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History of a Suicide: My Sister's Unfinished Life [Hardcover]

Jill Bialosky
4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (31 customer reviews)

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Book Description

February 15, 2011
“It is so nice to be happy. It always gives me a good feeling to see other people happy. . . . It is so easy to achieve.” —Kim’s journal entry, May 3, 1988

On the night of April 15, 1990, Jill Bialosky’s twenty-one-year-old sister Kim came home from a bar in downtown Cleveland. She argued with her boyfriend on the phone. Then she took her mother’s car keys, went into the garage, closed the garage door. She climbed into the car, turned on the ignition, and fell asleep. Her body was found the next morning by the neighborhood boy her mother hired to cut the grass.

Those are the simple facts, but the act of suicide is anything but simple. For twenty years, Bialosky has lived with the grief, guilt, questions, and confusion unleashed by Kim’s suicide. Now, in a remarkable work of literary nonfiction, she re-creates with unsparing honesty her sister’s inner life, the events and emotions that led her to take her life on this particular night. In doing so, she opens a window on the nature of suicide itself, our own reactions and responses to it—especially the impact a suicide has on those who remain behind.

Combining Kim’s diaries with family history and memoir, drawing on the works of doctors and psychologists as well as writers from Melville and Dickinson to Sylvia Plath and Wallace Stevens, Bialosky gives us a stunning exploration of human fragility and strength. She juxtaposes the story of Kim’s death with the challenges of becoming a mother and her own exuberant experience of raising a son. This is a book that explores all aspects of our familial relationships—between mothers and sons, fathers and daughters—but particularly the tender and enduring bonds between sisters.

History of a Suicide brings a crucial and all too rarely discussed subject out of the shadows, and in doing so gives readers the courage to face their own losses, no matter what those may be. This searing and compassionate work reminds us of the preciousness of life and of the ways in which those we love are inextricably bound to us.


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Editorial Reviews

From Booklist

The unexpected loss of a sibling is always shattering, but when suicide is the cause, grief is rendered more complicated and haunting. The death of novelist, poet, and editor Bialosky�s much younger sister, Kim, at age 21 in 1990 was one grim loss among many. Bialosky was 2 when her father died; Kim�s father and Bialosky�s stepfather abandoned the family when Kim was 3. Their mother suffered chronic depression, and Kim was both neglected and abused. The trauma of Kim�s suicide was compounded by Bialosky�s loss of two babies at birth. When her and her husband�s adopted son reached adolescence, Bialosky realized she had to confront the wrenching facts and persistent mysteries of Kim�s life and death. The result is a strikingly lucid, smart, and elegant investigative family history grounded in research into the act of self-annihilation and illuminated by literary forays. Bialosky�s mantra is The more I know, the more I can bear. Her courageous anatomy of family secrets and tragedies, pain and guilt provides extraordinarily valiant and resonant testimony to the healing powers of truth and empathy. --Donna Seaman

Review

“Valiant and eloquent…Bialosky’s thoughtful book elucidates the complexity of suicide.” ­­­­

Washington Post Book World

“A searing elegy…this memoir reads like butter and cuts like a knife.”

People (4 star review)

"A tender, absorbing, and deeply moving memoir...[Bialosky] writes so gracefully and bravely that what you're left with in the end is an overwhelming sense of love."

Entertainment Weekly

“Extraordinarily useful...a source of solace and understanding…. [Bialosky’s] hand is always skillful, as attentive to the rhythms of storytelling as to conveying emotion.”

Time

“A profound and lyrical investigation…Bialosky writes sensitively and beautifully.” ­­­­

New York Magazine

“Brave and beautifully crafted.”

The Daily Beast

"An extraordinarily valiant and resonant testimony to the healing powers of truth and empathy.”

—Booklist

“A beautifully composed, deeply reflective work.”

Publishers Weekly

“In quietly piercing language, [Bialosky] delivers a sure sense of a 'beautiful girl' who took her own life at age 21 and of what it means to grieve such a death, burdened with an awful sense of responsibility that can’t easily be shared with others.”

Library Journal

“This is the kind of book that can teach us—all of us—about what it means to be a thinking, feeling human being. A book, in other words, that will teach you how to live.”

—Darin Strauss, author of Half a Life


Product Details

  • Hardcover: 272 pages
  • Publisher: Atria Books; 1ST edition (February 15, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1439101930
  • ISBN-13: 978-1439101933
  • Product Dimensions: 8.7 x 5.8 x 1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (31 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #580,393 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
26 of 29 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars A well-written but painful book February 22, 2011
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase
Jill Bialosky mentions in this book that she would like to provide a legacy for her sister, Kim, and she delivers in this exploration of the most difficult question we face when we lose young people whom we love: WHY? The story is narrative that flips back and forth through time and employs Kim's diaries and compositions to examine how Kim came to the irrevocable decision to take her own life in 1990 at the age of 21.

The writing in this book comes straight from the author's heart. She elaborates on how her sister's suicide forever changed their entire family and how she herself has managed, with varying degrees of success, to keep her survivor's guilt at bay. Bialosky also discusses some of the additional heart-wrenching losses that she suffered after her sister died and how they have impacted her as a mother and wife. She also employs literature (Plath, Melville) and scientific examinations of suicide to help her relate with human beings through history who have given this area a great deal of thought. I will be honest and say that I found the entire book to be terribly difficult to read due its searing emotional content. I am very lucky in that I have not suffered a loss like Bialosky has. I am not sure I would be able to cope and survive as she has.

