Customer Reviews

The Hidden Feelings of Motherhood: Coping with Stress, Depression, and Burnout

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The role of the mother in modern day time is honored throughout this book and it is written in a positive tone with the utmost respect for women and mothers. The author acknowledges both stay at home mothers and employed mothers without entering the "Mommy Wars" or even getting into a discussion of what she thinks is best (because she recognizes that what is best for each person is different and unique to that individual). The role of mother is have is not always an easy one. The difficulties, pressures, and stressors of the modern mother are outlined including some historical information about the role of the mother and technological changes regarding housework over the last couple of hundred years. The author contends that each of us is in control of our lives and how we choose to react to these stressors is up to us. By becoming aware of the various things that can make our lives miserable, we can pick and choose which things we want to do or not do or how we react to things, so that life is manageable for us and we can lead happy lives. The author explains that if stress builds up burnout and depression can occur.

This book is not negative in tone. It provides good information to orient the mother as to why there is good reason for feeling overwhelmed with all that she has to do. I have not read any book on this subject that has this focus, this unique attitude of holding motherhood as an important role and providing ideas for how mother can remain sane and happy in her role. This is not like some books that basically have the tone that as a stay at home mother we should feel privileged and not have anything to complain about. The author also does not blame the mother for lifestyle choices she makes and then saying it is her fault. This book applies to all mothers, not just mothers of babies. The author is not judgmental about parenting choices and as an example, portrays breastfeeding in a positive light and mentions cosleeping as fine if that is what works best for your family.

Here is a listing of what is covered in the order of the chapters: stress, what it is; depression, recognizing it, how to get treatment, treatment options; burnout, what it is, recognizing it, how to avoid it. History of the housewife in America, how we arrived where we're at, are our jobs easier now that we have modern appliances? Working outside the home, why mothers might want to combine work and motherhood, making it manageable, making the decision to work. How to lightening housework to a manageable level, sharing duties with spouse and children, organizing the household so it runs smoothly. Sleep deprivation, what it is and how it affects our bodies and mental state. Adult survivors of childhood abuse: physical, verbal, sexual and how it affects the parent, including how it may affect breastfeeding and general mothering issues. The added stress of living with a "spirited" child (such as ADD/ADHD), the special stress of living with a child with medical problems. Dealing with miscarriage, stillbirth, or death of infant, the effects these have on the mother (even if society doesn't fully recognize this type of mourning or stress). The Epilogue gives hope for the future and tips for making things best for you as an individual.

Each chapter has an extensive listing of books and some websites on the various subjects covered in that chapter. The book appears well researched with a long reference research list. Overall it is very easy to read and interesting. It has helped me not feel as guilty for feeling overwhelmed at times. I think every mother would gain something from reading this. It is nice to see that someone realizes how hard the job of mothering is and understands that the role can cause stress, burnout and even depression in even the most capable and intelligent woman.

While reading this book many thoughts went through my mind. But the one thought that would not leave me is that I wish this book had been around when I was raising my children. Now that I have finished reading it both my daughter and my daughter-in-law will be receiving a copy from me. I am a grandmother who has been there and done that (or at least most of it) and found this book to be helpful in explaining why I may have done some of the things that I did or felt when my children were still at home. Ms.Kendall-Tackett has covered every aspect of motherhood in her book. Reading this book was easy and very informative. I love that she has also included many resources and web sites for the reader . As a woman, wife, mother and grandmother, I highly recommend this wonderful book.

As a new mother, this book helped me understand some of the issues I grapple with. The section on identifying burn-out was especially valuable. The book wasn't quite as prescriptive as I would have liked -- not as many suggestions on how to prevent or heal the issues raised. But I still found it a very worthwhile read.

Dr. Kendall-Tackett's book provides an excellent articulation of the
various difficulties faced by mothers. The book succinctly explains
current academic knowledge and makes it relevant to the lived
experiences of mothers in today's families. Written in a truly caring
tone, the book does an outstanding job of placing the reader at ease
about challenges they may face as mothers and offers a wide array of
highly effective solutions. Written primarily for mothers, this book
also provides men with useful insights into the difficulties faced by
their mothers, wives, sisters and friends, and so can help them to both
sympathize and effect changes to help the mothers in their lives.