Customer Reviews

Here's Your Sign

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As I read this book, I could hear Mr. Engvall's voice. His delivery and timing are as good in his writing as in his shows. You will find a piece of yourself in many of these hilarious stories. Highly recommended.

When I read this book I thought I was going to hurt myself. The next best thing to this book is seeing Bill Engvall in person.

Bill Engvall has been performing comedy for over 20 years, but since he joined up with Jeff Foxworthy, Ron White, and Larry the Cable Guy in "Blue Collar Comedy Tour" it seems his career has skyrocketed, just as it has for the other three. For all those that are familiar with his comedy routines, you know how he likes to point out the stupid things people say, and he wishes he had a sign that says "I'm Stupid" to hand out to these people, hence his most famous saying, "Here's Your Sign."

Now, in the book of the same name, "Here's Your Sign," Bill Engvall has collected more than 200 of his classic "Here's Your Sign" jokes. For anyone not familiar with these, here's an example:

"My son, whose front tooth had just come out, was with me in a mall. I ran into a friend of mine who looked at my son and asked, `Did you lose your tooth?' My son said, `No, I like to keep that space open so I can spit water through it." Or, for another, "I was in the bathroom and my son yelled through the door, `Dad, are you going to the bathroom?' I said, `Nope, I'm quilting the Charmin."

In his stand-up routines, he jokes about just handing people their very own Stupid sign, and I bet Engvall could sell millions of the little sign that is stuck onto the cover of this book. I'm sure we all could figure out many people to give them to. The collection contained in this volume made me laugh. I think it is even better if you have heard him tell some of these jokes, because then you can imagine how he tells it. And face it, the telling of jokes by comedians is often more important than the material.

Besides all of the "Here's Your Sign" jokes, the book also contains a few family stories that I enjoyed more than the shorter quips. He shared times when his kids asked him what sex was, other parenting experiences, and a hilarious story about how a fear of snakes ruined what could have been a very romantic evening.

If you are a fan of Bill Engvall, you'll enjoy this book. I sure did. His hilarious look at the ridiculous things people say and do will make you laugh and the family stories are even better. For a quick humorous read when you need a chuckle or belly laugh, "Here's Your Sign" by Bill Engvall fits the bill. The perfect gift for Engvall and Blue Collar Comedy fans.

Reviewed by Alain Burrese, J.D., author of the Lock On Joint Locking Essentials series.

Bill Engvall has taken a subject, known to us all, and made an art of it.
The world abounds in stupidity.In fact, there is so much of it around that the old adage of "You Can't See The Forest For The Trees",certainly applies in spades.The only thing,we must be observant,else we overlook the stupididity that is continually thrown at us,particularly in the form of idle questions. Most people put their mouth in motion before their brain is engaged;and that is when stupidity reigns supreme. I am sure you've heard many times that "There's no such thing as a stupid question". Well,nothing could be further from the truth,as Bill Engvall shows us in this collection of questions,replies and illustrations.I purposely use the term reply rather than answer;because a reply,and the more sarcastic the better, is what is warrented.He gives us over 300 examples of stupid questions and the appropriate replies they so well deserved.I am sure you have had many just as stupid questions directed at you,but without giving them the reply they merit;you probably just politely gave an answer; and that if you gave it some thought ,was just as stupid as the question.The only reason such stupid questions persist,is that we encourage it by polite "answers".
We must be vigilant ,especially when we are doing something,and someone approaches,thinking it to be their bound duty to ask a question,any question, as long as it breaks the silence. A good "reply" to a stupid question should be an art for all of us to develop. End the end,even the questioner will get a laugh out of it.
Here are a couple of personal experiences;
One day when I arrived late for class, the teacher who I really liked, and thought that he had a great sense of humor;interrupted the class,struck a commanding pose and said,"Now,Mr.Guild,And would you like to explain to all of us ,why you are late today?" Almost as if struck by a bolt of wisdom from on high,I replied ;"Well,Mr.Carter,the bell rang before I got here." ..it took a couple of minutes before the laughter subsided,even for Mr.Carter.
On another occasion,while standing outside the lecture hall at University,a group were smoking.Someone had butted out a cigarette in front of the dook.The Professor ,in arriving spotted the butt, pointed,and said;"Whose cigarette butt is that?" Some student,really on the ball,replied; "I guess it's yours Sir;you spotted it first."...end of discussion,and on to the lecture ,with everyone smiling!!
This book is a great introduction to an art everyone should develop;even if they keep their replies to themselves.

Never forget though ;

If one is ignorant,they can always learn,but stupidity is permanent.