Customer Reviews

Hiding in Hip Hop: On the Down Low in the Entertainment Industry--from Music to Hollywood

5 star:		(18)
4 star:		(11)
3 star:		(12)
2 star:		(9)
1 star:		(8)

 

 

Hiding in Hip Hop: Confessions of a Down Low Brother in the Entertainment Industry by Terrance Dean is an intimate account of the author's experience as an undercover brother. As a child, Dean was forced to cope with issues surrounding drugs, abandonment, AIDS, and molestation. As an adult, those issues still plagued him, but he was able to add sexuality to his list of problems. His fulfillment in having sex with other men would not have been so huge had he not been a part of the entertainment business. But because he was flooded with images of masculinity and saw how the rich and famous treated those who were openly gay, he contrived an artificial existence as a heterosexual man ultimately hiding in Hip Hop.

Dean was not the typical down-low guy though. In actuality, he loathed the way some down-low men lied to their women. He also was not too keen on playing second fiddle to men who wanted to have their cake and eat it too. Dean wanted much more. He wanted real love. And he wanted to know how he could attain that love and still be accepted in a business that was all about images and facades. Through his desires to love freely, dealing with his estranged family, and attempting to find a way to overcome his conflict with his sexual preference, Dean started Men's Empowerment where he invited his peers to discuss the stressors that came with celebrity and/or power. Men's Empowerment became a seed flourishing into other groups that helped communities in New York and ultimately helped Dean do some serious soul searching.

Hiding is Hip Hop was a decent read. It garnered so much attention that by the time I read it, I was so intrigued by the celebrities Dean was not naming and almost missed the point of his book. He did an excellent job of protecting the innocent, as I was unable to positively identify anyone he described, but I had tons of fun trying to figure them out. Because he used fictitious names, and so many of them, I often lost track of who was who and why they mattered. There were a few name glitches complete with misspellings and the timeline was a bit off. Sometimes, I could not tell what time period he was speaking of, but it may have been to protect celebrity's anonymity. Overall, Hiding in Hip Hop is an entertaining read if you enjoy playing guessing games. Readers who like memoirs and stories that delve into the struggles of human nature would also find this story fulfilling.

Reviewed by Darnetta Frazier
APOOO BookClub

I am glad Terrance Dean didn't name names. At first I thought that it was a ploy to sell books or for legal reasons. Once reading I realize that if he would have named names then he would have been a sell-out. It would have been out of character for someone in his situation.

The book detailed the struggles of a bisexual African American man working in a highly publicized industry. I was shocked at most of what I read about the "down low brothers" but not entirely surprised considering the nature of the book.

The riddles are not entirely easy to figure out. I think I immediately knew who one of the people, Ella (I think that was her psuedo-name), was. Otherwise I think the descriptions hides the identities of the people involved very well. And really...I DON'T want to know who everyone is. T.M.I. for sure.

This book was a fast read. Not something I would reread but definitely sheds some light on a sensitive situation.

i was anxiously awaiting the release of this book and i was thrilled when amazon received it early. once i began reading this book, i was shocked to discover that he used monikers instead of giving actual names. i really wanted to know the names of the gay rappers and other allegedly gay entertainers that the media speculates about. altogether, this was an enjoyable read because he spares no details when it comes to his life. this book would've been a 5 star had the timeline not been all over the place and he would have given out the actual names of his lovers and the other men and women who were part of his downlow circle.
3.5 stars

I heard about this book from Publisher's Weekly last year and have been in a mild state of anticipation ever since.

I read this book in a day and a half and I must say that I enjoyed every second. I, like many others, was able to guess several of the names and have now gone back through it to figure out the rest. I am happy to see someone finally write about the 'down low' men and women in the entertainmaent industry because we know it exists. Am I surprised about any of the people 'mentioned' in the book? Absolutely not! But I live and let live.

Aside from the outings, Terrance gives the readers an in depth look into his life, from his drug-addicted mother, the sexual abuse he experienced at the hands of a family friend and above all else, his journey to self-acceptance. I was thoroughly moved by Terrance's candor and impressed with his ability to turn his aspirations into successes.

You, Me and He

Whew!! Just finished the book. I loved it and hated it--just like Terrance felt about the gay or down-low life. On one page he can't wait to get his hands on a guy, and on the next page he's self loathing in agony. One moment he's praising God and attending church, and on the next page he's drinking and doing drugs like there's no tomorrow. In one chapter he can't stand his mother and resents her, and then when she dies he's devastated. I couldn't keep up with him. An emotional roller coaster, if such was even the case. I think this book was written to be dramatical. I've never read about a guy that would supposedly get sick to his stomach when going into a gay bar--but then half an hour later was taking the best looking guy in the place home with him. Fortunately, he FINALLY in the last pages comes to terms with his homosexuality, admits it, and goes happily into the sunset.

He also makes it seem like the music industry and in particular the hip hop world is FULL of down-low men, which could be true, I do not know. There seems to be a lot of stepping over the sexual boundaries these days. I don't see how he got any work done, but I also don't see how all these supposed down-low guys were able to stay so down-low if they were always going to parties. Wouldn't somebody talk or spill the beans somewhere along the way?? I think he told it all the way he wanted to tell it. Which is more than anyone else has done---so I really did like the book. It excited me with all his conquests, just wished it had been a little bit meatier. But then they all wouldn't be down-low. And with all that sex, he never once mentioned getting a STD which you know HAD to have happened. Terrance never did say whether he enjoyed it all, but I think he did. His will power was pretty non existant, bless his heart.

An incredibly accurate portrayal of the industry. Those who make a living in hip hop know that it may only be surpassed by the closeted gay men in the entertainment industry of the Black churches. The book is truly an eye-opener to those who thought their "macho ganstas" were all that.

