Customer Reviews

Hercules Against the Moon Men

5 star:		(1)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(5)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

The Retromedia version offers an excellent anamorphic transfer. DVDs for many campy public-domain films look like they're taken from TV prints that have been dragged behind a truck, then run through VHS twice. Retromedia clearly had access to a clean 35mm print and made a modern digital transfer. It looks and sounds far better than expected for this kind of title--about what you'd get from a major studio with honest technicians and a good vault copy. Given the age of the film and the likely budget, we're probably seeing everything there is to see.

Of all of the Italian sword-and-sandals movies, this has perhaps the silliest premise--in fact, the whole notion of Hercules fighting "moon men" only appeared in the English-dubbed version (the Italian original is about "Maciste," a strongman character in Italian movies back to the 1914 *Cabiria*, and there was nothing about aliens from the moon). It is moderately entertaining, and very low budget, as was typical for these movies. I say moderately entertaining, but only if you like this sort of thing, i.e., cheesy genre movies--if you're looking for another *Casablanca*, this isn't it. Most of the sword and sandals DVDs have very low-quality transfers: they chop up the original widescreen movies with pan-and-scan, and often look like they are using a video camera pointed at a TV screen showing a very faded and scratched print to make the transfer. This particular movie, however, has the worst transfer I have seen yet: few colors besides blue have survived, and there is no sharpness in the image at all. I am checking out the "special edition" DVD of *Moon Men* from somethingweird.com (Something Weird Video), which specializes in this sort of thing--they promise widescreen at least, and a "digitally remastered" version.

I've looked at the Something Weird version, and it is incomparably better (well, the visual quality is, at any rate!)--this is the double feature entitled "Hercules Against the Moon Men/The Witch's Curse" (a mere $17.99 here at amazon.com).

I found this dvd in a used book store and picked it up just for the fun of it. The first thing that caught my eye was that the lead was named Alan Steel and it took about 1 second and a half to realize that was a name that was thrown on just for an American audience. So anyway, I didn't expect much, and in a way I was not disapointed for this is just not a very good movie. Why 4 stars then? Well, it was entertaining. Queen Samara was just awesome even if she wasn't very competent. The plot was kind of a mish mash of different things going on but in the end it boiled down to moon men helping Quenn Samara gain more power in exchange for her helping them bring the moon closer and arrange for her sister to help reanimate some other woman for a purpose I didn't get. Anyway once the plan falls apart and the Queen runs to her moon men bodies for help we discover what comes from an unholy alliance. And it's not that Samara didn't have a chance. I think if I broke my leg and had to carry an anvil I could move faster than the moonmen. Well, Hercules does eventually do battle with the moonmen and it's the mismatch of the century. This movie din't promise much but it was watchable, laughable and kind of fun. It's probably more fun if you have a few friends with you. We had a group of 8. That helped. You have to be in the right mood, but if you are, go for it. I'll stick by my 4 star rating.

This is one of the few Hercules movies where the title actually makes sense. There are moon men and Herc does fight them. It's in the last ten minutes of the movie and it's not very exciting or well staged, but at least it fulfills the title. Alan Steel is portraying our buff, intrepid hero this time out. Herc is called to a village where Queen Samara forces her people to sacrifice their children to appease the gods of the mountain which are the titular moon men. They're basically giant rocks come to life. There is a rebellion going on and Hercules tries to help by infiltrating the castle. The moon men tell Queen Samara to kill Herc. She tries and fails several times so changes tactics and uses her secret potion for Herc to fall in love with her. This device of a beautiful woman giving Hercules something to drink that gives her power over him is used in nearly every Hercules movie I've seen. The writers came up with moon men for Herc to fight but couldn't go without the standard drink gag. Hercules Against the Moon men is fairly dull. The title is the wildest thing about it. It's about 90 minutes of people standing around talking with one or two poorly contrived action sequences thrown in.

I bought this movie at a bookstore for 6 bucks. It was the best 6 bucks I ever spent. The dubbing is terrific and the set designs are top notch, as well as the fight scenes. If you like watching people get thrown into barrels, and awesome hand gestures, this is the movie for you.

A fire from the sky drops near by Samara. It deposits something evil. This evil horde demands human sacrifice. The queen of Samara (Jany Clair) is in cahoots with the evil ones in exchange for a chance to rule the world.

Only one man can save them by leading a revolt. Yep it is Hercules (Sergio Ciani.) I suspect the queen could smell Hercules and ordered a shower. Evidently it did not work so she will try to make Herc take a powder, and he would be mooning over her.

Looks like another full moon and time for a sacrifice when the sound is turned off it looks like they are all going to the showers. Will Herc help? If you look close Herc looks like Bob Vila of this old house fame, only a tad smellier.

O.K. one more time lets try sand blasting him.

Let my people go.


