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Comment: This book has already been loved by someone else. It MIGHT have some wear and tear on the edges, have some markings in it, or be an ex-library book. Over-all itâ?TMs still a good book at a great price! (if it is supposed to contain a CD or access code, that may be missing)
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His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage Hardcover


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His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage + The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts
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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 240 pages
  • Publisher: Revell; Rev Exp edition (February 1, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0800719387
  • ISBN-13: 978-0800719388
  • Product Dimensions: 9.2 x 6.4 x 0.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (258 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,559 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From the Inside Flap

The Best Book on Marriage Is Better Than Ever!

In this classic bestseller Willard F. Harley, Jr., identifies the ten most vital needs of men and women and shows husbands and wives how to satisfy those needs in their spouses. He provides guidance for becoming irresistible to your spouse and for loving more creatively and sensitively, thereby eliminating the problems that often lead to extramarital affairs.

This revised and expanded edition has been updated throughout and includes new writing that highlights the special significance of intimate emotional needs in marriage.

From the Back Cover

What will it take to make your marriage sizzle?

Time after time, His Needs, Her Needs has topped the charts as the best marriage book available. More than any other, this book helps husbands and wives give each other what they need most in marriage.

The millions of couples who have read His Needs, Her Needs have learned to keep the romance alive, and they are recommending it to others. Join those who have seen spectacular changes in their marriages by following Dr. Harley's tried and proven counsel. You will discover that an outstanding marriage can be more than a dream--it can be your reality.

What couples are saying about His Needs, Her Needs:

"My new husband and I were having trouble adjusting to marriage. I read the book and immediately things began to improve."

"It is the best book on marriage I have ever read."

"I have recommended this book to every one of my friends. It should become a staple in every house."

"I can't believe how peaceful and loving our marriage has become since reading this book. We went from being at the brink of divorce to experiencing the same love and excitement as when we first met."

Millions have already discovered the power of this book. Isn't it time you did as well?

More About the Author

Dr. Willard F. Harley, Jr., is a clinical psychologist and marriage counselor in White Bear Lake, Minnesota. He is best known as the author of His Needs, Her Needs; Love Busters; Five Steps to Romantic Love; and Give and Take.

Amazon Author Rankbeta 

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#97 in Books > Self-Help
#97 in Books > Self-Help

Customer Reviews

That said, the book is easy to read and very informative.
Colonel Mustard
They are fantastic books that were great to read together and I think they really helped us by helping us be better prepared for marriage.
Elite BodyWorks
After reading Dr. Harley's book I sure wish someone could have given this to us 4 years ago when we got married.
Belinda Stone

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

20 of 20 people found the following review helpful By Jzapper on May 4, 2013
Format: Hardcover
I read this book about 10 years ago. I remember the first few chapters being amazing because both my husband and I fit exactly with the needs as described. My brother and his wife are going through lots of issues and I decided to see if I could find it here on amazon. I saw it had some one star reviews and twos, and wanted to see what they were given for, because I enjoyed it so much more than that.
I will say, I can see a lot of the points given in those one star reviews. It was written in a different time, true. However.....I didn't get from it what a lot of these people did. For one some saw this as stating that a man was the one who would stray and they were sex driven. Half of that is true, sex is one of the mans top 5 needs. But it did NOT make it sound as if only the man would stray. It isn't even stating that the there will definitely be affairs. Its a helpful insight to help prevent those thoughts. If you just look at the top 5 needs of the woman, and the top 5 needs of the man and think they fit both you and your spouse, then this book can help if you are having issues or had issues and trying to understand or move past them.
You also have to have the 'traditional' sense of family, which you most likely will if the needs fit with your needs.
His needs:............................Her needs:
1. Sexual fulfillment.................1. Affection

2. Recreational companionship.........2. Conversation

3. An attractive spouse...............3. Honesty and openness

4. Domestic support...................4. Financial support

5. Admiration.........................5. Family commitment

So even reading this list you can see its based on the very basic roles of man and woman.
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48 of 54 people found the following review helpful By Aaron M. Marcelli on April 24, 2012
Format: Hardcover
His Needs Her Needs is a book that was recommended to me by a pastor. I did not know what to expect from the book but found a lot of the contend helpful.

The entire premise is that you need to safeguard your marriage from an affair. Harley argues that the best way to do this is for each spouse to meet the five essential needs of their partner. He also accurately points out the the top five needs of men are quite different from the top five needs of women. From the conflict my wife and I have had in the past I agree that the needs of husbands and wives are different and I would also agree with Harley's assessment of what the top five needs of women are. I'm not so sure his top five needs of men thesis is air tight.

Much of what he has to say is also based on his self-created premise of the idea of "Love Bank." He says that the reason people love each other is because throughout the course of dating and knowing each other they begin to meet some of each others needs, therefore making "deposits" into each others love bank. We then carry around a balance of love points for each other than are our main source in determining how we feel about our partner (or anyone else for that matter). I think there are things to learn from this theory but I do not believe it is as foundational or all-explaining as the author assumes. He makes the claim that even in long periods of absence our love banks for the most part remain at the balance they were when we were last with the other person. I don't think such is always the case.

The book's outline rotates between the needs of men and the needs of women with each chapter rotating between the two partners and addressing a specific need.
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28 of 33 people found the following review helpful By GatoRat on May 8, 2012
Format: Paperback
The value of this book is the questionnaire. Reading the book helps you understand the typical (though by no means ALL) men and women and helps put the topics of the questionnaire in context. Limiting yourself and your partner to the needs listed, even if you don't entirely agree with them, gets you both on the same page and becomes a catalyst for honest discussion. Even discussing HOW you disagree with a specific need is revealing (startlingly so for me.)

My only real complaint is that several of the anecdotes the author uses are absurd and others are just pointless. Were it up to me, I'd edit the book down by at least a third. I've suggested to others to read the first few pages of each chapter to understand what is meant by each need, skip the stories, and then fill out the questionnaire twice. First go through it as fast as you can, wait a day, read what you wrote, throw it away, do a lot of thinking then do the questionnaire again (it's available online as a PDF.) I suggest NOT using custom needs; they tend to be trivial, lack a mutual context and end up leading you back to the he said/she said arguments where a lot is said and nothing understood, let alone resolved.

On a personal note, this book didn't save my marriage, but did save me. It helped me understand myself in ways nothing else had. It helped me understand that my needs weren't selfish, ways I wasn't being the best husband and how dysfunctional my marriage had become. It helped with post divorce counseling due largely to what my ex and I had revealed in the questionnaires and subsequent discussions. Most importantly, without understanding my needs, I probably would have charged into a new relationship just as destructive as the one I'd left.
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