Customer Reviews

Hold Still

5 star:		(28)
4 star:		(11)
3 star:		(5)
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1 star:		(2)

 

 

"And I knew you, pigtails and all. Girls when they fall..." Tori Amos

It seems appropriate to quote my favorite singer when reviewing Nina LaCour's debut novel HOLD STILL because music plays a healing role in the novel and LaCour's writing--like music--is lyrical and haunting. The characters that arise from LaCour's words pulse from the page not as echoes but as the very beat of themselves.

I love Caitlin's lines when she's listening to music in the middle of a dance floor at a wedding and says, "I just stood there with my eyes closed, feeling the movement of all the people around me, the vibration of the bass rise through the floor to my throat, while something inside me broke and came back together." Lines like these made me feel so close to the character. In fact, every character (and it is a WONDERFUL culturally diverse set of characters) feels so real and realized. Not some conceptualized rending of what some adults believe teenagers are and what teenagers think, hope, and feel. But real young adults whose stories are meaningful, full of love and full of trouble.

The trouble begins with Caitlin receiving devastating news that her best friend Ingrid has committed suicide. Caitlin is stunned, says at receiving the news, "My heart pounds so hard I can feel it in my ears." For the rest of the novel, we see Caitlin struggle with the memories of her friend while trying to build a new life.

Caitlin's struggles will focus readers on asking themselves some important questions: how well do we know our friends, the people who love us? Can we imagine our lives without friends? The answer will be different for every reader but the conclusion that I came to after reading this novel is that with our without the people we love, sometimes the hardest thing to do is to see ourselves with new eyes...as if we're seeing ourselves for the first time.

Caitlin struggles with seeing her life without Ingrid. She's alone. How can she let go when she never got a chance to say goodbye? Indeed, I think this novel challenges the reader to accept what we can and can't change. Caitlin hangs a photograph in her locker, which was taken by her deceased best friend, and she thinks, "It must be the most peaceful picture in the world. It's the setting of a fairy tale, it's somewhere that can't exist anymore."

And the novel goes on and we watch Caitlin through her recovery. The road isn't entirely smooth but through art and music, she discovers herself again; she discovers new friends, new love, new purpose. Finally, she learns to let go. I won't give too much away but the final scenes took my breath away. I cried in two distinct places of the novel but I don't think they need to be stated because part of the joy of reading this book is watching Caitlin arrive to that place of peace.

This is NOT a conventional novel about depression--and I mean that in a good way. Don't expect the pages to answer why some people get so depressed they can't rise out of it. Don't expect the novel to explain the symptoms of depression because they can often go unnoticed (as we see in the novel). Instead, the reader focuses on the lives of these characters and on the healing for the ones left behind Ingrid's suicide.

Focusing on their healing actually brings a wonderful quality to the book, presenting moments when the reader can breathe after tense scenes. Caitlin learns how to enjoy the small things: a good cup of coffee just to her liking, learning how to drive, hanging out in the city with friends. So yes--there are BIG PAYOFFS for making it through the sad parts of the novel. LaCour will not leave the reader broken. We are put back together and made whole--and hopeful.

I really can't say enough wonderful things about this book. I won't give any more of the story away because there's plenty more to talk about. I wasn't able to put it down once I started and I'm all the better for finishing this beautiful novel. Pick it up and let Caitlin's rebirth inspire you, too!

HOLD STILL is a beautifully written debut novel about a difficult subject. It will tear at your heart and leave you feel wiser, more fulfilled than when you started out.

Nina LaCour's novel is perhaps more effective than other books about suicide I've read because we are able to step out of Caitlin's head and instead also watch her interact with others. There is a great balance of internal and external dialogue. "Issues" books run the risk of being too "in the main character's head," and I appreciated that HOLD STILL shows us how friendship and love are an integral part of healing as well, alongside emotional acceptance and forgiveness.

The characters are a gentle and enjoyable lot, even if they are somewhat lacking in development. How do different people react differently to the loss of a loved one? One person's existence--and eventual death--means different things for different people, and I felt that HOLD STILL really impressed that satisfactorily. Everyone's reactions to Ingrid's death, and their way of dealing with their personal grief as well as the grief of their friends, were touching and believable.

If you're looking for a challenging but ultimately inspiring read, consider HOLD STILL. The book will linger with you long after you put it down. It is an exceptionally well done book about the aftermaths of suicide, and I look forward to what Nina LaCour has to offer us next.

