Customer Reviews

Helping Your Kids Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way

5 star:		(37)
4 star:		(5)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

This was the most comprehensive resource I found to help me understand what my children may be experiencing as a result of my divorce. It is full of both heart-wrenching and enlightening truths spoken by children of all ages. It's not a book for those who are in denial. It's for those parents who recognize that one of the major consequences of divorce is a life changing event for their children. If you want to know what you're children are really experiencing and want to help, this book is for you! Be warned, it will make you cry, feel pain for your children, and possibly resurrent feelings of guilt. But it will also give you insight and direct you in how to continue parenting effectively with love and guidance, with or without the cooperation of your ex-spouse.

In the state of Vermont, it is required by the Family Court law that divorcing parents attend a 6-hour long workshop on "co-parenting" and the effects of negative parent behavior on children. What a joke! I wish instead that the state of Vermont mandated that every divorcing parent read this resource. I learned so much more from Gary Neuman and the children and families he has worked with.

This thorough book covers every topic imaginable that is associated with divorce and family transition. The focus is from the child's perspective on matters such as validating your childrens feelings, protecting your children from conflict, separating adult issues from children's issues, custody and visitation, uncooperative parents and parent-bashing, child support and financial stress, relocating, dating, and most importantly, how children "feel" about all the ups and downs associated with this life changing event.

I highly recommend this book for every parent who is experiencing a family separation. I still pull it out periodically before I crawl into bed. It's a great "reality check" and helps keep things in perspective, still, two years after our family experienced this transition.

I have read a number of books for divorcing parents, and this is by far the best. The range of information given is enormous (460 pages!) and covers almost any situation you can imagine. This is the ONLY book I have seen that discusses how to help infants cope with divorce. Neuman's discussion of the needs of children has given me the motivation to avoid fighting with my ex, even when he makes extremely aggravating remarks. His suggestions have also helped me keep my son's father involved; in fact, he spends much more time with our son than he ever did when we were married. The example dialogues are very helpful, and reflect the diversity of real families. Neuman is careful to avoid stereotypes, for example he gives anecdotes about deadbeat moms as well as deadbeat dads.

I am a professional Christian Counselor. I work primarily with children and their parents. I use recommend this book for all divorced parents who wish to make things work between dad's house and mom's house. It also gives practical, easy helps for parents who do not know how to respond to their children's anger, questions and pain. I have found it very helpful and many of the families I work with have also.

I STRONGLY RECOMMEND READING THIS BOOK. AFTER HEARING GARY NEUMAN SPEAK AT A BOOK SIGNING, I PURCHASED THIS BOOK. THIS BOOK HAS GUIDED ME THROUGH THE PROCESS OF DIVORCE, TO MAKE SURE THAT MY CHILD CAME THROUGH THIS DIFFICULT TIME WIHTHOUT TOO MUCH PAIN. I HAVE REFERRED TO THIS BOOK PRIOR TO MY DIVORCE AND TO THE PRESENT, 4 MONTHS AFTER. GARY NEUMAN, WRITES IN A WONDERFUL, EASY TO UNDERSTAND MANNER FOR ALMOST EVERY SITUATION THAT WILL ARISE. BUY THIS BOOK, AND READ IT, SO YOUR KIDS AND YOU CAN HANDLE THIS DIVORCE THE SANDCASTLES WAY. IF GARY NEUMAN IS SPEAKING SOMEWHERE, GO HEAR HIM SPEAK. YOU WILL BE HAPPY YOU DID!!

As a child therapist I found this book to be very helpful. I recommend it to all my parents who are divorcing. It is in plain, straightforward language. This book can help the millions of parents who need some insight into what the reactions of children are when their parents divorce. The book discusses developmental, co-parenting, and a plethora of related issues. His style is compassionate, lighthearted, and genuine. A must read for parents who are divorcing and professionals who work with these parents.

As a mental health professional I am always a little skeptical about this kind of book - when people write based on their experience they sometimes forgo the need to check whether their experience is consistent with that of other people in other places by reviewing the research literature before writing their books. I was pleasantly surprised to find this book full of evidence based suggestions and information for separating/separated parents. It is an easy read, with information clearly presented so non-professionals will find it very helpful; and for those who have a scientific background and who are familiar with the psychological research in this field it will be clear that the book is based upon solid information. A very useful resource.

M. Gary Neuman is a truely gifted author. His insights and information found in the Sandcastles book helped my family through an extremely difficult time in our lives. The understanding that my ex-wife and I walked away with helped us set the pace and tone for a more healthy future for my family. Although we won't be a couple anymore, Gary helped me see that we will be a family on many levels. It was a gift in a time when life seems vcry difficult for all of us. I can't thank him enough and I even have bought copies for my parents, ex-inlaws and my siblings. It has certainly become one of the most important books I have ever read. I would love to hear him speak if he is ever in California. Please inform me. Thank you to M. Gary Neuman for his reserach and depth of understanding the ever changing families in our country. A book LONG OVERDUE!!!!!!

I am a retired elementary school guidance counselor, and have often recommended this book to parents who have come to me for advise in understanding how their children experience divorce and strategies for helping them cope with it. I have also used it as I developed small group activities for my "divorce groups". It is filled with invaluable information and includes many easy but effective activities for parents to do with their child to maintain communication during this difficult time. One of the most valuable features is information about how children adjust to the separation of their parents at different developmental levels. Sadly, I recently dug out my copy of the book and then ordered two copies, one for my son and one for my daughter-in-law, to use in helping my granddaughter cope with the end of their marriage. I wish everyone who is divorcing and has children would read this book and follow the advise contained therein. We'd have lots more kids surviving the break-up of their parents with their emotional health intact.

This book is a wonderful resource for divorcing/separating parents who want practical tools to monitor what affect it is having on their children. My son was very small when his father and I divorced, and as he grows I return to the book to use the recommendations to help him express any feelings he has, and not hold them inside.

This book was a God send during my tumultous divorce eight years ago. I recommend it to anyone dealing with children during a divorce. It teaches you what to do and say to young kids when your ex is bad mouthing you or sharing inappropriate behavior or information. It gives wonderful tips and tools about how to guide your children through what is an intensely challenging life change. Most of all, it helps a parent or step parent know what is appropriate and what isnt. It gives children a license to stand up for themselves and say "I am not comfortable discussing this, mom." I loved this book and recommend it to everyone I meet.