Customer Reviews

The Highly Sensitive Child: Helping Our Children Thrive When the World Overwhelms Them

5 star:		(26)
4 star:		(9)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

It was wonderful to read this book. For seven years I've been looking for someone to understand when I talk about my daughter's agony over the seams in her socks, her inability to eat in Italian restaurants because of the strong smell, her discomfort with the volume of sound in movies or the way she always gets homesick (literally ill) if we go on a vacation that lasts more than a couple of days. As someone who never thought twice about any of those things, I appreciate Aron's insights and her suggestions about parenting someone who is so easily overwhelmed. I originally got the book from the library but had to buy my own copy because there was something I wanted ot underline or make a note to remember on almost every page.

For five years I have been trying to describe my son to his teachers, other parents, and even to our family. I've struggled with words like, "shy," "quiet," "introverted," "cognitive," and -- the worst one -- "a bit of a loner." None of these captured him. Others have called him "unique," "gentle," "an intellect," "not a joiner." I was insulted by all these labels. But Aron's book finally gave me the right words! My son is an HSC --simple as that. And this book helped me understand this as a wonderful thing, requiring some understanding and accomodations. Aron provides some great suggestions for helping your HSC, and helps parents discover ways to advocate for their HSC in the schools. After reading this book, I bought a copy for my son's teacher and highlighted the relevant sections. She told me this morning that it "shed new light on a perplexing situation." She understands. As a clinical psychologist and as a mother, I highly recommend this book. If nothing else, it will help you and your child "normalize" your experiences. Why only 4 stars? The only downfall of this book is that Aron back-pedals too much. She too often describes the exceptions to every rule, and at times you might feel that she is unsure of her own definitions. But, ultimately, if this is your child, you will recognize him/her right away. And the suggestions in this book will help.

I purchased this book, hoping to learn more about my 8-year old child's behavior traits so that I could commingle our characteristics and avoid damaging his spirit when I criticize or discipline-not to pamper but to nurture. This book did just that, plus more. The Highly Sensitive Child : Helping Our Children Thrive When the World Overwhelms Them is a very good read. It provides a lot of information about how highly-sensitive people react to certain stimuli and suggestions for different situations. It's educational and entertaining and the author's prose is straightforward. I selected this book from the many others on similar topics simply because the title hit home. It struck a cord and I knew this was it. I was right.

Not only was I reading about my child, I discovered that I am an HSP as well. I was not aware of the term "highly sensitive" until now. I plan to read more on the subject and keep this book around for my child to use later on in life. I now feel that we are in a win-win position for the long term.

Thank you, Dr. Elaine Aron, for writing this book and for sharing your personal experience on this subject.

It's not ADD, not social anxiety disorder. My child is not deficient but different, a minority not as yet recognized or understood. This book is practical, having short chapters for different age groups with lists of tips. When my child has to go into a social situation, I review the list of how to prepare her for dealing with the situation working from her mix of feelings.
The book also gives the positive aspects of this personality trait, something I never realized since I was focused on the problems. Also gives tips for finding good teachers and working with teachers to promote your child's success.

From the start I knew a had a higher maintenance kid than my friends' kids (lots of high highs and low lows & very fussy and picky and extremely aware of everything that is going on around her) - but I was always in denial of it - until I read this book. This book is a godsend to our family. Me, my husband and my child are all happier people after reading this book. We've purchased a copy to give to the teachers at school. I am so grateful for this book. A load of stress has been eliminated from our lives.

When a therapist friend suggested we read this book to help out our struggling 8 year old, we never knew that it would be such a perfect fit, provide such helpful information and provide us with a lot of comfort. If your normally bright child seems frequently overwhelmed and it's beginning to hurt their self esteem, turn to this book and see if it fits. If it does, its a resource you will be thankful you found, as will your child.

I didn't know whether to treat my daughter with "tough love," telling her to buck up and get over it, or whether to allow her to continue with her "sensitivities," gently treating her with compassion and patience. This book explained her temperament with accuracy and researched knowledge. The author provides extremely helpful and practical advice on the way to treat, support, encourage, discipline, and think like my daughter. I am grateful for this book--it's enhanced our relationship and our family. Also, I've learned that I also was a highly sensitive child, so my husband and I can better understand me, too.

The concept of high sensitivity as an extreme normal trait is one that certainly needs addressing. There were many aha! moments in this book as I read it, both for my son and myself. The descriptions of HSC and the challenges they may face are the strengths of this book. However, the book falls short when offering advice on how to help these children. First, I was put off by the author's dismissal of Occupational Therapy and Sensory Integration Therapy. She seems to believe that that it is a method of pathologizing the normal trait of high sensitivity. Sensitivity, like any other trait, exists on a continuum and, on the more extreme ends of that continuum, may interfere with a child's ability to function and be happy. An OT's services can be extremely helpful in this case, and the author should not dismiss them so quickly. Second, the author's repetition of "always put the child's needs first" resulted in advice that seemed out of balance and incomplete. Of course parents should consider a child's temperament when considering discipline, education, etc., and I would greatly appreciate a book that teaches me this. The more I read this book, however, the more I felt I was being told to create a highly controlled bubble environment for my child. It seems there should be a balance between accepting and celebrating a child's sensitivities and helping that child learn to not be overwhelmed by his or her sensitivities and function in the world. This book did not seem to strike that balance.

This book was recommended to me by a Highly Sensitive Mom and I am forever grateful for her recommendation! This book shifted the way I parented, and helped me to let go of "the norm" and not push my child to far to fast. I have applied her ideas and techniques and now have a HIGHLY CONTENT child. This book probably saved us years of confusion/problems. I know have identified my own high sensitivity and am taking better care of myself as a by-product. If you can't understand why you kid wants to go somewhere new, but clings like a reese monkey to yoru side, read this book!

Wow! What a great relief to find a book that so clearly describes my child. It had been scary for me to think that my child was different and to doubt myself - wondering if my parenting was making my child cry more or cling more.

This book was great for us to help us let go of the stereotypes of what our child "should" be doing - and to really appreciate the amazing qualities that our child has. We've changed our outlook in many parenting situations. Our son has become more confident in many arenas as a result. We now recognize the internal struggle he goes through when he is weighing the risks involved with every, single activity that he embarks upon. And we have found ways to build his confidence.

Highlights of the book for me were: 1. recognizing the challenges of having a highly sensitive BOY. There is a definite role that boys are expected to fill in society and it's not that of the sensitive, shy person... 2. Recognizing that my son's actual senses are part of his sensitivity and increase when he is overwhelmed. For example: the bath water feels too hot, the tags in his clothing bother him more, sunlight bothers his eyes, etc. 3. The author's explanation for why a sensitive child shuts down (for those of you who have read the book, the "oranges" description) really helped me to understand how to avoid overwhelming my child with too many stimuli.

I wish this author were available for personal child behavior counseling. I'd love to speak with her in greater depth.

I loved the book and have bought copies for family members and teachers. If your child fits the description (it is fairly obvious if they do), this is a great resource to have.