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He's Got Potential: A Field Guide to Shy Guys, Bad Boys, Intellectuals, Cheaters, and Everything in Between Paperback – January 1, 2010


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 240 pages
  • Publisher: Wiley; 1 edition (January 1, 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0470267011
  • ISBN-13: 978-0470267011
  • Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.6 x 0.7 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (8 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,901,199 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review

* In this field guide to single men, psychologist/advice columnist Vranich and sexual health expert Marder explain and refine women's urge to improve their mates, using foresight and practical wisdom to encourage women to find a man who suits them better initially, and who can honestly (and happily) accept direction regarding his loved one's desires. The duo, each with background in magazines, maintain a breezy but authoritative tone as they break down prospects into different archetypes (the couch potato, the man-child, the ""undomesticated guy"") and assess their potential for change, analyze women's penchant for ""bad boys,"" and discuss effective tactics for communicating concerns. Though their advice and analysis can be overmuch—less for the casually dating than for those seriously seeking long-term relationship and marriage—Vranich and Marder know that common sense advice can be easy to overlook in the heat of the hunt, and put that advice in useful context that makes it easy to absorb. Women hoping that their next ""project"" will be their last should benefit from this matter-of-fact guide. (Jan.) (Publishers Weekly.com, February 4, 2010)

From the Back Cover

Okay, so he's got some imperfections you'd like to smooth out—but will your man morph into Mr. Right with your help? He's Got Potential has the answer to that question and will show you how to bring out the best of what he's got—or not!

If you've been wondering whether your man is a diamond in the rough or just a lump of coal, this book will help you uncover his true nature. The authors explain why women endure the frustration of trying to transform a sub-par boyfriend into the man of their dreams and why men can be disappointed when women change as they turn into wives and mothers. The information and tactics in this book will help you:

  • Tell if a man is a Cheapskate, Know-It-All, Liar, Couch Potato, ADD Guy, Wannabe Artist, or all of the above

  • Explain the biological and social reasons that women assess men for the potential they might have in the future while men assess women as they are

  • Know when to walk away, when to run, and how to get over him


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Customer Reviews

4.4 out of 5 stars
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I've already gifted three copies!
honey p.
Maybe you can help your honey stop biting his fingernails but ultimately, if he doesn't want to change no amount of encouragement is going to make him change.
Melissa
This book is full of some really great advice.
Lisa B.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

5 of 6 people found the following review helpful By honey p. on February 4, 2010
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
With so much pressure put on assessing a mate it's hard to know who to listen to. The authors of "He's Got Potential" are experts in their field. They write in the same tone you use to speak to your girlfriends in on these very topics. Their trustworthy guidelines on finding the right mate are both helpful and insightful. You'll find the stereotypes endlessly amusing, the questions thought-provoking and the scenarios very easy to relate to. You'll get a laugh out of how well they've captured the various types of men, while at the same time gaining some wisdom on the fine art of finding a man. And, if you've got one you aren't sure about it, this book will certainly help you figure out if he's a keeper. I've already gifted three copies!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By H. Kaduson on January 8, 2010
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
As a psychologist, I have been waiting for a book that I could recommend to my adolescent clients about relationships that would hit home for them. This book is it!!! The authors have really put together a guide that anyone would benefit from, and it is so helpful for young ladies of all ages. I am very happy to have read it and ordered 10 copies just to give to my clients. It is terrific!
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Format: Paperback
I was recommended this book by a friend. I didn't know much about the book before starting it so I thought it would be close to what the title says "He's Got Potential" but I guess I read it wrong.

In my point of view, the title is a total misnomer. "He's Got Potential: a field guide to shy guys, bad boys, intellectuals, cheaters, and everything in between." I thought it was about finding the good stuff and potential boyfriends on the types of guys that girls usually turn down. Heck, I find myself turning down lots of guys that like me, so I thought maybe something is wrong with me, that I'm not seeing more, and that this book would help me see the "boyfriend potential" in those wrong types.
But that's not what this book is about at ALL.

Instead, it's about women who stick with boyfriends that are no good for them because the woman sees "potential" and tries to change the guy. I agree with the book - people for the most part, cannot be changed. However, even in this advice, I felt like the book was very negative. Dr. Vranich (the author) spent devoted a large part of this book about how to see the end in a relationship and how to leave, but she didn't spend so much time talking about learning to COPE with these "rough" patches in guys, and how to be OKAY with it.

So basically, she wrote the book for ONE TYPE of WOMAN - the ones who sticks around, gets annoyed at something, tries to change the guy and doesn't work out, and then she keeps on asking herself if she wants to leave. In this case, the book is helpful. She makes the woman ask herself many questions about how she came to this realization, whether to leave or not leave, and how to leave with dignity. For the unsure woman who's trying to "buff a rough patch" on her boyfriend, this book helps.
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Format: Paperback
This book was written for women who are unhappy about one or more things that the authors refer to as impossible character kinks (ICKs). The idea is determine whether it's worth trying to change the guy or dump him. The authors claim that it may be possible to change extremely bad behavior like cheating, which I don't buy. Maybe you can help your honey stop biting his fingernails but ultimately, if he doesn't want to change no amount of encouragement is going to make him change. The book was entertaining and had some good ideas but I disagree that you can change a guy if he doesn't want to change himself.
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