Yes, yes, yes, I know. This is supposed to be a serious book about a gay man's struggle to accept his sexuality, and love himself for who he is.

And it is that.

But I'm not going to lie, I bought it to find out which ones of these so-called gangsta hip hop stars is really homo. Be honest! Isn't that why you want to read it?

There are a few names mentioned in the book, but it's mostly descriptions of the stars -- so thinly veiled you can guess who the author is talking about. I'm not a real for real hip-hop fan, but even I was able to guess four or five. And let me say (are you ready for this?), if I'm guessing correctly, one of the people mentioned played a large part in Karrin Steffans' book, Confessions of a Video Vixen!

Can you believe it?

I do!

I'm not going to spoil it by posting my guesses, because 90 percent of the enjoyment of the book is figuring it out for yourselves. But another rapper mentioned is tatooed, and always rags on homos in his raps. Yep, yep, yep!

I heard that the author is supposed to be on the Wendy Williams show on May 13th, and I can't wait!

Like most people, I went into this book more excited about celebrity dirt. As you'll quickly discover, this is a book about a man's life, a true memoir. Yes, there's a little bit of sex here and there, and some celebrity references, but at the end of the day, this is a memoir about a man's search for identity and salvation.

Terrance Dean receives an A+ for his brutally honest portrait of his real life insecurities, confusion and loneliness, making this book so worth reading. So much more than which celebrities are doing what, this book really brings to light the fight or flight mentality so many black gay men endure every day in every part of this country, just to survive.

How I wish this book had existed 20 years ago.

I had gone into this book trying not to judge someone else's truth. I was preparing myself for the usual rumors and innuendo that have followed celebs throughout their careers but I was searching for more of an explanation of the method to the madness. I appreciated Mr. Dean's honesty pertaining to his life and upbringing, as it is always interesting to delve into a person's psyche.

I thought this book would be more about the author's experiences pertaining to business and his down low profile opposed to his social activities. Did these artist create stumbling blocks for him or his friends if they did not comply? I viewed a lot of it as more of a glorification of notches in his belt. Everyone was super attractive, every one in layman's term "could get it". The whole time there were excuses made for the promiscuous behavior. I think Mr. Dean was more so going along with the flow at first.

I wanted to read more about his life, it was basically some trials and tribulation, then the next chapter would go into some unadulterated sex that basically got redundant after a while. The chapters about his life as a youth were compelling and could have carried 95% of the book.

Then there were the chapters of the industry parties that were basically full blown orgies. I felt like the chapters about his early life and those written about the lewd world of Hollywood were so different in contrast in the writing style. Everything was down low and secret desires, I think I read that at least a million times as someone pointed out in an earlier review.

Overall, it was brave of him to tell his story. Everyone should be allowed to tell his/her story. Some of the alleged down low people, it was so much to figure them out and then he named names later in the book anyway, not on purpose I suppose.
If this book were a movie it would be rated X not giving much room for the more important story, his discrimation that he faced, his struggles, and his self worth. I wanted to read more of that. The downlow celeb sex could have been summed up in one chapter seriously.

Delivering exactly what its description suggests "a provocative and honest look at stardom and sexuality," Terrence Dean's Hiding in Hip Hop turned out to be a great read - in fact a book that I couldn't seem to put down.

Coming after a line of several `tell-all' books from the `Video Vixen,' Karrine Steffans and Carmen Bryan's `It's No Secret,' Terrence Dean's book seemed to fulfill the Hip-Hop afficionado's wildest dream - the outing of those they thought were `questionable' but sadly for those who only picked up the book to get names they aren't revealed. For those who actually read tell-all's with an open mind and interest in getting inside the authors head like myself it was much more of a delight.

While most people have dismissed the book as nothing more than a chance to air `dirty laundry' with the hope of financial gain, I learned quickly that Dean's story behind the glitz and glamor of Hollywood or even the men he encounters is that of many African American or ethnic men who are damned by society if their true being is revealed.

Detailing his struggle at an early age, in terms of coming to terms with his sexuality and the unfortunate destruction left in the wake of AIDS in his family, Terrence Dean admits that he did not want to disappoint his Grandmother. In fact, it is Dean's relationship with Grandma Pearl that is most touching in this story because we all have a Grandma Pearl - gay or straight, black, white, yellow, beige or whatever color, there's a Grandma Pearl in your life. Her words live in the back of your mind when you're contemplating doing something you shouldn't; when you're down at your lowest point; or even when you've reached the success that she told you could because ...she loved you and that's all that mattered.

While it seems Grandma Pearl is often his backbone, Dean offers up the truthful and often taboo subject of gay black men ostracizing themselves from family, friends and co-workers due to their sexuality, especially (as is the case in this novel) when you have a bible toting auntie or uncle who damn everyone to hell who steps outside of the quote "perfect" Christian lifestyle.

For those of us who enjoy salacious and daring stories of intimacy, Terrence Dean leaves no stone unturned when it comes to his adventures with both Hollywood and the Music industry's elite ranging from a hot bodied model to a hip hop star that arranged rendevous with Dean for weeks while escorting his girlfriend out the door. Of course the ultimate in scandal, is Dean's sexual encounter with a man of the cloth who dared to invite him (after having sex) to his church !

Whether you're quote "okay" with his lifestyle or not, Hiding in Hip Hop is a book that needs to be read in order to understand where a lot of men are coming from and where we as a society can go. If nothing else you have to ask yourself.... why do I care so much whether this brother or sister is gay or straight, especially since I'm partaking in that TV show, CD or Movie they were a part of ?