Aron details the positive and negative sides to such relationships, including how the HSP benefits, how both members of the relationship benefit, the typical challenges that arise, and solutions to those challenges. For instance, a relationship made up of two HSPs may engender low levels of arousal, or awareness, which means that both of you will avoid doing the same things that make you uncomfortable, such as shopping, dealing with conflict, and being in crowds. Solution? Simplify your life, see if you can hire someone to take care of the tasks neither of you wants to do--but don't forget that doing such tasks is also a way to grow personally--and divvy up the tasks according to preference. As for conflict, Aron says that having a plan of action is the best route--decide how to handle conflict in the relationship before the conflict flares up. Another reality of an HSP-HSP union is that neither person will be able to max out on work and expect to have a decent home life, so at least one of you will have to limit activities. So, plan not to have more than one child if you both work (it may be too late for some couples to put this one into action; if so, Aron advises that one parent stay at home).
Throughout the book, Aron stresses that being in a relationship is a "package deal"; neither the HSP nor the non-HSP is perfect, so she urges readers to appreciate the positive aspects of their sensitivity, be it highly sensitive or not, and not to dwell on its drawbacks. But she does urge HSPs who are unhappy with their trait to work on coming to terms with it--through inner work, counseling, or medication if needed--as its qualities, when properly appreciated, can be life enhancing and beneficial to HSPs as well as to their relationship partners. --Stefanie Durbin --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.
Elaine Aron goes into even more detail about the trait of High Sensitivity, particularly how childhood trauma and difficulty can affect an HSP.
I read this book without having previously done any research on the concept of 'highly sensitive' and found it was very clear to understand and relate to.
I understand myself better now and I think her work (because I'm planning on reading her other books) will really help me live the way I want to.
An excellent sequel to the HSP, which I had read twice over the years. This book really explains the challenges and joys of being an HSP in love, whether or not your partner is an... Read morePublished 2 months ago by NDB
I finally feel like I'm understood by someone. And the best thing of all, is the author has HSP also. So things are not from another person's perspective, but from hers. Read morePublished 2 months ago by zoe
Good book it would be even better is my wife read the book it's all about herPublished 3 months ago by William F. Steinmetz
I took a test online that would tell me if I was a highly sensitive person because my husband often told me I was. Read morePublished 4 months ago by Robyn Elam
Personally I thoroughly enjoy the "Highly Sensitive Person" series of books as it has helped me learn to deal with many of the issues I have dealt with as an HSP. Read morePublished 4 months ago by rocknpoetrychik