Customer Reviews

Here's What We'll Say: Growing Up, Coming Out, and the U.S. Air Force

5 star:		(33)
4 star:		(4)
3 star:		(5)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(4)

 

 

I rated this book five stars because of the author's willingness to tell so much about himself (good and bad) and his leadership against the military's DADT policy.

I need to say upfront that I am gay, was drafted into the Army in '67 and served in Vietnam (hated every minute) and grew up in the same conservative Massachusetts' community as Richen Lehmkulm. I have never meet Reichen and never watched the reality TV shows on which he has appeared. I am aware that Reichen is a controversial person in the gay
community.

The first half of "Here's What We'll Say" takes Reichen from childhood through high school. My life was very similar to Reichen's. He did a good job of describing what junior high and high school is like in rural, less liberal communities of Massachusetts. Reichen's big issue during the Mass. years was feeling inferior and angry because he lived with his mom and step father in a trailer park. Some anger is still there, because Reichen names the two people who were class bullies and picked on him in the 7th and 8th grades. He states that they must be gay, even though both men are married and have many children. Reichen provides no proof that either man is gay.

Reichen learned to love flying planes from his beloved grandmother and
secured a slot at the Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs. He did well in the various training programs and showed leadership potential before his freshmen year (equal to basic training and advanced infantry training). By his second year, it is obvious that Reichen has no respect for most of the rules and training underclassmen requirements of the Air Force Academy. Many of the rule and regulation may be ridiculous, but even I (a mere draftee) understood the underlining purpose behind the rules better than Reichen.

If it ever occurred to Reichen that his love of flying and nothing else were fairly slim reasons for attending the Air Force Academy, he never mentions it in the book.

Reichen was able to have a fairly active gay sex live at the Air Force Academy and helped others navigate around the horrible Don't ask, Don't tell policy. This is the best part of the book. Reichen is not afraid to show both his good qualities and his arrogance in full bloom.

Finally the author atributes his low history grades freshmen year to his poor skills at "understanding chains of events." Yet his book is full of detailed chains of events in his life. Understanding chains of events is my best skill. Yet, I couldn't come close to writing such a detailed book about my life. Reichen does acknowledge those who helped him with the book, but I believe that he received much more help than he is admitting.

Despite all these reservation, I still rate this book 5 stars. Based on the book, my guess is that Reichen will take strong exception to my critical comments, if he ever sees this review. But, I hope I am wrong on that.

this book was an amazing story. it told you everything you wanted and didn't want to know a/b both reichen and the air force academy. there are some things that happen in this book that are both terrifying and saddening. it shows you that something really has to be done w/ the "don't ask, don't tell" policy. some of the things he tells you about just breaks your heart like his sexual assault and his friends attempted suicide after his boyfriend was removed from the academy after peolpe squealed on him. this is a must have that will enlighten you to things you never knew happened and still happens. this is a better book then i could ever say.

I lived in Colorado Springs during the late 1980s, and I had a cousin who graduated from the Academy in 1992, so I'm familiar with the culture of both the city and the Academy during the general time period that Reichen was a cadet. While he obviously had to use made-up names for his characters and create composite characters based on more than one person to protect his friends, the virulently anti-gay atmosphere that he describes is true to life. As a gay man myself, I had to remain deeply closeted in my own sports-related work environment, as well as enduring constant tirades in the local news media about the evils of "the chosen homosexual lifestyle." That Reichen was able to engage in any kind of gay-oriented social life at the Academy, Ground Zero for all things homophbic in "The Springs," demonstrates a high capacity for risk taking--some might even call it courage.

While I've lost a lot of respect for Reichen in his post-military quest for eternal youth and gay celebrity status (I guess he has to play on his looks while he still has them), I'll always admire him for writing this book.

It appears that there are some people who, for their own ignorant reasons, refuse to buy or read this book. There are others who, even after reading it, are too moronic to understand the importance of it.

'Here's What We'll Say' is a detailed memoir of a man who many insist on pre-judging based on what they've seen on television. It took an incredible ammount of bravery for this book to even be written and I'm glad it has been. Reichen Lehmkuhl has shown that while there are things in his life that he is proud to have done, there are many other things that he is not proud of. He takes us back to his childhood where he was constantly made fun of and abandoned. He shows us the obstacles and terrors he has overcome to become who he is today. Most importantly he is exposing to the world an atrocity that has caused countless cadets their careers and their dignity. If you will not buy this book because of you're pre-judgement of the man who wrote it, buy it to educate yourself about the horrific injustice that is being done to the men and women who have volunteered their lives to serve your country and the ammount of tax dollars you are spending to discharge those men and women and waste that service. While most people would prefer to be ignorant and apathetic, I hope you buy this book and read it in it's entirety and open your eyes to one of the many travesties that this country is responsible for.

