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Her Mother's Daughter: A Memoir of the Mother I Never Knew and of My Daughter, Courtney Love
 
 
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Her Mother's Daughter: A Memoir of the Mother I Never Knew and of My Daughter, Courtney Love [Hardcover]

Linda Carroll (Author)
3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (47 customer reviews)


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Book Description

January 17, 2006
The daughter of esteemed writer Paula Fox and the mother of Courtney Love relates “the curse of the first-born daughter” that has haunted four generations of her family.

As an adopted child, Linda Carroll created a magical world of her own, made up of dramatic adventures and the abiding fantasy that her real mother would come and take her away. When she finds herself pregnant at the age of eighteen, she is determined to have the perfect understanding with her child that she lacked with her adoptive mother. But readers will know better, for that baby grows up to be Courtney Love, desperately attention-seeking, deeply troubled, and one of the most talented women in rock.

Even as a baby, Courtney is beset by mood swings that no doctor can explain or cure. Her dark moods and paranoia escalate as she grows up, driving mother and daughter apart. When Courtney has a daughter of her own, Linda finally decides to find her own biological mother, and end the estrangement of generations of first-born daughters.

Her Mother’s Daughter is Linda Carroll’s story of self-discovery as an adopted daughter, a childlike hippie mother and a woman determined to find herself before finding her roots. Set apart from the typical celebrity memoir by Carroll’s gifted storytelling, Her Mother’s Daughter gives a fresh perspective on the elusive yet enduring connections between mothers and daughters, and reveals the true history of the wildly confabulatory Courtney Love.

LINDA CARROLL was adopted at birth, raised in San Francisco and only later discovered that her biological mother is the writer Paula Fox. Married at eighteen, and twice more before she was thirty, she is now the mother of five grown children, including singer/songwriter Courtney Love. She is a therapist and writer and lives in Corvallis, Oregon with her husband of seventeen years.

Advance Praise for Her Mother’s Daughter

“Even if you start reading Linda Carroll's memoir out of curiosity about her famous daughter and biological mother, you'll keep reading to find out more about Linda herself.  This is no celebrity potboiler, but a fascinating, beautifully written work of narrative nonfiction; Carroll unites the intimate perspective of a psychologist, the contextual sense of a historian, and the clarity of a fine biographer in one absorbing package.  One of her central themes is what she calls the "curse of the first-born daughter," and it does seem that a tendency to live fascinating but difficult lives runs in these women's veins.  But so, apparently, does the talent of drawing, holding, and rewarding our attention.  Bravo, Linda Carroll!”
 
—Martha Beck, author of Expecting Adam and Finding Your Own North Star
 

“There is a delicious fictional quality to this true-life story that I  found riveting. In Carroll's deft telling, the book is a kind of  resurrection of a family….  I think I loved Her Mother's Daughter most for the devotion that Linda Carroll has for her unusual family through decades of separations and unconventional journeys.”
 
--Terry Ryan, author of  The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio

 
“Looking backward and forward in time, this haunting memoir tells the story of a young woman’s journey to finding herself, her birth mother, and her daughter, Courtney Love. The candor and power of these pages illuminates the difficulties of all mother-daughter relationships, but offers a rare glimpse into that elemental relationship when it is shadowed by the temperamental features of early-onset bipolar disorder. Linda Carroll has grit and grace, and writes like her mother’s daughter.”
 
—Demitri F. Papolos, M.D. and Janice Papolos, authors of The Bipolar Child


Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Carroll, a writer and therapist, bore quite a cross in rearing her fiery, unstable daughter, the rock icon who sets this memoir in motion by trumpeting her pregnancy. Fearing a "curse of the firstborn daughter," Carroll is seized with the urge to seek her own biological mother and mend a tattered matrilineal line. She discloses her past with a sprawling account of Catholic schools, friendships, romances and pregnancies in 1960s San Francisco, in prose mired with detail but often wry and touching. Carroll's social-climbing adoptive parents seem at best ambivalent, at worst cruel. In 1993, after Courtney's rise to fame and stormy estrangement from Carroll, the author finds her biological mother: Paula Fox, the acclaimed children's author who became pregnant as an abandoned teen. The two are kindred spirits, and it's a heartwarming twist that the act of writing, on many levels, becomes Carroll's portal to her past. The promise of dish on Courtney and the emotional reunion with Paula—along with Carroll's tender wit and poignant honesty (Courtney's siblings saw her "as glamorous, but with sharp claws and teeth")—will keep readers soldiering through this often exhaustive history.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From Booklist

Despite the suggestive subtitle, Carroll's memoir is far less tell-all than it is her personal recollections of growing up feeling alienated from her adoptive family, her peers, and her religion. Born with an inquisitive mind, Linda has trouble relating to her tightly wound adoptive mother, Louella, and her sexually abusive adoptive father, Jack. While her friendships with other girls are deep and stable, her relationships with men prove to be much more complicated. Carroll finds herself pregnant at 18 by a man she does not love, but she marries him and gives birth to a girl, Courtney. The marriage does not last, and Carroll spends the next decade in search of happiness, marrying twice again and going as far as New Zealand as her relationship with Courtney deteriorates. Years later, when Courtney is pregnant with her own child, Carroll finally seeks her own birth mother and is surprised to discover she is renowned writer Paula Fox. A thoughtful memoir of one woman's coming-of-age in the turbulent 1960s and 1970s. Kristine Huntley
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 320 pages
  • Publisher: Doubleday (January 17, 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0385512473
  • ISBN-13: 978-0385512473
  • Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.9 x 1.3 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds
  • Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (47 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,294,335 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author


