Hold It 'Til It Hurts [Paperback]

T. Geronimo Johnson (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: August 28, 2012

Finalist for the 2013 PEN/Faulkner Award

"The magnificence of Hold It 'Til It Hurts is not only in the prose and the story but also in the book's great big beating heart. These complex and compelling characters and the wizardry of Johnson's storytelling will dazzle and move you from first page to last. Novels don't teach us how to live but Hold It 'Til It Hurts will make you hush and wonder."—Anthony Swofford, author of Jarhead

"This rich and sophisticated first novel brings together pleasures rarely found in one book: Hold It 'Til It Hurts is a novel about war that goes in search of passionate love, a dreamy thriller, a sprawling mystery, a classical quest for a lost brother in which the shadowy quarry is clearly the seeker’s own self, and a meditation on family and racial identity that makes its forerunners in American fiction look innocent by comparison."—Jaimy Gordon, National Book Award winner for Lord of Misrule

When Achilles Conroy and his brother Troy return from a tour of duty in Afghanistan, their white mother presents them with the key to their past: envelopes containing details about their respective birth parents. After Troy disappears, Achilles—always his brother’s keeper—embarks on a harrowing journey in search of Troy, an experience that will change him forever.

Heartbreaking, intimate, and at times disturbing, Hold It ’Til It Hurts is a modern-day odyssey through war, adventure, disaster, and love, and explores how people who do not define themselves by race make sense of a world that does.

T. Geronimo Johnson was born in New Orleans, Louisiana. His fiction and poetry have appeared in Best New American Voices, Indiana Review, Los Angeles Review of Books, and Illuminations, among others. A graduate of the Iowa Writers' Workshop and a former Stegner Fellow at Stanford University, Johnson teaches writing at the University of California-Berkeley. Hold It 'Til It Hurts is his first book.

Editorial Reviews

From Booklist

In this intense debut novel, New Orleans native Johnson richly details the story of adopted brothers Achilles and Troy Conroy, twentysomething black soldiers who have recently returned from Afghanistan to find that their father has died. Their white mother presents them with envelopes containing their birth parents’ information, and Troy soon disappears. Achilles, who has always regarded himself as his brother’s protector, takes off after him in a months-long quest that sees him traveling from New Orleans to Atlanta. Along the way, he falls in love with the rich do-gooder Ines Delesseppes, is tortured by harrowing memories of his tours in “Goddamnistan,” and sifts his pain and guilt over his mixed racial identity. While Hurricane Katrina batters New Orleans, Achilles receives devastating news about his brother’s fate. Johnson tells both a love story and a quest story while unleashing pointed social critiques, all the while taking readers into the turmoil of an ex-soldier seeking to reconcile his own conflicting emotions about war, family, and race. An impressive debut from a writer to watch. --Joanne Wilkinson

Review

The Times-Picayune, "Top 10 Books of 2012 for fans of New Orleans--and Louisiana--set tales"

HTMLGiant "11 Favorite Small Press Reads of 2012"

"[A] powerful, stylish debut novel . . . The stark backstory fleshing out Achilles and Troy's arduous combat duty over in 'Goddamnistan' smartly plays off the thorough exploration of modern American attitudes on race, war, and family."—Publishers Weekly

"The magnificence of Hold it 'Til it Hurts is not only in the prose and the story but also in the book's great big beating heart. These complex and compelling characters and the wizardry of Johnson's storytelling will dazzle and move you from first page to last. Novels don't teach us how to live but Hold it 'Til It Hurts will make you hush and wonder." —Anthony Swofford, author of Jarhead

"Hold It 'Til It Hurts is the kind of impressive debut that marks its author, T. Geronimo Johnson, as a writer with a career that bears watching."—Stuart Dybek

"Hold It 'Til It Hurts is a novel about war that goes in search of passionate love, a dreamy thriller, a sprawling mystery, a classical quest for a lost brother in which the shadowy quarry is clearly the seeker's own self, and a meditation on family and racial identity that makes its forerunners in American fiction look innocent by comparison."—Jaimy Gordon, National Book Award Winner of Lord of Misrule

"T. Geronimo Johnson's Hold It 'Til It Hurts is a dazzling first novel about the power of pain and the strength of love....This novel raises--and answers--big questions, even as it maps the tough lives of men in cities under harrowing stress."-Gambit

"[T]he novel is an epic in its own right, spanning continents, generations, and social and moral issues. In the end it's about family: the one you're born into; the family you create throughout your lifetime; and the larger family of human beings all living in the same crazy world."-East Bay Express

"Johnson is bringing the news here, rendering beautifully the pleasures (silverware in drawers instead of bins) and pitfalls (guilty liberals at the bar) facing soldiers at home....Johnson tells this story with what must be a tremendously emphatic imagination, one that will serve him well in all his books to come."-The Star Tribune

"Hold It 'Til It Hurts was a brave book to write." -Room 220: New Orleans Book and Literary News

