Customer Reviews

Heroics for Beginners

5 star:		(3)
4 star:		(10)
3 star:		(5)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

It's been a while since I've read a straightforward fantasy comedy (as opposed to Terry Pratchett, whose books are comedic fantasy with a point), so maybe that's why I was definitely in the mood for John Moore's Heroics for Beginners. This story is so light that it would blow away with a stiff wind. Yet it's oddly enjoyable with a lot of silliness, poking fun at almost every fantasy convention that's out there. Evil Overlord? Check. Dark castle with air vents for easy Heroic access? Check. The cover tells anybody who picks it up that "this will be a silly book." I really liked it, though whether you will depends on how much silliness you can put up with.

Prince Kevin Timberline, of Rassendas, is one of the four finalists to woo the "Ice Princess" of Deserae, not to mention her father and the other councilors who must agree to any wedding. His main adversary is Prince Logan of Angostura, a military genius and veteran of many wars. Then, the unthinkable happens, and word is received that Ancient Artifact Number 7 has been stolen by Lord Voltmeter (He Who Must Be Named) for whatever Diabolical Plan he has cooked up. Whoever rescues the artifact will probably win the girl too, so Prince Kevin is determined to beat Logan to the punch, especially after reading Robert Taylor's Handbook of Practical Heroics. Will Kevin be able to do it? What is Lord Voltmeter's Diabolical Plan? Is it different than any other Evil Overlord's Diabolical Plan? And will it involve an Evil Overlord's Assistant for Kevin to seduce? And just how will they get out of the Fortress of Doom's gift shop?

Many things in Heroics for Beginners made me laugh out loud. Some others made me groan the way a good pun makes you groan. And then there are bits that made me groan in pain. This book is very self-referential, using fantasy stereotypes as sources of comedy, as when Valerie, Voltmeter's assistant, is told to dress more like an Evil Overlord's Assistant, with her high leather boots and spiked heels. Lord Voltmeter is all prepared to tell the captured Logan his plan, as all Evil Overlords do just before leaving the hero to die, but he doesn't feel that Kevin's worth it when he discovers that Kevin is not Logan. A lot of these jokes work by catching you off guard, though they do grow tired after continual use (such as Valerie's clothes, said joke being used multiple times). One that didn't grow tired, because Moore uses it in different ways each time, is the ventilation shaft joke. It's introduced in the opening scene with Thunk the Barbarian, but is made even funnier as the Fortress guards try to convince Kevin to use it to get into the castle (a sign says "LOCKED OUT? TRY OUR EXTENDED HOURS. VENTILATION SHAFT OPEN UNTIL 10 P.M.).

However, the original bits of comedy are often funnier as they hit the reader and then go on their way. Some of these bits are short while others are long. I found the safety posters in the torture chamber especially amusing. A longer sequence in the middle of the book, detailing the rise of Lord Voltmeter, is even better. He kills the current king of a fairytale kingdom, and then tries to figure out how to kill all of the heirs and thus assume absolute power, as the king had seven siblings, and each one of those siblings had many more children. An edict to kill all children won't work as some are in their twenties. Watching Voltmeter and his minions try and do the math was priceless.

Of course, there are some faults with the book. As stated before, some of the jokes are run into the ground a little bit. Others fall flat right at the outset (unfortunately, one of those is a horrible pun at the beginning of the book, making me wonder about the book for a moment). Like a Mel Brooks or a "Naked Gun" movie, the jokes come fast and furious, so even if one falls, another one will be right around the corner. Oddly, the beginning is the slowest part, and it takes a few pages for the book to become truly funny. The ending, while somewhat predictable, doesn't turn out quite the way you would believe, which is another plus.

