Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love [Hardcover]

Sue Johnson (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 8, 2008

Heralded by the New York Times and Time magazine as the couple therapy with the highest rate of success, Emotionally Focused Therapy works because it views the love relationship as an attachment bond. This idea, once controversial, is now supported by science, and has become widely popular among therapists around the world.

In Hold me Tight, Dr. Sue Johnson presents Emotionally Focused Therapy to the general public for the first time. Johnson teaches that the way to save and enrich a relationship is to reestablish safe emotional connection and preserve the attachment bond. With this in mind, she focuses on key moments in a relationship-from Recognizing the Demon Dialogue to Revisiting a Rocky Moment-and uses them as touchpoints for seven healing conversations. Through case studies from her practice, illuminating advice, and practical exercises, couples will learn how to nurture their relationships and ensure a lifetime of love.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"A much needed message to all couples and therapists and I recommend it to all." (author of Getting the Love You Want and Receiving Love Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. )

"At last, a road map through Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy with its creator. Dr. Johnson's superb science, humor, and clinical wisdom are finally accessible to all of us. I couldn't pick a smarter, warmer, and more real guide for this journey." (bestselling author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work and coauthor of And Baby Makes Three John Gottman, Ph.D. )

"There's something appealing about this book's honest, no-holds-barred approach. By creating complete emotional safety and by willing to be fearless about it, it seems to me, not only can real love be kept alive, it can flourish" (Boston Globe )

Sue Johnson [is] the most original contributor to couples therapy to come along in the last 30 years. This book will touch your heart, stimulate your mind, and give you practical strategies for improving your marriage. It will be an instant classic. (author of Take Back Your Marriage William J. Doherty, Ph.D. )

Wonderful!...Hold Me Tight blends the best in research findings with practical suggestions from a caring and compassionate clinician. This fabulous book will be of great benefit...to couples trying to find their way to better communication and deeper, more fulfilling ways of being with each other. Bravo! (author of Parenting from the Inside Out Daniel J. Siegel, M.D. )

A truly revolutionary, breakthrough book... the most important, valuable book for couples published in the 21st century. (author of Getting It Right the First Time Barry McCarthy, Ph.D. )

About the Author

Dr. Sue Johnson is a clinical psychologist and Distinguished Research Professor at Alliant International University in San Diego, CA. The developer of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy, she is a recognized leader in the new science of relationships. Dr. Johnson is the author of numerous books and articles, and she has trained thousands of therapists in North America and around the world. She lives in Ottawa, Canada. For more information on Dr. Sue Johnson and Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy, visit www.eft.ca and www.holdmetight.com.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 320 pages
• Publisher: Little, Brown and Company; 1 edition (April 8, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 031611300X
• ISBN-13: 978-0316113007
• Product Dimensions: 6.2 x 1 x 9.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.4 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (82 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,103 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #15 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Relationships > Marriage
  • #16 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Relationships > Love & Romance
  • #21 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Relationships > Interpersonal Relations

More About the Author

Dr. Sue Johnson is a clinical psychologist and Distinguished Research Professor at Alliant International University in San Diego, CA. The primary developer of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy, she is a recognized leader in the new science of relationships. Dr. Johnson is the author of numerous books and articles, and she has trained thousands of therapists in North America and around the world. She lives in Ottawa, Canada. For more information on Dr. Sue Johnson and Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy, visit www.iceeft.com and www.holdmetight.com.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

106 of 109 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Take it from a couple's counselor - this book is a gem!, May 7, 2008

By 

Shari Levine (Portland, Oregon) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love (Hardcover)

Hold Me Tight teaches couples how to hear their partner's deepest concerns, "are you there for me", "am I really important to you", "is our relationship secure and solid" when those concerns are expressed through criticism or content. It reminds partner's that all communications are attempts to connect, no matter how badly delivered. In this way, Susan Johnson teaches couples to read below the surface of a complaint down to the attachment need being expressed underneath. When attachment needs can be faced and processed directly, couples feel closer. Johnson offers couples in couples counseling an adjunctive support system in addition to the therapy hour. Hold Me Tight is also an excellent resource for couples working things out on their own. It provides a clear and solid guideline for repairing hurt and restoring connection. I am recommending it to the couples in my practice, and the reports coming back about how helpful and transformative Johnson's approach is have been glowing!

54 of 59 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars THE BEST RELATIONSHIP BOOK I'VE EVER READ!, April 9, 2008

By 

Jackie Keyser "Jackie" (Chicago, IL) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love (Hardcover)

I've read all the relationship books, even the ones by the authors whose quotes appear on this cover, and I can say with complete conviction that this is by far the best of the lot. Dr. Sue Johnson's warm, authoritative, and reassuring tone sets the stage for a whole lot of incredibly useful advice. The book gives you a new way to view your relationship and the tools to improve it, whether it needs improving or not! Her form of couples therapy is apparently one of the very few to be proven to work, and that's really the bottom line. Do yourself and your partner a big favor and buy this book! I highly recommend it.

36 of 39 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Some good points, May 21, 2008

By 

Dr. John Laughlin (Glenn Dale, MD) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love (Hardcover)

I would recommend anything Dr. Johnson writes as her emphasis on emotions and attachment is the best theoretical standard so far. Though this book is written for the public, I think it is a bit long winded in places and not clear enough in others. Some of the theory of attachment for adults and cases illustrations need beefing up: more examples as to how attachment problems evidence themselves in marriages and secondly, longer case presentations to give you a more complete feel of the application and techniques.

The best book to give couples in or out of therapy is John Gottman's The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert (Paperback). It is well organized, reader friendly, and a great teaching aide to couples therpy. It is itself a class in what makes marriages work.