Her Way: Young Women Remake the Sexual Revolution [Hardcover]

Paula Kamen (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: November 1, 2000

Visit Paula Kamen's website at http://www.paulakamen.com

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Three decades after the Sexual Revolution, women's power and status have begun to match men's, and women are finally making the rules in order to experience a more radical and truer form of liberation.

Her Way demonstrates how and why 20- and 30-something women have evolved to act and think more like men sexually, while also creating their own distinct sexual patterns and appetites. Today's young women are now the leaders of an unreported but sweeping "Sexual Evolution," in which women take control of sex and redefine it from their perspective. In other words, do it "her way."

Paula Kamen characterizes this Sexual Evolution according to two major developments that are setting sexual patterns for future generations of women: young women's sexual profiles are now remarkably similar to those of men, in terms of age of first intercourse, and numbers of sex partners and casual encounters. They also feel less guilt or shame about their behavior, from premarital sex to having a child out of marriage to coming out of the closet to cohabiting.

Yet young women are not merely imitating men, but forging their own distinct sexual perspectives and asserting their own needs. In addition to discovering the pleasures of sex, young women are also exploring the dilemmas, challenging male-defined sexual scripts, and changing what actually goes on in bed.

Based on more than one hundred lively, unfiltered and in-depth interviews with women across the country, Her Way cuts through the sensationalism and speculation of popular discussions about young women and sex. Kamen reports the real story of today's enhanced sexual expectations and choices.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Watching Barbara Walters's interview with Monica Lewinsky was like being caught in a tractor beam of horrified prurience. It boggled the mind that the leader of the free world would risk so much for... well, you know. The interview was many things, including funny, and that was mainly due to the enormous chasm between interviewer and interviewee regarding the heart of the matter: sex. When Walters asked, "And there were things that were done that made you as a woman happy and content?" it took women under 40 a few moments before they realized to what Walters was so coyly referring. The women of Generation (Se)X don't talk to each other like that. Even in public. They are a lot more explicit.

In Her Way, journalist Paula Kamen traces what she calls a sexual evolution, a slow but profound change in how women relate to their sexualities. Thirtysomething Kamen uses surveys (some more scientific than others), scholarly and popular literature, pop entertainment, and her own open-ended interviews with a wide variety of women to paint a picture of younger women who are more confident about their sexual selves (be they virginal or promiscuous) and in negotiating what they want in bed and their love relationships.

In keeping with the book's sex-positive message, the emphasis is on women's agency and on further possibilities for broadly satisfying sexual and interpersonal relationships. There is little about, for example, sexual violence, including date rape. Kamen has distilled a wealth of research in an engaging and accessible form, and she does not shy away from a more subtle commentary that notes the persistence of a sexual double standard for men and women. She also points out that we are still operating on "basic male definitions of sex or sexual freedoms" and asks whether, perhaps, in the words of the bumper sticker, "Women who strive to be equal to men aren't ambitious enough." --J. Riches

From Publishers Weekly

With intelligence and flair, Gen-X feminist, journalist and playwright Kamen (Feminist Fatale) presents an exhaustive study of the sexual mores of the women in her generation. Based on 100 interviews and a wealth of statistics, Kamen persuasively argues that ever since the sexual revolution provided widespread access to birth control and information on topics ranging from masturbation to homosexuality, young women have been undergoing a slow, steady "sexual evolution." Today, she declares, college-age women's attitudes and behaviors closely resemble those of their male counterparts: on average they have almost as many partners as men and are less opposed to casual sex than previous generations. In Kamen's view, this trend indicates that Gen X women have achieved a high sexual comfort level. Consequently, while young women may have more sexual partners than they once did, virgins are also stepping proudly out of the closet, along with unmarried mothers, women who choose to remain single, lesbians and bisexuals. Their confidence has encouraged a new activism, as women insist on speaking out about once-taboo experiences, such as sexual harassment, molestation and rape. Kamen even goes so far as to suggest that President Clinton would have been in a better position if he had understood Monica's generational perspective on sex. (Jan.) Forecast: Critical yet nonjudgmental, Kamen's lively book is a welcome primer on contemporary sexual ethics. Bolstered by an author tour that will push her visibility beyond academic circles, it's sure to be a hit among feminists of all ages even while it raises eyebrows in other camps.
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 288 pages
• Publisher: NYU Press; First Edition edition (November 1, 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0814747337
• ISBN-13: 978-0814747339
• Product Dimensions: 9.2 x 6.3 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,261,749 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

5 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Wit and Fun Blended with a Base of Usefulness, April 12, 2002

By A Customer

This review is from: Her Way: Young Women Remake the Sexual Revolution (Paperback)

Intelligently and objectively--and with considerable wit and in a fun and playful manner-- presents the sexual choices women have and the positives and negatives of each. No choice is without its merits and adverse side effects; and these may change as the person grows older. In a nonsensationalistic way, the author covers many segments of our society and compares and contrasts the viewpoints and perspectives of each. She relates her own work with those of others, including those of noted scholars. Her mission is to educate and enable the reader to make choices customized for each individual. One size does NOT fit all.

5 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars an antidote to stereotypes, February 12, 2002

By 

Lisa Douglass (Chicago, IL USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Her Way: Young Women Remake the Sexual Revolution (Hardcover)

In "Her Way," Paula Kamen shows how women are rewriting the sexual script, both the traditional one and the one edited by their mothers in the sexual revolution. She assesses her interviews with a wide variety of young women in the context of a sexual culture that has become increasingly diverse. She finds that more women are making decisions about sexual activity based on their own needs, not those of any man or of sexual prescriptions from others. The women do not follow any single new script. Kamen finds, for example, that religion frames some women's choices about sex, while others set out to break away from the sexual rules they were taught as girls. She concludes, however, that while women have a greater say in their sex lives, they are not yet equal partners in a conversation about sex with men. Bisexual and lesbian women fare better, but they too must live in a sexual culture that caters to the heterosexual man.
Still, she is optimistic because the process of change is ongoing.
Kamen's fluid writing style is a pleasure to read. Anyone who is, knows, teaches, or parents a young woman should check "Her Way" out.

8 of 12 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Another Great Book by Paula Kamen, March 17, 2001

By 

Indienne - See all my reviews

This review is from: Her Way: Young Women Remake the Sexual Revolution (Hardcover)

I loved Paula Kamen's first book "Feminist Fatale," which probed the reluctance of young women to call themselves feminist, even though they supported feminist ideas and goals. "Her Way" is also extremely interesting. Kamen interviewed lots of young women and argues that they are rewriting many of the old sexist scripts -- at work, in relationships, in bed. She finds them assertive, independent and energetic, with high expectations for equality and intimacy, sexually frank and in control of their lives to an unprecedented extent. A well-written, optimistic portrait of a generation that doesn't usually get such good press!