Muscle Madness

This film is actually a "Maciste" movie, but like most of the Italian films starring that character, the name was changed to one more marketable for distribution in the USA. In this film, Hercules must help the oppressed people of the kingdom of Samar overthrow their evil queen, who uses them as human sacrifices to her Moon Men masters (no, I'm not making this up, that really is the plot!). Treachery, mechanical traps, sword fights, funny monsters, actors in skimpy outfits and a convoluted scene of people struggling endlessly in a sandstorm are all hallmarks of this film. If you enjoy Italian sword and sandal pictures from the 1960's then you will love this stuff!

You may also be interested in seeing the MST3K version of this film. It is available in The Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection, Vol. 7, wherein this film gets the treatment it deserves. This is one of the funniest episodes of MST3K ever ("sandstorm!"). Comments like, "This movie is equipped with airbags." at the sight of a voluptuous woman in a low-cut dress will have you howling with laughter. "I hate movies where the men wear shorter skirts than the women." says Crow. "Sandstorm, saaannnndstoooorrrrmm..." say the Mad Scientists. The sheer goofiness of the story, the costumes, and the fun action in the first part of the film, which is inexplicably followed by an endless scene of people struggling through a sandstorm near what should be the big climax, render this film a bit messy but loads of fun to watch. Wait till you see "Woodsy Owl." "Why is he wearing oven mitts?" asks Crow. You won't care; you'll be laughing too hard.

Whether you watch this film "straight" or with the MST3K treatment, it is silly, fun, and entertaining.

So. We have a mythologically confused society run by a cruel but beautiful queen. She has joined forces with the Moon Man (fell to earth, made the mountain crumble and spew lava, etc etc). He has promised her that she will join him in ruling the world, but only after she tosses a bunch of people into the blue-light hole in the side of the mountain. What he really wants is her beautiful blonde half-sister, who is to provide some kind of a blood transfusion to wake up the dead/sleeping moon princess who he brought with him to Earth. Now wait a minute. I see a three way developing. I'm not sure she is going to want to share absolute power over all the world with his moll! Anyway, the people rebel against being tossed into the blue-light disco so they call Hercules. Now all joking aside, "Alan Steel" is a great Hercules. He is actually warm and engaging rather than the wooden (woody?) porn star that Steve Reeves was. I mean, in the fake love scene with the beautiful wicked queen he actually exudes chemistry! Really!
Anyway, there's a lot going on, many shots of "Alan Steel"s bulging biceps, running through sand storms, and the absolutely hilarious rock men. "You rock!" my spousy shouted out. Actually, it was kind of scary when the rock men crushed the queen, but never mind.
Aaron the 7-year-old critic raved: Two sticky thumbs up. He liked it so much that he has requested "Hercules and the Amazon Women" for our next movie night. Recommended!

Hercules (Sergio Ciani) encounters a wicked Queen Samara (Delia D'Alberti), who routinely gathers people up for sacrifice to the monsters in the mountain, which includes some guy in a leftover Greek movie mask, and a bunch of stiffly walking rock men. It seems that the monsters, or Moon Men, want to pull the moon in close to earth to make the earth a place for their kind. Of course, that will destroy the earth, but the Moon Men have promised Queen Samara that she will receive all the treasure and leftovers when the moon is pulled to earth. Yeah, right.

Hercules (who in the Italian version was some other guy called Maciste, but apparently no one knows Maciste in the United States, so he was renamed Hercules) runs around trying to save everyone and out trick the Queen. Along the way are some unintentionally funny lines, which the "Mystery Science Theater 3000" folks had fun with in a lampoon of this movie. One ready example: When Hercules arrives to keep Derax (Jean-Pierre Honoré from being murdered, but after he was shot by an arrow, the line "...just arrived in time..." is uttered. Too funny; if Hercules had arrived in time he would have arrived before Derax was shot by an arrow.

Even with its inadvertently funny moments, the movie is generally interesting if you like Italian sword-and-sandals movies, or possibly even Conan-type movies. The pace is reasonably fast, and the story line, albeit ridiculous, is relatively easy to follow. This movie is probably about average for this genre, and you can always try to put in your own one-liners.

One word of caution; I was unimpressed with the video transfer. The sound was okay, but the picture could use a lot of cleanup.

A meteor hits the earth near the land of Samar. Soon, a mysterious group of moon men set up shop in the "mountain of death", demanding human sacrifices from the Samarites. After years of this, the evil (but scrumptious) queen of Samar, Samara herself decides to join forces with the invaders! Thank the gods, Hercules (hopelessly muscle-bound Alan Steel) arrives to save the day once more! Along the way, he must escape from booby-traps, battle a long-toothed go-rilla, take on the queen's bumbling army, and tackle a horde of rock-monsters (men in 10' tall, foam-rubber rock-monster outfits)! Can he overcome these obstacles in time to save the world from lunar domination? Take a guess! I actually like this little sandal and sci-fi saga. Lots of sword swingin' and glistening pecs for the ladies! Enjoy...