"Even as Johnson takes us on this odyssey through wartime America and an eventually devastated New Orleans, his ability to precisely describe the depths of a young man inoculated against both love and violence shocks us, again and again." —ZYZZYVA

"While Johnson's language is consistently stark, straight-forward, and deceptively simple, it manages to deftly capture Achilles— a decided anti-hero— as well as the modern American psyche and all the conflicts that go with it."—KGB Bar Lit Magazine

"There's a lot happening in this novel by a 2004-06 Stegner fellow, and not the least of it a sympathetic (and deliberately Homeric) portrayal of returning soldiers and a clear-eyed look at how race and privilege complicate so much of American experience."—STANFORD Magazine

"Geronimo. . .explor[es] the complexities of interracial adoption and the unbreakable bonds between brothers. I was deeply moved by Hold It 'Til It Hurts, and impressed by the ambition of the novel."—The Rumpus, Roxanne Gay's Reading Roundup

"Johnson, a native of New Orleans and a former Stegner Fellow, uses the aftermath of the hurricane to thaw out Achilles and help him forge some sense of identity."—The Christian Science Monitor

"Hold It 'Til It Hurts is a smartly-written and stylish meditation on family, love, masculinity, race and self-identity in modern-day society."—The Newark Journal

"Johnson's touching first novel is rigorously detailed."—Library Journal, "African American Perspectives"

"Hold It 'Til It Hurts is more about love and redemption than race or war. The bond that connects Achilles to his brother, Troy, is magnificently drawn, the depth of emotion unforgettable. And the surprises in the plotting herald the beginning of an impressive literary career."—CounterPunch

"Johnson...clearly did his research, nailing the postwar struggle for soldiers now forever imbued with the instinct to strike first. Afghanistan is really just a backdrop for the wars on the homefront, and the big questions raised by race and identity crash into one another just as Hurricane Katrina bears down on New Orleans."—Time, "Winter Reading"


"Johnson, a New Orleans native, achieves his ambitions in a debut novel that we praised for its 'lively prose, crisp dialog and a story that sends and African-American combat vet on a search for his adoptive sibling in post-Katrina New Orleans."—The Times-Picayune


"What is most striking about the work is the haunting quality of Johnson's realism, which is capable of great sensuality and great coldness in the same paragraph, and can hold the intensity of memory at the same timbre of the present moment in a single sentence."—Zing Magazine


“Hold It ’Til It Hurts demands deep engagement and is a worthy addition to recent fiction about our twenty-first-century wars. . . . This is a vivid and provocative novel.”—TriQuarterly Review

“Johnson’s writing left me constantly pushing towards the next plot-twist, not just at the ends of chapters, but at the end of every paragraph. . . . It’s this anxiety-ridden, and sometimes heart-wrenching, prose that grasps the attention of readers and holds it through the end of the novel.”—Hazel & Wren

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 340 pages
• Publisher: Coffee House Press; Original edition (August 28, 2012)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1566893097
• ISBN-13: 978-1566893091
• Product Dimensions: 6.2 x 1 x 8.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (10 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #400,275 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Visit him at www.geronimo1.com or on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/iamgeronimo.

Born in New Orleans, T. Geronimo Johnson received his MFA from the Writers' Workshop and his M.A. in Language, Literacy, and Culture from U.C. Berkeley. He has taught writing or held fellowships--including a Stegner Fellowship and an Iowa Arts Fellowship--at ASU, Iowa, Berkeley, Western Michigan University and Stanford. He is also a curriculum designer and director of the U.C. Berkeley Summer Creative Writing Program. His fiction and poetry have appeared in Best New American Voices, the Indiana Review, the LA Review, and Illuminations, among others. He has worked on, at, or in brokerages, kitchens, construction sites, phone rooms, education non-profits, writing centers, summer camps, ladies shoe stores, nightclubs, law firms, offset print shops, and San Quentin. He is a Niroga certified yoga instructor and trained rally driver. His novel Hold it 'til it Hurts is an SF Chronicle recommended book and was selected as a PEN/Faulkner finalist.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Magnificently human story about flawed humanity September 22, 2012

By Neil Taylor

Format:Paperback

The themes of this novel are intertwined around the main character Achilles Conroy as he deals with the death of his adopted father, a search for his younger adopted brother who fled the family home, creating a new life in New Orleans, coming to terms with his tour of duty in Afghanistan (Goddamistan),and the aftermath of Hurricane Kartrina. Self-realization and self-denial ebb and flow for Achilles as he struggles to make sense of the actions and motivations of himself and others.

With a deft touch, the author explores how one's sense of self is defined and shaped both internally and by external forces. Achilles and his adoptive brother Troy are raised by white parents in a small Pennsylvania town - growing up, race is not really an issue for them, but their expanded horizons and viewpoints come from time serving in Afghanistan when 9/11 spurs them to join up, and in Achilles' case more so when he moves to New Orleans in search of Troy after their father's death. The cohesion of the combat unit, with the confusion and unnatural situations they encounter and create, and the mentality needed to survive in a war zone, also form key elements of the story. Flashbacks to scenes from Achilles' time there, and his relationships when he reunites with his former unit members after serving give insights into the rationalizations made when under fire and constant threats of attack. Factors that shape minds and actions are laid out without judgment or hyperbole.

