conflict Resolution, Healing Abandonment Grief, and Recovering from Intimate Betrayal.

Linda is married to Dan MacDonald who is the pastor of Dupont Community Presbyterian Church. They have four adult children between them and enjoy such activities as hiking, kayaking, camping, reading, and long walks. They also enjoy doing volunteer work with Celebrate Recovery, teaching opportunities, marriage education, and retreats.

Check out Linda's website for free articles and other publications.
http://www.lindajmacdonald.com

Customer Reviews

Easy read and very practical.
Giselle
I suggest having the one who was betrayed read it first and highlight and/or make notes in the book and THEN the betrayer read it.
Amazon Customer
This is a guide to help those that have been betrayed by their spouse.
Mspleasemyself

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

59 of 63 people found the following review helpful By Curt on March 21, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Linda MacDonald understands what is required from the betrayer if they want to restore their marriage, like no other counselor I am aware of. She spells out in consise terms what must be done, each point made is valid and cannot be ignored. As the betrayed spouse, I began to wonder if it was me, expecting more from my wife than what is reasonable in order to have a restored marriage, more than ten years after D-Day. After reading this book, my feelings have been validated. A year prior to reading this book, I had told her some of what I needed, needs that are noted in the book. She told me it was too hard for her to do that. As a result, we have not made the progress that is desired. I now know any further progress will require my acceptance of un-met needs.
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42 of 44 people found the following review helpful By D. S. Tolbert on July 25, 2012
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I found out 2.5 weeks ago that my husband of 11 years cheated on me on 2 occasions with 1 woman. The news of the affair (7 years and 5 years old at the time of his revelation) hit me like a ton of bricks. We decided to try to stay together and embark upon a new marriage. However my emotional highs and lows over the issue were becomming a huge stresser in and of itself. The questions I had running through my mind, wondering if we were on the right track to saving our relationship, the doubts, wanting to talk to him about how I was feeling over what he'd done but not knowing how or being always able to put it into words, the anguish... Until I found this book.

This book is primarily meant for the cheating spouse who wants to try to salvage their marriage. In the early days there are lots of things that need to be done, and then there's a lot that needs to be done over the long haul. This book can help the cheating spouse see what steps they are going to need to make and the things they will have to do and sacrifice if they want any real hope of saving their marriage and salvaging the spouse they have shamed and ruined.

This is book isn't bad for the wounded spouse. It will let you know that the crazy feelings and thoughts you have apparently are quite normal. If you read it WITH your adulterous spouse it can serve as the platform for you to discuss with your spouse what you are going through and/or allow you to point out or highlight things that you have been wondering or feeling but just didn't know how to say or express.

This book has greatly bolstered my hope that my husband and I can work through this. He did so many of the "right" things from the get go without even having knowledge of the book that I know we're on the right track.
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37 of 40 people found the following review helpful By All Booked Up on April 11, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Ms. MacDonald has given couples struggling with recovering from infidelity a wonderful roadmap. I recommend this book for both wayward spouses and betrayed spouses. Too many counselors fail to grasp the devastation caused by infidelity. Their advice is to push the betrayal under the rug, don't ask questions, and pretend it never happened. Or worse, they place the blame on the betrayed spouse. Ms. MacDonald takes a more realistic and authentic approach to recovery.

For those struggling with how to help their spouses heal, this will be a wrenching journey but one worth taking. For those who were betrayed, it will affirm that your expectations and needs are valid. It will help you give voice to your struggle.
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42 of 48 people found the following review helpful By Dee52 on October 9, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Sometimes I have to wonder about folks who post extremely negative reviews. I am a counselor and bought this to give to a client and it is excellent. When people are hurting they don't want a thousand page textbook. This is as described: a practical self-help manual; and I found it to be very readable, concise and right on the money. I'm glad to have found something like this to share with clients who are suffering.
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23 of 25 people found the following review helpful By CJ on January 14, 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I am not good about giving reviews, but in the case w/ this book I feel it's essencial!
When I found the title of this book on Amazon my husband and I were 6 months post his final confession. I had endured 11 months of the trickle effect....the last lie coming out before a lie detector test. After his test he was euphoric, he felt clean and renewed. He didn't understand why I couldn't move forward w/ him? Why my pain was still so great? This book was ME! It was every e-mail i'd sent him, every letter i had writen, every journal entry. I underlined nearly every paragraph of this book and handed it to him. He read it...and then he SAW me! Finally! He got it and understood the depth of my pain and then began the process of renewal. I cannot say enough about this short manual. If you have had infidelity in your marriage, you must read this! Thank you Linda Macdonald!
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15 of 16 people found the following review helpful By E on April 26, 2012
Format: Paperback
This book is an excellent resource for both the betrayer and the betrayed. The betrayer, coming out of their post-affair "romance" and "fantasy world, needs a bit of shock treatment to realize just what a mess they've created. They've destroyed lives and families by their selfish and inappropriate actions. Some betrayers may take exception to the content of the book, they're the ones who stubbornly and selfishly don't want to own up to their actions; completely. For those truly repentant spouse's that realize the mess that they've made - and own it, for them this book is an incredibly useful tool. Both my wife and I have read it several times to help us through the mess that she created. It's helping, and that's good, because I want to stay married and have our marriage be better than ever. Best thing about the book is it doesn't place the betrayed/victim at fault in any way for the actions of the other/betrayer.
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