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How to Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair: A Compact Manual for the Unfaithful Paperback – November 24, 2010
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-Earl D. Wilson, PhD., author Steering Clear, & Restoring the Fallen
"This is the most succinct collection of wisdom for helping the unfaithful that I have seen for couples trying to pick up the pieces of their lives after affairs."
-Lance Brown, M.A., Minister of Care, Chapel Hill Presbyterian
From the Inside Flap
"Some of the steps were incredibly difficult to go through, but every time they proved effective. All I can say now is that the path that the book put me on was God's path for me and the healing of my spouse. I am forever grateful for the insight that it has given me to climb out of the darkest days of my life into the greatest time of our marriage."
--Greg (former client, name changed to protect his privacy)
More About the Author
She felt compelled to write "How to Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair" due to the lack of material that offered practical steps for unfaithful spouses who want to salvage their marriages after an affair. Her goal was not to write a comprehensive book on affairs, marriage enrichment, sex addiction or other topics. Her hope was to reach betraying spouses who want specific guidance on how to take care of "their side of the fence" and become healing persons to their traumatized spouses.
Along with her love of counseling, Linda is a workshop leader, freelance writer, and author of the widely used one-act play, Broken Heart, with estimated audiences of over 3 million world wide. She has conducted workshops on a variety of topics, such as: Healing the Trauma from the Drama, Healthy Dating, Healing the Root of Bitterness, The Healing Power of Apology, Conflict Resolution, Healing Abandonment Grief, and Recovering from Intimate Betrayal.
Linda is married to Dan MacDonald who is the pastor of Dupont Community Presbyterian Church. They have four adult children between them and enjoy such activities as hiking, kayaking, camping, reading, and long walks. They also enjoy doing volunteer work with Celebrate Recovery, teaching opportunities, marriage education, and retreats.
Check out Linda's website for free articles and other publications.
Top Customer Reviews
This book is primarily meant for the cheating spouse who wants to try to salvage their marriage. In the early days there are lots of things that need to be done, and then there's a lot that needs to be done over the long haul. This book can help the cheating spouse see what steps they are going to need to make and the things they will have to do and sacrifice if they want any real hope of saving their marriage and salvaging the spouse they have shamed and ruined.
This is book isn't bad for the wounded spouse. It will let you know that the crazy feelings and thoughts you have apparently are quite normal. If you read it WITH your adulterous spouse it can serve as the platform for you to discuss with your spouse what you are going through and/or allow you to point out or highlight things that you have been wondering or feeling but just didn't know how to say or express.
This book has greatly bolstered my hope that my husband and I can work through this. He did so many of the "right" things from the get go without even having knowledge of the book that I know we're on the right track.
Simply put, I asked him to buy it about three weeks after discovering his affair. He bought it. He read it. Cried over it. Tried to live by it.
The reason I think it helped was it helps the cheater see things from the betrayed spouse's perspective. This is crucial because the balance has been so off kilter during the months/years of the affair, with the cheater often thinking only about his or her own needs and feelings. If that person wants back into the marriage, it's essential that he or she come face to face with the impact of the affair on the spouse and do his or her best to fix the balance of power in the relationship.
It helped because my husband really took it to heart.
If you are reading this review, it's because your marriage has been wounded by an affair. Good luck. Be strong.
For those struggling with how to help their spouses heal, this will be a wrenching journey but one worth taking. For those who were betrayed, it will affirm that your expectations and needs are valid. It will help you give voice to your struggle.
When I found the title of this book on Amazon my husband and I were 6 months post his final confession. I had endured 11 months of the trickle effect....the last lie coming out before a lie detector test. After his test he was euphoric, he felt clean and renewed. He didn't understand why I couldn't move forward w/ him? Why my pain was still so great? This book was ME! It was every e-mail i'd sent him, every letter i had writen, every journal entry. I underlined nearly every paragraph of this book and handed it to him. He read it...and then he SAW me! Finally! He got it and understood the depth of my pain and then began the process of renewal. I cannot say enough about this short manual. If you have had infidelity in your marriage, you must read this! Thank you Linda Macdonald!
Most Recent Customer Reviews
I disagree with some of the books bigger points, such as that the person who had the affair is always 100% at fault. Read morePublished 1 day ago by monsterpixel
Great help for trouble in marital relationships. This book gives hope when perhaps a person might feel there is none when they have blown it but still love their spouse they... Read morePublished 2 days ago by ADC
Very good book. I've read it 2 months ago and since then started applying what's inside the book to my live. Read morePublished 5 days ago by Amazon Customer
I bought my cheating husband this book. Cheaters aren't interested in helping their spouse recover. Cheaters blame shift, gaslight, and give themselves entitlements that they don't... Read morePublished 10 days ago by Suzy in Ann Arbor
It's short and to the point. Also, visit Linda MacDonald's website. She has free articles and other helpful tips. Read morePublished 13 days ago by Annie J.G.
I think Linda McDonald really could help the betraying spouse get a better understanding of the hurt they caused. Read morePublished 21 days ago by Amazon Customer
A really good manual on how to conduct yourself after you have betrayed the person you are supposed to love the most.Published 24 days ago by Leslie Joseph Jr
It is what it says, a "compact guide". There are some good pieces of information, but it often gets repetitive to the point of being annoying. Read morePublished 1 month ago by Amazon Customer