Because I have not experienced something like this, I find it difficult to guess how those who have would react to this book, and I leave that to other reviewers who have been through it. But to a reader who has not been directly affected, this book explores a lot about human nature, psychology, and survivorship to make it well worth a read. Just keep a box of tissue nearby, and be prepared for some deep introspection.
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21 of 26 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A Must-Read for Sibling-Loss Survivors February 14, 2011
Format:Hardcover
As a sibling-loss survivor, I have spent years looking for memoirs that address the particular type of grief we endure. There haven't been many. Jill Bialosky has written a beautiful, powerful memoir of sibling loss that I hope all survivors will read. I loved this book. Jill shares with us the story of her beloved sister, her death, and the long search to discover why events happened the way they did. Jill is so honest, so open, and unsparing in describing her experience of loss and grief. I embraced this book for the honesty within it. What sibling-loss survivor who lives with questions hasn't wanted to search for the truth? Jill has undertaken this task in "History of A Suicide" and I applaud her bravery and thank her for sharing her grief journey with us. Truly, a must read for all sibling-loss survivors.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
As a long time admirer of Jill Bialosky's poetry, I was intrigued to learn she'd written a memoir on her sister's suicide. Having just had a close family member survive an extremely serious suicide attempt, I had to read this.

Knowing Bialosky to be an academic, I was not surprised to learn she searched through literary texts as well as current research in a search for an answer the eternal question Why? Anyone who has experienced a loved one's suicide or attempted suicide is simply haunted by this question. Having dealt too often in my life with suicide and attempts by family members and friends, I found Bialosky's final conclusion on the question of why to be the only one possible in far too many cases: some wander away and never make it back.

I believe the book would have been better if most of the poetry and literary quotations had been left out. However, I did like the somewhat journal-like style of the book as I think it's the only way a person in pain can really write about the subject she's written about here.

What I can't believe is that this book would have PR placement in entertainment magazines of any type. This is not a misery memoir, nor is it just a book about another drug abuser crashing and dying. This is an extremely well written, literary, heartfelt attempt to understand why her sister killed herself and what is told about her sister was enough for me to gain an understanding of who she was. No, the book isn't really ultimately about the suicide victim as much as it is about the author's efforts and struggles to understand, so I think maybe a different title would've better served readers in their decisions to read the book or not.

I don't mean to go against the grain with my review. I can undertand many of the reasons people have for not liking the book. Still, I loved this book and found it very helpful and insightful in my own struggle to understand why. I believe it took a great deal of courage to write this book and even more to publish. My hat's off to Bialosky for doing so.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars Not simple
Not simply a psychological exploration into the mind and meaning behind taking one's life or the grief that that follows in its aftermath but an eloquent blend of poetry, personal... Read more
Published 2 months ago by Morgan M. Fleming
4.0 out of 5 stars thank you.
i've lost many friends to suicide as well as a twin sister. this book helped me heal greatly to move on past things relating to suicide and my friends. Read more
Published 3 months ago by Marcia J. Thompson
4.0 out of 5 stars Difficult but worth the read
Jill's younger sister Kim committed suicide at the young age of 21. Jill has spent years trying to not only cope with her loss, but also make sense of her sister's decision. Read more
Published 8 months ago by Tiffany A. Harkleroad
5.0 out of 5 stars HISTORY OF A SUICIDE (GMTA REVIEW)
Book Title: "History of a Suicide"
Author: Jill Bialosky
Published By: Atria
Age Recommended: 18+
Reviewed By: Kitty Bullard
Raven Rating: 5... Read more
Published 9 months ago by GMTA Publishing
4.0 out of 5 stars insightful and helpful
As a survivor of suicide, I was compelled to read the author's account of her own pain and survival. Read more
Published 14 months ago by tec1986
4.0 out of 5 stars Poignant Memoir
Bialosky uses the diaries and letters of her younger sister, Kim, to tell the story of Kim's life and death. Read more
Published 18 months ago by Debnance at Readerbuzz
5.0 out of 5 stars Courageous and Compelling
History of a Suicide: my sister's unfinished life by Jill Bialosky is a compassionate yet discomforting memoir. Read more
Published 21 months ago by Lynn C. Tolson
1.0 out of 5 stars I definitely don't understand the hype
Another reviewer described the book as a "jumbled journal" and I feel that described it very well. It is a self-indulgent, poorly edited tome which straddles the line between... Read more
Published 21 months ago by Angela Copeland
3.0 out of 5 stars History of a Suicide: My Sisters Unfinished Life
This book is an interesting example of a suicide autopsy. However, the best it can do is use accepted theories of suicide and therefore, in the end, falls short of giving an... Read more
Published 21 months ago by Federico S. Sanchez
5.0 out of 5 stars A Beautiful Testament
I just finished and wanted to thank Jill for her excellent book, History of a Suicide. As the niece of an aunt (my dad's youngest sister) who committed suicide in 1978, a grandson... Read more
Published 23 months ago by Arnie Goldman
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