Don't expect anything deep out of Heroics for Beginners, as you won't get it. Moore obviously wrote this book to entertain, and he does his job. There is no commentary on the fantasy tropes that Moore uses. Instead, he just takes them and makes fun of them. The characters in the book are either twists on these stereotypes, or people outside the stereotypes who are aware of them and trying to circumvent them. Kevin is a good protagonist, as is Princess Rebecca, but neither one is given a lot of depth. We get no real reason why Rebecca has the "Ice Princess" persona, but Kevin has a masterful scene that shows off his character and intelligence in the early part of the book. He's the only one who gets even close to three-dimensional. This weakens the story a little bit, but not enough to really detract from the reader's enjoyment. The purpose is the jokes, right?

Heroics for Beginners is the perfect light read for fantasy fans who are not only tired of the clichés, but the brick-like books that contain those clichés. You'll even laugh some too, which can't be a bad thing.

David Roy

I am not a big fan of comic fantasy, but HEROICS FOR BEGINNERS was irresistibly good fun. I was charmed from the opening lines: "Before attempting to penetrate the Evil Overlord's Invincible Fortress, the practical hero will seriously examine the option of maintaining a safe distance and picking him off the ramparts with a long-range weapon." If that does not make you smile, you should probably skip this book.

I understand that my engineering friends caught technical in-jokes and puns that I did not, but there were plenty of jokes I could get. As a non-engineer, I never felt left out.

HEROICS FOR BEGINNERS is not a Great Book, but I cannot imagine that you want to read such if you have gotten this far in shopping for it. If you want silly, lightweight fun, this may be just the ticket.

The Prince of Rassendas, Kevin Timberline is in the kingdom of Deserae to spy for his countrymen and to find a way to persuade Princess Becky's father to allow him to marry his daughter. They are both in love but the survival of the Kingdom takes precedence over true love and it is Prince Logan who is picked to head the armies to fight and defeat Lord Voltmeter whose Fortress of Doom lies in the town of Angst. The king of Deserae is warned because Voltmeter stole Artifact Model Seven which when combined with the Diabolic Device becomes a weapon of mass destruction.

Prince Kevin is determined to marry his true love and sneaks out of the palace and goes to the Fortress of Doom posing as a ventilation shaft cleaner. Princess Becky follows him to act as his comic sidekick, but she ends up in the dungeon needing him to free her while he also must find the artifact before his rival arrives to claim it and Becky but first they must find away of neutralizing Voltmeter.

This is an excellent tongue in cheek parody fantasy that pokes fun at all the elements of a sword and sorcery novel. The humorous HEROES FOR BEGINNERS takes sly shots at archetypical heroes of the genre and fans will appreciate how the laughs do not detract from the seriousness of the storyline and will find they want to read more books by John Moore, an author mythically reminiscent of Robert Asprin.

Harriet Klausner

Prince Kevin Timberline has a problem. He has worked very hard to win the political approval necessary to win the hand of a princess he loves but a dangerous Ancient Artifact has been stolen from her country. Her hand is offered to the hero who returns the Artifact. Kevin is not a hero but a rival suitor is. A full scale assault will be made on the Evil Overlord but Kevin may have an ace up his sleeve. Kevin is armed with a copy of THE HANDBOOK OF PRACTICAL HEROICS. With this book he hopes to succeed where all others have failed before him.

But Kevin learns that there are things the book does not cover, such as what to do when the Princess insists on accompanying you. Not to mention the alchemist, University positions, and a whole load of other details that keep getting in the way. So how does Kevin manage to continue his mission and keep the rival hero from winning the princess? Well, you will have to read the book to see if he does.

John Moore hit the scene with SLAY AND RESCUE and recently released THE UNHANDSOME PRINCE. While those book specialized in the parody of fairy tales and the application of reality to them, this one takes one heroic fantasy and hits it on the head in the same way. Find out how an Evil Overlord climbs the social ladder to his position. See how benefits can get others to work for you. See how research grants can affect a kingdom. See more reality bump into traditional fantasy concepts in ways guaranteed to crack a smile and cause a few laughs. If you have enjoyed his other books, this one will not disappoint.