It is in Nola that he is awakened to the complexities of race and all that involves being forced on him, and the realizations he has when he experiences first-hand how society is structured to view him as a threat when the system falls apart in the dark days after Hurricane Katrina wreaks havoc on New Orleans.... This is a story about vulnerability, honesty, relationships, fear, conditional and unconditional love, and loss.

It's not often that a novel will choke me up and insinuate itself into my consciousness, causing me to question my own motivations and confront my own fears. T. Geronimo Johnson writes skillfully and causes the reader to face the realities of a schizophrenic society that demands so much of certain groups while also demanding that they remain subjugated. The nightmarish scenarios in the immediate aftermath of Katrina laid this bare for many Americans for the first time - the inhuman treatment of survivors kept corralled around the convention center and trapped on bridges and seeming abandonment of them to a horrific fate. Johnson uses a light touch to portray how someone from outside that group is nevertheless included in it when coming into contact with authority figures trying to keep order. This is not a novel about race and it IS a novel about race. It's about the divisions created by society that are forced on people; the character of a black male growing up in a white family who only has to deal with race in any serious way once he reaches adulthood enables the questioning of these societal structures in subtle ways.

Everyone will get something different from this novel. You will be moved and stimulated; you will have questions. I was captivated, emotional, thrilled, horrified, and thoroughly engaged throughout. My must-read recommendation of 2012. Read more ›

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Held January 21, 2013

By smt

Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase

Hold it Til it Hurts caught me off guard. After hearing snippets of it read, I expected to read about the detached coldness that would come with returning from service. What surprised me was the sheer level of heart the book contained and how painfully human it was. It was nothing so one-sided as what I'd expected, choosing rather to examine the infinite complexity of the relationships we form and maintain. Johnson's command of language only serves to propel the reader through a story that aches to be heard; to prove that it itself happened. Can't recommend it enough.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent riveting story October 22, 2012

By doublecheck

Format:Paperback

This book held my attention from the very beginning. I enjoyed all the sub plots and not only was it a gripping "read way past midnight" story it was also informative about many diverse issues: mixed-race relationships, adoption, PTSD, Hurricane Katrina, family ties. I could not put it down. If you are looking for a Book Club selection this should be on your list as it will definitely generate a lively discussion.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Hold it till it hurts October 2, 2012

By Jeremiah Sims

Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase

The author is truly a wordsmith; the pages come alive through metaphor, symbolism,and, through the carefully curated mise-en-scene. I highly recommend this novel.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars What a journey! Do yourself a favor and reed this book. October 1, 2012

By ParisBrad

Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase

I loved this book. T. Geronimo Johnson creates character complexity like a painter by using strokes of backstory, flashback and subtle yet impactful statements that provide remarkable amounts of detail. After reading the first chapter I was amazed about how much I knew about the characters. I didn't know then how deep Johnson would take me. He delves into the manifold ways of defining a family, the horrors of war, the impact on those who fight them and those who stay home, and the ongoing class and racial conflicts happening in America.

Johnson clearly enjoys surprising his readers and uses twists to keep them engaged and the plot flowing. He employs the occasional glint of humour to keep the dark topics that he explores sufficiently lit. Like Michael Ondaatje, Johnson is a master of creating profound phrasing. He does this, however, without Ondaatje's pretentiousness.

I cannot recommend this book enough. I travel to work every day on a Parisian commuter train. This book made me miss my stop and by the time I noticed and got back on track I was half an hour late for work. I sheepishly crept into the office with a smile.

2 of 3 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A heart as big as New Orleans! December 20, 2012

By Seth Harwood

Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase

T. Geronimo Johnson's HiTiH is a beautiful book, full of rich language and the story of a man honestly confronting with life at the edge of apocalypse in the 21st Century -- namely the double destructions of Desert Storm and Katrina-ravaged New Orleans. His push to find himself and to find love is the heart of this book, a heart as big as the disasters Johnson tries to name. The language is rich and takes its time. You might need a while to get used to the book's pace and search, but once you have you'll be rewarded!

5.0 out of 5 stars Interesting novel June 7, 2013

By michelle zaleski

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

I really loved the book....its a story about 2 adopted brothers...African American boys with white parents...they are adults and I don't want to give away the story ....it kept me wanting to read on and find out what happening to the characters...you will definitely enjoy !!

5.0 out of 5 stars Great Story May 15, 2013

By Reina Contreras

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

What a great story to read! At first I was not too excited but thought I should give it a try, especially that it is not in the type of genre of my favorite books, but after the 2nd chapter, I was captivated like a fly to a lightbulb! Amazing, heartfelt story, easy to read yet challanging. The plot is very well thought out that with every chapter you read, you want to know more and more. I'm definitely a fan and can't wait for his 2nd book to come out.