As a heterosexual-groupie-of-a-certain-"boy-band"-from-the-nineties-woman, I bought this book because I was interested in it's author. I wanted to know more about Reichen. After the first few pages, I found it hard to put this book down. I learned a lot more than I was expecting to learn! I have gay friends, but this book was a lot of insight into coming out, especially in the military. I find it hard to believe that even today there are such "regulations" as "Don't Ask, Don't Tell". And, to be honest, I (as I'm sure A LOT of people are) was ignorant. I thought it was something used to protect gays in the military. I know that to be completely FALSE now and I agree that it should not be tolerated any longer in today's society. If you enjoy getting an insight into issues of today's society, whether you're hetero or homo-sexual, I suggest reading this book. Educate yourself and get a first-hand point of view into something most people will never experience. Read it!!!

Besides the fact that there were enough typos to fire the editor, I loved the book. At one point the Character Allen turned to Adam...it was annoying to see such carelessness, but hey, it's his first book.Truthfully, I felt bad for Reichen and his story really resonated with me. But one MUST imagine him as a skinny , big-eared kid, living in a trailer and trying to find his way in the military as a gay young man in order for it all to make sense.You have to disregard the image of him now when reading the book. For some reason, that's where the book designer really screwed up. Having this gorgeous looking guy on the cover is a recipe for instant pretentiousness. It's a hurdle that some can not overcome. I preferred to look at the back cover when imagining what he looked like at school. WHY? Because one does not buy the fact that one who looks so strong, handsome and virile can be a sad, lovable and warm-hearted kid on a path to self-discovery. It's like he is a totally different guy now. We're reading about him when he was an 8-22 year-old, blond kid, but we see a 33 year old with dark hair on the cover. There's simply too much of a disconnect. Anyway, loved the book and read it in 7 hours. I did not put it down. I suggest all guys, straight or gay read this. It's a lesson in a person's perserverance, self preservation, and inner strength. Maybe a movie about this is needed to happen. But I must commend this guy for being such a good, caring, and very believable man.

I have just finished "Heres what we'll say" I must say that I could not put this book down, I have never ever in my life finished a book and I finished this one. I absolutley love it. I found out about this book through a online Blog that had a clip of Reichen at a Gay Rights event. i saw how profoundly handsome he was and was curious as to what he had to say. I have always wanted to join the Air Force (not the academy) but I never have despite a lot of my closests friends who did, due to being affraid of me being gay and what may happen to me.
Message to reichen if you read this.. Man, I love you and thank you so much for what you have done thus far for our country and for what you are about the things you strive for to make our country a better place for our "Family" Thank you so much for sharing and I wish you all the best!!
Blessed Be!!

My interest in Reichen's book began a few weeeks ago after I saw an article saying that he and his boyfriend, former *NSYNC star Lance Bass, had received threats because of the book. It was all over the news. I picked up the book to see what all the fuss was about that would make people sink as low as to threaten another human being.

What I found was an amazing story of hardship, courage, and self-discovery. Reichen details the intense training he had to endure in basic training as a student at the Air Force Academy. He also speaks of the struggles as he tried to come to terms with his sexuality.

Most importantly, he speaks of the struggles he and fellow cadets faced as they tried to live a double life, one under the strict rules and code of the U.S. military and the Don't Ask Don't Tell policy and one as a gay American. The courage they showed as they faced these challenges was very admirable.


Kudos to you, Reichen. May you have a lifetime of true happiness...

This is one of those books that after I finished it, I miss it. I miss hearing about Reichen's stories. He does very well doing it, and I must thank him for sharing so many personal and intimate details of his life. (I suppose this is why people write their autobiographies though). But many don't share quite as intimately as Reichen does. Since he is a young man still, we are taken right from early childhood up to the current time. A sequel would be nice. But wouldn't hold the same intrigue as this book did.

I think Reichen Lehmkuhl is a lovely person and it was so exciting to read about him growing up. He was a grateful, loving child and youth and seemed like a good and obedient child. The main reason I bought the book was because I LOVE to read about homosexuals and military life. There aren't that many type books out there. And most of them end up with the author fighting the military about being gay (and always losing). Reichen played pretty much by the rules---he did graduate from the USAF Academy and helped many others to successfully progress through their training & education also.

This was a delightful read. I became so scared for him that he was going to get caught in the Academy. I couldn't quite understand his falling back into women and heterosexuality at low moments, but I had to keep telling myself that he WAS young and most likely still questioning himself. I had to remember that I did similar things. This is one book I will KEEP as one of my special books and will reread again someday.

I was unhappy with the photos. They are almost worthless. Like they were from someone else's camera and a hasty addition to the book. Biographies are so much better when they include photos throughout the life. These are very bad.

I definitely recommend this book to anyone who is coming out, who has a friend who is coming out, or thinks that Don't Ask, Don't Tell isn't hurting anyone. This is a very inspiring story about a guy who starts off like you and me and who ends up just trying to protect his friends. Read about the hypocrisy of the USAF and the military in general. I'm sure they won't admit it, but this is just one more story that confirms that Don't Ask Don't Tell is not a working program. I was impressed with the story and the quality of character described within.