This is one of my favourite fantasy books ever. It might not have the epic scope of 'The Lord Of The Rings', nor the immersive quality of Feist's 'Riftwar Saga', but what it does have going for it it has in spades: it's very clever. This is 'The Hitch Hiker's Guide To The Galaxy' of fantasy novels. Forget Terry Pratchett, Tom Holt, and Robert Rankin. John Moore is far funnier. Plus, his comic syle of writing isn't the only attraction; this book has an exciting, original plot and some very cool characters.

You can read the first few pages here on Amazon to get a good idea of how the book is written. I guess the one potential problem for some readers might be that this book isn't a serious, dramatic story that you can lose yourself in. It's light and entertaining. But with so many serious, dark fantasy novels out there, this aspect in itself in like a breath of fresh air.

This book isn't great literature, or even a really good book, at least not in the sense that most people use to describe good books. What it is, however, is fun, amusing, and clever.

With an interesting mix of modern and medieval views, colloquialisms, and technology, Heroics for Beginners is an interesting and amusing read. It plays off a lot of popular and common heroic/fantasy/adventure novel clichés and is good for more than a few laughs.

When Ancient Artifact Model 7 (the very latest in ancient artifacts) is stolen from the kingdom of Desarae, Prince Kevin Timberline (son of Eric the Cool), has to retrieve it from the Evil Overlord who stole it before it is turned into a Weapon of Mass Destruction (which is accomplished by combining it with the Diabolical Device). More importantly, he has to do this before his arch-rival, Prince Logan, manages to do the same and wins the hand of Princess Becky.

The Evil Overlord, Lord Voltmeter, is He Who Must Be Named (don't you dare use a pronoun to refer to him), and his castle has a turnstile at the most common entrance for would be heros-the ventilation shaft.

This is a novel that fans of light-hearted humor like Terry Pratchett's novels will most likely enjoy. It wasn't quite as entertaining as the Discworld novels, but it was amusing, and it was fun, and he's definitely an author who I would read again given the opportunity.

"Heroics for Beginners" is a pleasant, light, and cleverly-written book that will have you laughing out loud. I highly recommend this as a beach or vacation book--it is light enough to be put down and picked up numerous times, and clever enough that it is virtually impossible to read it without laughing. Highly recommended.

This book is like nothing else I've ever read. It reminded me of an episode of Seinfeld. Much of the book was about nothing, but an entertaining laugh-out-loud kind of nothing. Poking fun at the fantasy genre and the James Bond/superspy genre with pages of absurd dialogue in which characters discuss things like the best way to disarm a Doomsday device and the future career prospects for beautiful evil assistants made this book a highly enjoyable companion for the few hours it took me read.

If you like Seinfeld, and you like fantasy, then this book is for you.

The other reviewers have given enough details on the plot, etc. I'll just say I enjoyed reading it and chuckled quite a bit. I'll read his other book and if another one comes out I'll read that book as well. If you're not looking for something serious and like Robert Asprin and Terry Pratchett you should enjoy this.

This book doesn't have the puns like Robert Asprin's books do so if that's what you like you'll be disappointed.

An amusing book that makes fun of the conventions of Sword and Sorcery Fantasy novels. It has an Evil Overlord, Princes vying for the hand of a Princess, Evil Assistants Minions and chain-mail bras. The protagonist is Prince Kevin, son of Eric the Cool, who wants to win the hand of Princess Rebecca (The Ice Princess). His campaign to get the council of lords to award him her hand is derailed when Ancient Artifact #7 disappears. His cheif rival, a mighty warrior is awarded Rebecca's hand return for his leading an army to return the artifact. Kevin refuses to accept this, so he heads out to the castle of the Evil Voltmeter to recover the artifact first. Hilarity ensues.
This is a light read (I read it in about 1/2 a day), but an amusing one. I would recomend it. It manages to poke fun at the genre while remaining an interesting story.