Customer Reviews

Da Hip Hop Witch

5 star:		(19)
4 star:		(5)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(20)

 

 

I'm shocked that anyone would give this piece of junk a positive review. It's easily the worst movie I've seen all year. Most of it consists of rappers mugging endlessly into the camera, talking about their frightening experiences with da hip hop witch. Eminem (who tried unsuccessfully to have his scenes removed from the film) talks for what seems like twenty minutes about the witch trying to anally probe him. This is amusing in the most embarrassing way possible, but isn't nearly as funny as it sounds. The production values are barely above those of a home movie, the acting (particularly by the five white kids who travel to New York to find the witch) is atrocious, and as a parody of the "Blair Witch Project" it completely fails. There are about two genuinely funny jokes in the entire thing. The surprise ending is pathetic. Co-produced by Vanilla Ice, who hasn't been involved in anything good in his entire career. This bites.

the worst movie ever made. the person that made this fat sack of crap should be voted the worst director ever, not edward d. wood, jr.

i want to build a time machine, go back to when this abomination was being concocted and eliminate them.

and to all the rappers that appeared in this, you have lost maad respect - so im pirating your music to make up for the $3 i spent to rent this, plus intrest for wasting my time.

i cant beleive artisan (the same studio that released blair witch) is actually distributing this ...

dont be fooled by other user review for this dvd. they are all biased reviews submitted by its "filmmakers". this is plainly and painfully obvious once you see this awful mess.

first of all, dont be fooled by the cover of the dvd. the original release of the dvd did not have eminem on the cover for a good reason. the story of the dvd has nothing to do with eminem, and its false advertising to have him on the cover. obviously they're trying to cash in on his fame with the redesigned cover. pathetic.

to give you an idea of how awful this movie is, eminem got into legal battles with its producers because he was so ashamed of being involved in it, he wanted any footage containing him to be edited out. and i dont blame him.

there is more false advertising. there is no acting by any of the rappers listed on the box.. all they did was tape several famous rappers saying how bad and evil the hip hop witch is. each rapper has a screen time of maybe 2 minutes to 3 minutes.. then the cut back to the storyline of a bunch of suburban kids getting lost in NYC. which is poorly edited by the way. let me reiterate, that the rappers listed on the cover of the dvd arent involved with the plot, or the storyline. its god awful..
not to mention there is no real storyline in this movie. its just a vehicle for showcasing a bunch of rappers talking about a non-existent witch. you can even see the disgust in their faces as they talk about it, but getting paid is getting paid isnt it? the storyline has no continuity, no climax, no ending. i repeat it has NO ENDING. no conclusion, no protagonist, or antognist.

steer clear of this disaster.

This movie redefines the words "awful" and "horrific!" As a publicity stunt, all the rappers (and Vitamin C) on a label claim to be attacked by a "hip-hop witch." 95% of this movie is name dropping by rappers explaining what the witch looks like and what she did to them (explanations vary between a bad weave, to six-foot-long hairy nails).

I particularly enjoyed Eminem's epic tale of survival as he explained (in depth) how he "courted" the witch and "got it on" with her, only to end up with her finger up his... ummm...

3% of this movie revolves around the "4 crackers and a pug" who attempt to foul up the plot of the record company. This goes nowhere and makes no sense.

The other 2% surrounds the actual plot (oh no, I said a dirty word). Every time a rapper gets attacked, his record sales go up. Everything is fine until rappers (like the Street Don) start turning up dead. It turns out that someone is using the hoax to their advantage (or to gain leverage).

Even for a spoof this is bad. Stay away like it had the clap! The ending is not very predictable, which was a plus. However, it leaves you feeling like you were attacked by Vanilla Ice...

This movie was horrible. It was filmed as part documentary, part lame movie. A bad story line, (5 white people try to find a witch that targets rappers) accompanied by poor acting (if you're gonna pretend you saw something, at least make it sound believable! Who smiles when telling you that someone was trying to kill them? Ja Rule that's who.) makes this the worst movie I've ever seen. Eminem did an okay job during his interview, but that is the only upside to this movie. I hope they paid him a lot to put him on the cover. If you want to see a good movie about rappers, check out Jay-Z's "State Property", or "State Property 2". They aren't the best movies I've ever seen, but are leagues above this low budget bomb.

I was so exited when I heard about that movie, I wasted the more silly 18 € (it's like 23 U.S. $) in my life. You don't know how boring is this movie. I only wanted to see the end of that, and then, surprise! It's the worst end I've ever seen! I was looking to the clock every minute. Don't think it is a comedy. This is nothing.

The movie has no story line, and is not funny. The only good parts are the ones with Eminem. The camera angles are bad, The acting is worse. If i were you i would skip to my next choice for a movie.

First of all to all you Eminem Fans- he has about 5 minutes total on screen. Wasnt as funny as I thought it would be. But for the $ it cost me I will not complain much more. I was however expecting more of Eminem.

Who is responsible for this monstrocity? This film is atrocious. I have watched porn with better acting and scripts than this. It basically consists of a handful of bug eyed rappers with varying levels of credibility jumping around in front of a hand held camera as if they were told to pretend they're on crack. And while theoretically that sounds kinda entertaining,it's not. The only worthwhile moments in the entire film come from eminem, who turns out a lengthy, improvised rant on his horrific run in with the 'hip hop witch'. I have no idea what the motivation was behind the making of this film, but whoever is responsible should hang their head in shame. I cannot stress enough how much of a waste of time it is. You would have more fun eating your own vomit.

I gotta give it for this li'l movie people. This was low budget, this was done hand held, this was done with non actors and a slew of drunk and high rappers, this had a complex albeit confusing story line....BUT it was funny, it kept my head moving, it moved fast and it had probably the best all around rapper cast films in all of film history AND it was (from what I read) done for a few grand. AMAZING! This should be in every classic hip hop cinema collector's library as well as every indie film collector's library on it's indie film merit!!!