Customer Reviews

Helping: How to Offer, Give, and Receive Help

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Being in a profession where I am employed to "Help" others, (Personal Trainer) it is easy to fall into the trap of just telling people what to do without really helping them. This book dissects our relationships with others, both professional and personal, in order to better understand how to approach them in a more productive way.

Having read Edgar Schein's "Organizational Culture and Leadership", I assumed that "Helping" would follow that influential and enduring work. So,it was with pleasure that I discovered that "Helping" resembles a fascinating conversation with this thoughtful and compassionate scholar.

For anyone who has been a "helper", this book lays out the dynamics of the giving and receiving aspects of relationships on different levels. At a time when courtesy in our society is becoming something of a lost art, I urge you to read Dr. Schein's latest contribution and share it with others.

Edgar H. Schein has compiled a helpful guide for those who have difficulty in mastering that somewhat tricky & misunderstood task of (a) giving help & (b) receiving help. Clearly, with personal egos that come into play, there are ways of engaging others in such a way to make the process go smoothly. Of course, so much of that is handled poorly, and good intentions are nullified; the end result is often total chaos.

Typically, people in business who receive "help" from someone who is potentially "career threatening" (aka the boss), may think there are hidden agendas that come into play, and wonder if that person is really trying to help; or set them up for a backstabbing attack. This is an unfortunate, but all too common scenario in many organizations. The key is being able to establish an environment of mutual trust and respect; that creates a common bond between all parties and the spirit of teamwork usually comes into play; the results are usually favorable.

Although the advice given in this book is somewhat pedestrian, it is based on good old-fashioned common sense; and there's not enough of that going on anywhere lately. This book certainly helps!

I am reviewing my own book to let future readers know that this is advice and analysis for the general audience because we are all in the position of offering and receiving help of all kinds all the time. Giving directions, helping kids with homework, getting advice from a friend, taking care of a loved one all have to be understood and managed to insure that the help will be helpful.

Almost all of us have encountered the confusing situation where we offer someone help, but our offer of help is refused. Edgar Schein has written a new book entitled "Helping: How to offer, give and receive help." The book analyzes the difference between effective and ineffective helping across a whole range of human situations. In simple language, Schein explains why it is that help is refused. For example, it could be due to communication problems or the status differentials that helping creates. Schein's points are illustrated with numerous examples.

Edgar Schein is widely known for his seminal academic work on organizational development and corporate culture. He is a Sloan Fellows Professor of Management Emeritus and senior lecturer at the MIT Sloan School of Management.

The book should be helpful to anyone interested in the psychology of change and helping others. Given how ingrained helping is in our daily lives, it can really be though of as guide to living. I highly recommend his book. It should be mandatory reading for every Graduate Psychology program.

I picked up Helping following the suggestion of a neighbor with the intent of gaining insight to better help my aging in-laws. I've come away from the read with more ideas and confidence in situations where I find myself providing assistance. In addition, I now realize how more effectively to request and receive help myself. This is a book I will be quick to reference to improve my helping skills when approaching particular situations in the future. Dr. Schein's insights can assist each of us to become more graceful and effective at this valuable social skill in whatever arena of life's experience you might find yourself (I'm a beef cattle rancher by livelihood; wife, mother and family manager by choice). Helping is easy to read and provides opportunity for improved helping endeavors allowing the reader to cultivate and maintain strong relationships in a most positive fashion. As Dr. Schein implies in his closing, good helping will improve life for us all.

This is a tour de force on the complexities of trying to be helpful. Schein brings his extensive experience and understanding of the helping process and applies it to all walks of life. It contains good theory and many practical examples. This is essential reading for anyone to who seeks to be helpful to another person, whether in a formal role or in informal settings. It is a must for health professionals (especially physicians, nurses,occupational therapists) , lawyers, those who work in front-line customer interface, those on complaint desks, teachers, instructors in all fields, action researchers, life partners, parents and friends.


Dr David Coghlan, Trinity College Dublin, Ireland Author of Doing Action Research in Your Own Organization.

Good help is helpful, but bad help is better off not there. "Helping: How to Offer, Give, and Receive Help" is a book exploring the psychology of help in the world of business. Good intentions are perfectly fine, but even the best intentions can fail be it because of incompetence, disorganization, or simply stubborn pride. Hoping to encourage people to embrace a more effective way to help others, author Edgar H. Schein lays out a fine manual that will do much for those who need and want to help.

Dr. Schein is one of the great names in organizational behavior. That said, why did he write a book on something as "obvious" as how to help people? It's because helping people is one of the trickiest things in the world to do right. You will agree with me if your attempts to help someone--or your failure to help--ever blew up in your face, or if you have tried to help people who really needed it and they turned a cold shoulder to you.

Dr. Schein analyzes the ego shifts that accompany needing help, asking for help, offering help, providing help, and so on. He explains the tenderness of the ego as it navigates through all of these shifting states.

He also introduced me to the notion of "social economics." For example: if I hold a door open for a stranger as we enter an office building I inwardly set an expectation of a thank you from the stranger. I think, "You owe me." It's dumb, but I see myself in that example. As the stakes get serious with co-workers, bosses, spouses, and friends it becomes increasingly important to be fluent with the social economics of the situation you are in.

This book has increased my sensitivity to the dynamics that surround the art of helping. I am also much more alert to recognizing the "state" of my relationships and to accounting for the social economics that are in play. I don't want to be unaware of a debt that someone has assigned to me, and I don't want to chalk up obligations that exist only in my own imagination.

This is a how-to book with wide applications, and I recommend it highly.

Dr. Schein's book, "Helping," is a practical, readable gem for anyone who interacts with others. Since reading it, I find myself reflecting on conversations every day, wondering if I might have been more helpful had I approached the situation from a different angle. The book has opened my mind!
Dr. Schein provides real life examples to illustrate different aspects of helping, as well as detailed processes for working through issues with others. His tips at the end of the book expertly summarize his points and leave the reader with manageable concepts that can be applied to every day life.