Linda Carroll was born in 1944 in San Francisco and adopted into an Italian Catholic family. Very early, she discovered poetry as a form of prayer and a window into an expanded life. In 1961, when Linda graduated from high school, San Francisco was already buzzing with counterculture music, arts, and style, and Linda found herself selling beads and going to peace marches. After finishing her bachelors' degree in Oregon in the seventies, she moved to New Zealand, where she raised children, sheep, and many dogs. She returned to Oregon in the eighties and received masters in counseling, and began practicing as a therapist. In the nineties, she and her veterinarian husband, Tim Barraud, began to teach a couples course based on the Imago work of Harville Hendrix, the PAIRS training of Dr. Laurie Gordon, and their own insights, study and practices. They continue to offer retreats and seminars all over the world. She is currently at work on a book project, Love's Four Journeys, based on this work.
Linda is a frequent presenter at the spectacular Rancho La Puerta in Tecate, Mexico, and a private consultant to couples and families outside of her home town.
As an adult, Linda found her birth mother, the novelist Paula Fox, and began to understand her deep-seated love of poetry anew. In 2006, her memoir, Her Mother's Daughter, was published by Doubleday. In 2008, Remember Who You Are was published by Conari Press in San Francisco She has five children, ten grandchildren, and lives in Corvallis, Oregon, with her husband, two Jack Russells and a Siamese cat, and continues her lifelong path of grand adventures and spiritual seeking.


 

Customer Reviews

47 Reviews
5 star:
 (27)
4 star:
 (6)
3 star:
 (3)
2 star:
 (4)
1 star:
 (7)
 
 
 
 
 
Average Customer Review
3.9 out of 5 stars (47 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

32 of 36 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars She never figured out how to parent Courtney..., May 2, 2006
This review is from: Her Mother's Daughter: A Memoir of the Mother I Never Knew and of My Daughter, Courtney Love (Hardcover)
I am just a little younger then Linda Carroll and lived though the same era. I could not stand women like Linda back then who kept having babies as if they appear by magic and had no clue that you need to put the child you already have their needs first before your own. One has a moral duty towards your child to be a careful and compassionate parent. Linda was not. She could have used birth control like the rest of us, her daughters life suffered and never worked to figure out how to parent Courtney. She was much too flippant a women getting pregnant every time she slept with a man. SHe wounded her first born very deeply by her actions.

Through her own words, she was a self-centered inadequate immature confused mother. Why she kept on having babies when she felt this way is beyond comprehension! Courtney does not need to write a book, her mother's book is proof why Courtney is estranged from her family. They did nothing but constantly reject her in childhood.

Linda claims her other children turned out healthy in spite of bad parenting decisions and a parade of men and fathers in their life. She did not abandon the rest of them emotionally as she did Courtney. Except when she gave away her adopted son she parented for three years! I almost fell out of my seat when reading this part.

Who listens to a child when they complain they do not want to move away, what poor judgment Linda constantly showed through out her mothering years. There was never one bit of empathy towards Courtney or acts of compassion or doing what was best for the kid, all her actions seemed to make her daughter more troubled and isolated. I was horrified to read she abandoned Courtney in the USA when she moved to New Zealand, then institutionalized her at 13 years old to never live with her daughter again.

It's a fascinating memoir becase it makes clear why Courtney is such a struggling confused and complicated troubled adult still riddled with problems. Her mother is a piece of work and acts blameless. Linda is too self-centered though-out Courtney's life to see she never found the time to understand the root of her daughter problems.

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18 of 19 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Absorbing memoir..., February 12, 2006
By 
M. Nichols (San Francisco, CA United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: Her Mother's Daughter: A Memoir of the Mother I Never Knew and of My Daughter, Courtney Love (Hardcover)
Although it starts slowly, Linda Carroll's "Her Mother's Daughter" emerges as a fascinating life story, full of sorrow and grace. Once I got into it I had great trouble putting it down. Her life is a rich one -- child of San Francisco priviledge turned hippie and mother of six, Carroll undergoes a staggering amount of personal loss while dealing with life's usual uncertainties.

The fact that Carroll is Courtney Love's mother is really only incidental to the story. The scenes between them are painful to read. I am only vaguely familiar with Love's side of the story, but she does not come off well. I sense this book is not the balm needed to bring mother and daughter back together. Readers will come away hoping they can resolve their problems before it's too late.

More inspiring is the reunion between Carroll and her birth mother, Paula Fox. This book has a happy ending of sorts, although we sense it isn't really the end of the story.

If you are a fan of "The Glass Castle" by Jeanette Walls you will probably like "Her Mother's Daughter" too. I know I did.
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16 of 17 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Compassionate, mature memoir, January 21, 2006
By 
Susan Beekman (Detroit, OR USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: Her Mother's Daughter: A Memoir of the Mother I Never Knew and of My Daughter, Courtney Love (Hardcover)
Her Mother's Daughter is compelling , riveting reading. Carroll explores her early life in a thoughtful and honest way, mellowed by a mature understanding. Her writing is fresh, both in wording and imagery.
I never had the sense that this even WAS a celebrity tell-all book because it's not so much about Courtney love as about the challenges her mother faced throughout her own earlylife as she struggled to find her own voice and place in the universe. She has clearly succeeded, based on the powerful and insightful voice telling the story. Other equally important characters (besides Love) are San Francisco of the fifties and early sixties, Paula Fox, and the many friends and characters who weave through the narrative with all the life force of the author herself. I highly recommend this page-turner
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