Most Helpful Customer Reviews
803 of 874 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Overdue and universally applicable, September 24, 2004
This book really isn't just for women, and it really isn't just about relationships. True, it focuses on empowering women to say "Hey, I'm worth more than this and I'm not going to settle" which is a wonderful thing to realize, but it really goes beyond relationships. We are conditioned to work hard (and, as an unfortunate side effect, suffer) for everything in life - jobs, material possessions, etc - and when love or money or other things we want don't come to us, it's easier emotionally to justify and/or make excuses as to why we're not getting what we feel we deserve when we want it. Whether it's the attention of a man (or woman) or a promotion at work, the power of this book is that it tells you in no uncertain terms that YOU are the only one who will suffer if you continue to cling to something that wasn't meant to be. The authors have really stumbled on to something good here - what I took away from this book and will continue to remember is that life is too short to pine for things that aren't meant to happen. Who knows how many great things pass us by because we're too busy worrying about getting something or someone that just wasn't meant to be. Read it and weep, if you must, but then also be glad that - if you apply what you've learned and make it your mantra - it's the last time you will cry over a love or aspiration unrealized.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
Was this review helpful to you? Yes
No
231 of 262 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Don't bother, November 19, 2004
Most of what the male author of this book states is common sense. E.g. "a cheating man is bad", "If he doesn't call you, ask you out, sleep with you, he isn't into you". However--I hold great contention in how absolute the author in his assessment of men. He presumes all men work the same, and that's just not true. In the book he gives an example of a girl dating a man who's just come out of a divorce. He's told her that he's not ready to get into a serious relationship right now because he just got out of one--makes complete sense. The author's assessment? "He's just not that into you". Are you kidding me? He says that if a man likes you, he will do what it takes to keep you in his life--he's knows a jewel when he sees one. So are you saying that the fact that he just came out of a broken wedlock couldn't possibly have left him with hesitations about entering into another long term relationship so soon regardless of the girl? Give me a break. The author also says that if a man wants you, he'll do whatever it takes to get you. I strongly disagree. Take a look at the (male) author of this book, he's a self-proclaimed "bad boy", who we may deduce was probably pretty cocky when it came to dating. I'm guessing (as per the "bad boy stereotypical formula") that he had no problems approaching and pursuing women. The thing is though Mr. Author-man, not all men are created the same. Some men are shy. Some men genuinely have baggage. Some men need a little encouragement because their last few attempts have falled flat. I agree that the male should do a lot of the pursuing, but I don't think the girl needs to sit back and allow herself to be led at the will of the guy. That's simply ridiculous. The black and white "If he doesn't do 'x', then he's not into you" is way too simplistic, and it's a mindset that could potential ruin a perfectly good relationship if followed. I do feel that some women make too many excuses for the way men treat them--and this book should shed light on them. However, I caution them to read with a grain of salt because not all men are of the type the author write about. I'm suspect when a non-expert writes so-called "expert" books. There's definitely something to be said having formal education training --you understand that humans are complex beings composed of many different experiences, emotions, and opinions that form the way they react in a relationship setting. My advice (and this is free!): Be yourself, relax, and don't try too hard to get someone to like you. Recognize the common sense warning signs, and never stay in a relationship that doesn't make you happy 95% of the time.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
Was this review helpful to you? Yes
No
106 of 118 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Ugh Me Tarzan You Jane, February 15, 2005
Are you kidding? Males start off complicated with the mixed messages they give females on the playground. You remember your mother's saying: "If he teases you Dear, that means he likes you." Meanwhile, you just want to give the offending little cad-in-training a sock in the eye! The title of this book in itself is insulting. The book itself is insulting to both sexes. It seems to view male female relationships in black and white, yin and yang, right and wrong, good and bad, like or dislike. Second of all, it is oversimplistic even in terms of men. The over all tone of this book goes back to that atavistic "Me Tarzan, You Jane" image of men and women and seems to paint men as 'rulers of the world' unhesitant and unquestioning. The position of the authors is that men say and do exactly what they mean. But if that were the case, then this book never would have had to be written in the first place. Obviously, if guys were that simple and their every action mirrored their inner motives then this book should have been entitled: "Men are aggravating, ever changing, manipulative cads who just want to see you squirm". Men question themselves all the time. They doubt themselves and they fear rejection. They too, like women, don't always know what they want. I've talked plenty of my shy guy friends into asking a woman they really liked out for a date. I have a guy friend who's quite the ladies' man, though not a cad, who got a call from a gorgeous girl he really liked. Yet he never returned her call because she made him nervous and he didn't know what to say to her. If a man gives a woman mixed messages, I think it's oversimplistic to say that he's not at all interested in her. In addition, I think it's unfair to say that his uninterested behavior negates his interested behavior. Don't get me wrong, I I'm not advocating hanging on to a man who's not giving a woman what she wants. That's for sure. I too have had men give me tons of mixed messages, calling me out of the blue and asking me out when I haven't even really thought of them in months and then acting completely nervous and disinterested on the date. And yes, I've stopped hoping after them. But when strange behavior like that is going on, I've got to think there's something more going on beneath the surface. It's nothing I could or should try to change or fix, nor should I hope to ever go out with that man again. But after the initial disappointment of having to let a man go, I find it beneficial, even even self-nurturing to appreciate the good and bad of the experience rather than make myself feel like a loser as I say goodbye to a man because "He's just not that into (me)." (even if he's the one who initiated the date in the first place.) Obviously there's something a man is interested in about you if he shows you interest just as there are things about you that disinterest him if he shows you disinterest. After all, if men are as simple as the authors of this book would like us to believe, then why would they feign interest and waste their time with us if they're not interested in us at all or are just going to turn around and change their minds about us later on? That makes just as little sense as women rejecting men for every little infraction on their part because "he's just not that into us." It's the 21st Century anyway and we all have issues and strange reasons for doing and not doing the things we do. Nobody is perfect and nobody will always give you what you want anyway. I feel this book is just another nod in the direction of glib, crazy-making, two minute pop-psycology that slaps sisters around with that dispassionate, 'get over it' Dr. Phil tough love that I find so annoying, oversimplified and abrasive.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
Was this review helpful to you? Yes
No
|
![[Start the discussion]](http://g-ecx.images-amazon.com/images/G/01/x-locale/communities/discussion_boards/start-new-discussion-sec._V192250339_.gif){kind=small}
