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Herrings Go about the Sea In Shawls: ...and other classic howlers from classrooms and examination papers...
 
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Herrings Go about the Sea In Shawls: ...and other classic howlers from classrooms and examination papers... [Hardcover]

Alexander Abingdon (Author), Seuss (Illustrator)
4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)


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Book Description

November 1, 1997
A polygon is a dead parrot. Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration and then expectoration. They gave William IV a lovely funeral. It took six men to carry the beer. This priceless collection of ill-digested juvenile learning, first published by Viking in 1931 as Boners (compiled and edited by "Alexander Abingdon"), was an enormous bestseller for over half a century and contains what are among the earliest published drawings by the unmistakable Dr. Seuss. Redesigned and repackaged with a vintage look, Herrings Go About the Sea in Shawls is a must for the legion fans of Dr. Seuss, and the gift of choice on any occasion, for anyone with a sense of humor--earthy, cerebral, subtle, or sublimely silly!

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 128 pages
  • Publisher: Viking Adult; First Edition, Thus edition (November 1, 1997)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0670877514
  • ISBN-13: 978-0670877515
  • Product Dimensions: 7.7 x 4.7 x 0.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #707,366 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

"A person's a person, no matter how small," Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, would say. "Children want the same things we want. To laugh, to be challenged, to be entertained and delighted."

Brilliant, playful, and always respectful of children, Dr. Seuss charmed his way into the consciousness of four generations of youngsters and parents. In the process, he helped millions of kids learn to read.

Dr. Seuss was born Theodor Geisel in Springfield, Massachusetts, on March 2, 1904. After graduating from Dartmouth College in 1925, he went to Oxford University, intending to acquire a doctorate in literature. At Oxford, Geisel met Helen Palmer, whom he wed in 1927. Upon his return to America later that year, Geisel published cartoons and humorous articles for Judge, the leading humor magazine in America at that time. His cartoons also appeared in major magazines such as Life, Vanity Fair, and Liberty. Geisel gained national exposure when he won an advertising contract for an insecticide called Flit. He coined the phrase, "Quick, Henry, the Flit!" which became a popular expression.

Geisel published his first children's book, And to Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street, in 1937, after 27 publishers rejected it.

Winner of the Pulitzer Prize in 1984, an Academy Award, three Emmy Awards, three Grammy Awards, and three Caldecott Honors, Geisel wrote and illustrated 44 books. While Theodor Geisel died on September 24, 1991, Dr. Seuss lives on, inspiring generations of children of all ages to explore the joys of reading.

 

Customer Reviews

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Average Customer Review
4.5 out of 5 stars (2 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Fun to read, 77 years later!, December 17, 2008
By 
This review is from: Herrings Go about the Sea In Shawls: ...and other classic howlers from classrooms and examination papers... (Hardcover)
In 1931, Alexander Abingdon wrote a thin book titled "Boners". It was a collection of answers to questions in a broad range of disciplines. The book was illustrated by Dr. Seuss (Theodor Seuss Geisel). This book is the 1997 retooling of that original book.

I can't really tell from the snippets the ages or grades of the students that came up with these "boners". Unfortunately, I wouldn't be surprised if they were college students!

Some of the student answers are funny because they are silly or horrible. Others are funny because there is a greater truth in the botched answer than in the right one! You decide.

Here are some examples:

"Celibacy is the crime a priest commits when he marries."

"Faith is that quality which enables us to believe what we know to be untrue." [ouch!]

"A monologue is a conversation between two people, such as husband and wife."

"A polygon is a man who has many wives."

"A polygon is a dead parrot."

"Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name."

Use of the word, "asterisk". "Last night my father got drunk and made an asterisk out of himself."

"Michael Angelo painted the dome of the Sistine Madonna."

"In Christianity a man can only have one wife. This is called Monotony."

"Solomon had 300 wives and 700 porcupines." [Dr. Suess had fun illustrating this one.]

"The first book in the Bible is Guinness."

"The Bible is against bigamy when it says that no man can serve two masters."

"Christianity was introduced into Britain by the Romans in 55 B.C."

"Asked to name six animals peculiar to the Arctic regions, a boy relied: 'Three bears and three seals.'"

"The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosquitoes."

"China is called China because the first china was made there."

"Science is material. Religion is immaterial."

"The theory of evolution was greatly objected to because it made men think."

"The zebra is like the horse only striped, and is chiefly used to illustrate the letter Z."

"To remove air from a flask, fill the flask with water, tip the water out, and put the cork in quick."

"Chlorine gas is very injurious to the human body, and the following experiments should, therefore, only be performed on the teacher."

"A magnet is a thing you find in a bad apple." [think about it...]

"To fill an apparatus with acidulated water, turn on the taps and acidulate."

"Define the elements. 'Mustard, pepper, salt and vinegar.'"

"A polygon with seven sides is called a hooligan."

"Describe the hardships of the Crusaders on their way to the Holy Land. 'Many of them died of salvation.'"

"The conquest of Ireland began in 1170 and is still going on."

"They gave William IV a lovely funeral. It took six men to carry the beer."

"Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? 'At the bottom.'"

"Masculine, man; feminine, woman; neuter, corpse."

Translate LXXX: "Love and kisses."

"Where are the Kings of England crowned? On their heads."

"The wife of a duke is a ducky."

"Certainly he pleasures of youth are great, but they are nothing to the pleasures of adultery."


And this is just a sampling! Enjoy.
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2 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars Amusing and cleverly illustrated, March 26, 1999
By A Customer
This review is from: Herrings Go about the Sea In Shawls: ...and other classic howlers from classrooms and examination papers... (Hardcover)
I own an original copy of this wonderful publication entitled The Omnibus Boners. It was copyrighted in 1931. I loved it as a small boy and refer to it often for the delightful quotations. It is a wonder filled collection of what actually go's on in the juvenile mind. The writings are genuine and as an amusing sidelight, they expose the changes in our educational standards since 1931. Dr. Seuss' illustrations are sometimes reminiscent of his later publications like Horton, Cat in the Hat, Grinch, etc..
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