Here's the Situation: A Guide to Creeping on Chicks, Avoiding Grenades, and Getting in Your GTL on the Jersey Shore [Bargain Price] [Paperback]

Mike Sorrentino (Author), Chris Millis (Author)

Book Description

Release date: November 2, 2010

Do you think that you know "The Situation"? Take the quiz and find out.

Here's how to get your situation up to the level of the Situation

Listen, dawg. You're probably hitting the gym, doing your tanning, and picking up fresh laundry every day. And maybe you've had some success beating up the beat and creeping on chicks in the club. But do you really think your situation is where it needs to be? Be honest with yourself, bro.

This book here will take your game to a level thought unattainable, given your physical limitations (because we can't all look like Rambo, pretty much, with our shirt off). We start with GTL-the bedrock of life itself. And then we hit the GTL Remix-the rules for getting your personal grooming did. From there it's my guide to the Jersey Shore, battle plans for the club, a primer on grenades and wingmen, and tips for ridding yourself of all levels of clinger. Then I look at the big picture: how to cook the perfect lasagna, how to find a life partner, and how to deal with being one of the most famous people on the planet-which is guaranteed if you follow my advice.

This is the bible for Situation Nation. Read it, live it, and crush it.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino is one of the stars of the hit MTV reality show Jersey Shore. Since he first appeared on the show in December 2009, Sorrentino has fist-pumped his way into the pop culture consciousness by way of his outlandish antics and penchant for tanning beds, hair products, gym time, and displaying his abdominal muscles. He has just released his first workout DVD that focuses on developing your abs. He lives, works out, and tans in New Jersey.

Product Details

• Paperback: 144 pages
• Publisher: Gotham; Original edition (November 2, 2010)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1592406424
• ASIN: B004P5ONQ8
• Product Dimensions: 7.8 x 5.3 x 0.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (31 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #492,951 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

32 of 33 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars This book is a godsend March 19, 2011

By Zachary Maichuk

Format:Paperback

This book was given to me as I was recovering from "the accident" and it was just the book I needed at the time. It's simplistic writing style combined with its elementary vocabulary made it one of the few books I could read and comprehend, and the fun pictures made all the more enjoyable, much like a children's book. In addition, given that I can no longer hope for a real career doing anything of value in this world, the book gave me hope, as it not only taught me the techniques to get women to lower their standards enough for me to have relations with them, but seeing the author's success despite his obvious impairments and lack of real life skills has modeled that there are ways I can succeed despite my limitations from "the accident."

37 of 40 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars The Ghostwriter is Hilarious January 13, 2011

By Farvel Newvan

Format:Paperback

Ok, I haven't finished this book, but it's funny as hell thus far. But not for the obvious reason.

It was either A) Written by The Situation and he has an amazing sense of humor about himself (doubtful) or 2) (more likely) was written by a hilarious ghostwriter who is totally oozing mockery all over this thing. In fact, it reads like it was written by an author from Cracked.com. That's my theory.

Take this book as a satirical ode to the stupidity of Jersey Shore and you'll enjoy it.

101 of 132 people found the following review helpful

1.0 out of 5 stars I could feel myself getting stupider with each turn of the page December 2, 2010

By jdkreative

Format:Paperback

The art of literature has been castrated without anesthesia by this sad, laughable piece of, well, I'd call it writing, but that just doesn't seem fair to real, actual, accomplished writers. While there are many things that bother me about the whole Jersey trend, this is by far the most damning. I often wonder if this "situation" guy even slightly realizes what a joke he is to society. Now, I understand that 98% of those who hail from the Garden state are living under the false pretention that those of us not from there have some sort of bent admiration for them. However, this could not be further from the truth. In essence, the public's fascination with Jersey is tantamount to an infant's fascination with a water balloon; it's slightly entertaining, easily manipulated, and we can't help but want to drop it off a large building to see what happens. As an author myself, it sickens me to think that I am now in the professional company of this sack lunch with abs. Even more concerning (provided that we as a society have not risen up to burn all remaining copies), fifty years from now, it is thoughtless mind spew like this that will serve as a reflection of the generation that still had a shred of editorial integrity. If you want to know the real situation, I'll give it to you: Apparently, any ass-clown with gelled hair, a tan, and a 30 word vocabulary can make it in America, provided there are still agenda-driven producers who are willing to sell their soul at the expense of exploitation. This book personifies so much of what is wrong with our country, and I honestly feel less intelligent having read it.

76 of 102 people found the following review helpful

1.0 out of 5 stars The cover says it all... November 27, 2010

By T. Dalton

Format:Paperback

I flipped through this book at Borders and managed to read quite a bit...it's a short read. I was shocked. I heard about Jersey Shore because my 18 year old son likes it and he was telling me about "gym, tan, laundry"...so when I saw it I picked it up. Wow. This guy is about as egotistical and shallow as they come. It scares me that these are the kinds of people who are influencing our young people. Referring to "ugly" women as "grenades", taking multiple women home and "pounding it out" in the bedroom then trying to get rid of them because you're tired...and what to do when a woman actually says "I love you"...it's a very pathetic existence. In the real world people get hurt when they're living this kind of a lifestyle because it has something called consequences. Sexually transmitted diseases run rampant, unplanned pregnancys happen and then you're dealing with a child or an abortion, and hearts are broken when women are used and treated as objects to be enjoyed then discarded by creeps like this guy, not to mention the eventual consequences of his own shallow values and existence.

Some might enjoy this as a light, entertaining read but I take this stuff seriously. Any parent with a son or daughter who looks up to people who choose this kind of existence would. A successful, productive, fulfilled, joyful, peaceful, and truly happy life cannot be found through such an existence. I predict that this guy will find himself with many regrets someday when he relizes how he's squandered his life away.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful

1.0 out of 5 stars poorly written book November 25, 2012

By Eileen

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

Not worth purchasing, nor knowing about the Situation. I bought the book for my son (upon his request) and should not have.

3 of 4 people found the following review helpful

1.0 out of 5 stars PLEASE GET OUT OF THE GENE POOL. March 24, 2012

By Shoot me.

Format:Paperback

I swear to God almighty, one day literature will have revival and all this BS "writing" will be burnt for causing the decline of of our F'ing civilization. "Talk talk talk, funny word, talk talk talk, one time, talk, funny word, insult, talk, end of chapter one." If you have read this garbage consider your self retarded. Honestly, if you really bought this book, sat down and read it, you are a punch line to a joke. This guy and tucker max should have their hands/mouths removed.

4 of 6 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars This book help me to learning engrish November 1, 2011

By Nomma de Pluma

Format:Paperback

Mike Man of situation so wise, like owl. I learning the engrish very good from his book. He engrish so velly good, like Salah Parin, moose-lady runned for vice president. Mike Man of situation teaching me that he have much respect for the women. He so handsome too, when I drinking a lot. Word.