Customer Reviews

The Hidden Gifts of the Introverted Child: Helping Your Child Thrive in an Extroverted World

5 star:		(7)
4 star:		(4)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

As an innie, I appreciate any resources that help others to understand the different learning styles and needs that introverts have from extroverts. I don't need a scientific explanation of why I am different, but do need to be understood for who I am. I am pleased to see that one of the reviewers found this valuable both as a parent and as a teacher. I wish more teachers would be open-minded toward our differences, and accepting of the different needs of different children. Too often children are expected to fit into one mold, and if they don't then they are labeled as difficult or uncooperative (or learning disabled).

My first reaction was, I'm _not_ going to like this book. The title seems too pop-psychology and the whole "hidden gifts" thing... anyway, my snap judgment was that this would be a cheesy book.

Boy, am I glad I was wrong.

America is an extroverted country. Nearly 75% of the people you have met are extraverts - they get energized by getting it done, getting going, getting together. Zoom zoom zoom. Certainly our media is set up that way, and our success stories are full of it. So, ... 75% of the kids you have met are naturally inclined to do well in the zoom zoom culture.

That leaves out 25% of the kids you have met, kids who cherish simplicity and deep relationships, and who do not go with the fast-paced flow. Introversion is normal - it is not a problem to be corrected, just like we don't try to change a child's left- or right-handedness.

These kids may seem spacey or dreamy, and sometimes they are overlooked by the world. They need lots of downtime to recharge their batteries. For these kids, being in school is like being a rubberband. It's a stretch for them to get on a crowded schoolbus, then getting started on their day in a classroom full of kids is even more of a stretch. All day, they are surrounded by people, stretching, stretching. They are *far* out of their comfort zone, and sometimes, that rubberband snaps.

Their teachers say that they have trouble with social skills, or they may get fixated on one topic or one friend to the exclusion of the others. The teacher may suspect a psychological problem, like ADD. These children may complain of being sleepy, or they may just give up in the middle of the day, completely out of energy. But they are not difficult or diseased or disturbed. They are performing an unpleasant task - spending all their energy with no time to relax.

Most classrooms are extroverted classrooms, with lots going on and a strictly-enforced fast pace.

This book gave me a handle on introverted children and how to approach them, how to recognize and encourage them, and how to offer them the quiet time and orderliness they crave. It's written to equip parents with a toolbox for teaching coping skills to their introverted kids.

My favorite idea in the book was... introverted kids are like contented trees. Trees dig those roots in deep sigh with the wind. Children like to have roots, too. Orderliness and predictable patterns give them that rootedness. That, and your love and acceptance!

As an introverted person, this is a very valid book detailing the characteristics of an introvert. I have gone through many of the situations decribed in this book. A must buy if you know someone with this personality. A++++ Book.

I bought this book to help understand my 10 year old daughter, who is an "innie". It has helped me understand her and my "innie" husband. It also made me realize you can't "convert" an "innie" to an "outie", and now I wouldn't even want to. The book helped me realize that being an "innie" is ok, even wonderful, in our "outie" world.

This a wonderful book! I feel that it has a great mix of scientific as well as real-life wisdom. Our 4 yr old son is very introverted and it was often hard for us to help him handle social situations. His personality can be hard to figure sometimes and this book is wonderful at describing the internal workings of an introverted child - and how to help them thrive. I am often referencing this book to help teachers, friends and family to understand his unique personality. I am reading this book for the second time...this time with a highlighter in hand to mark the many points that I often tell others about.

As an extroverted parent, I was nervous when my son showed signs of being an introvert. I was worried that he wouldn't survive in our extroverted society. Even though my son is 9 mos. old, this book helped me understand and appreciate him. I don't believe the author's main point to this book is to scientifically explain the introverted child. I think it is to explain how to help facilitate our child's world so that it helps them be "them."

I can already see a difference in how my son reacts to me and the world. He is overall happier because I take the time to understand him. I am a teacher and it also helps me take another look at how I relate to my innie students.

If you are confused about your child's quiet behavior, I would definitely recommend this book to you!

BTW, I like that the author uses the term "innie" and "outie."

I got this book to better understand my daughter who was 14 at the time. She took the book away from me to read it. I kept hearing "this is ME!" and "look, mom, this is why I am this way." She felt reassured that she was normal and is embracing her strengths. She has been happier with herself and is interacting with other teens and adults much better; she has "come out of her shell". I highly recommend this book to introverted preteen/teens and their parents. It really describes the introverted traits well and the questionnaire is helpful. MJM

As an "outie" mom with an "innie" son, I feel like this book is a God-send. WORTHY EVERY PENNY!!! I have learned so much about introverts that I never knew and definitely never truly stopped to appreciate. My son was labeled as "shy" as a toddler. While it was a convenient label teachers and adults (including me), it is and was completely inaccurate. The insight that Dr. L shares convicted me, but will help me parent my "innie" the way he needs to be parented. It was like completing a course in a foreign language. After reading it, I feel like I have not only a greater appreciation for my son, but the other "innies" out there who add depth, sensitivity, and a softness that this "in your face" world need. It should be required reading for all teachers, pediatricians, and psychologists -- but most importantly "outies" like me who have been blessed with an "innie" in their lives.

I picked this book up after reading her other book "The Introvert Advantage". Because I am married to one and I am raising one, I thought it was important to understand the introvert. What a dramatic difference in our relationships. Now I understand introvert is not synonomous with shy. I am raising a very social introvert. Now I know what I can do to help my introverts regain their energy and take on the world.
Just because we extroverts are the majority doesn't mean introverts should take a back seat.

This book has been extremely helpful to me. It was recommended to me by my 8yr old son's reading specialist. I would highly recommend it for any parent - I've got 3 children - 2 more introverted and 1 much more extroverted and it really help explain their differences in tempermant.