Caitlin doesn't know how to go on, ever since her best friend Ingrid comitted suicide she feels lost and guilty. She torments herself with questions like: Could I have helped Ingrid and rescued her? Everyday life and high school feel strange and incomplete without Ingrid by her site.
Caitlin needs to learn anew to have fun in life and to not feel guilty for living. With the help of her parents, friends and a journal, that Ingrid left at Caitlin's place, she tries to understand why her best friend killed herself and to go on with her life.


I bought my copy of "Hold still" on a whim when I saw it in an online bookstore. I had just finished a great young adult book about loss & grief by Amy Kathleen Ryan (Shadow Falls) and was interested in more books with these themes. I was suprised by how perfect "Hold still" worked for me. I loved it even though it gave me a headache because it made me cry a lot.

Caitlin is an amazing character, I loved everything about her. The way she questioned her own behaviour was tormenting and I felt everything she felt. The strength that Caitlin showed at the end of the story was outstanding and I was fascinated by every step she took on her journey back to a "normal" life. I loved that Caitlin's parents were wonderful and helped her with her grief. Both her mom and dad were truly adorable and I especially liked her dad's way to bring some joy back into Caitlin's life. It's always nice and refreshing to read a young adult story with parents that are just as they should be.

The insight that sometimes you are powerless to help a loved person is always hard to accept. Caitlin asked herself some hard questions because of keeping quiet when she knew that something with Ingrid was not ok. There are no easy answers to these questions and I liked how Caitlin dealt with them in the end.

Ingrid's journal was full of heart-breaking messages and reading them was very emotional and disturbing. I could feel Ingrid's pain and self-doubt. In the end I could even understand some of her feelings and realized that the pain she lived with was hard to explain to other people. The way Nina LaCour portrayed Ingrid's depression and her boundless despair was very powerful and felt real.

"Hold Still" was a very emotional and gut-wrenching book and I would recommend it to all readers because it's so powerful, arresting and full of interesting and great characters. I loved that the author didn't shy away from showing the dark reality of depression and that she gave Caitlin time to deal with what happened.

cover
I like the paperback cover, the colours are nice and the motive looks interesting. However I think that the hardcover design fits better to the story.

final appraisal
"Hold still" is a very emotional book about loss, suicide and depression. To read how Caitlin went on with her life after her best friend died was arresting and to read how strong she became was wonderful. Make sure to have some tissues with you when you read the book.

This book is about how Caitlin, a sixteen year-old girl deals with the suicide of her best friend, Ingrid. Simple as that. But Caitlin's life now is not the same. She's having a hard time sleeping and coping with her best friend's death. Then she finds a journal under her bed that belonged to her friend and inside are the contents of things she'd rather not have known and things she had to know.

Hold Still starts in the summer when Ingrid's already dead. Caitlin is in denial because she never saw it coming. It's been already three months since her death and Caitlin's parents don't know what to do.

I would take this space here and tell you that I haven't read about parents that are as involved in the story as these ones were. It was something unique and it made it more realistic. Caitlin's relationship with her parents was a good one. Ain't that a shocker!

I could go on and throw facts and stuff but I won't. I don't know how to explain this book. I loved every second of it. I didn't want it to end. In fact, it was too short. I wanted more.

We meet some interesting people, like Dylan, a girl with an edge and Taylor, the guy that's the love interest. And Jayson, the guy Ingrid was crushing hard on. The whole story of how Ingrid's death affects Caitlin and Jayson is just painful to read. I wanted to hug Jayson.

And Ingrid. She had guts. From what we get to know about her, she was deep. She wanted to be a little crazy but she was suffering and she was always sad and she just couldn't take it anymore. But she never let it show.

I felt bad for Caitlin, with her feelings of regret and guilt. It thought me to say the things we want to say when we have the time and try to help when we see someone that's not doing okay.

The book was cool because it had Ingrid's journal entries in a handwriting format and doodles. The whole book is like art. Photography plays a big part on the book since both Ingrid and Caitlin loved it. I just wish they were included in the book instead of being described.

I felt the book was a little fast paced and rushed, but I don't know if it was because I was enjoying it too much. But apart from that, the book was super amazing. Just go and order the book because you won't regret it.

Usually, I know whether I'll like a book within the first one or two chapters. I don't know if it's the writing, the style, or the voice, but I usually just know. I kept changing my mind about this one, though. For me, it was really hard to get into the story. Caitlin seemed removed from what happened and didn't show any emotions. Had I not known what this book is about, I probably wouldn't even have understood that her friend committed suicide until later on. The fragmented sentences and scenes with no connections were confusing.

Later on, though, I understood what the author was doing. It was confusing not because the author or narrator sucked at explaining but because Nina LaCour used almost only showing and no telling, and that was really well done. In the beginning, the focus on practicalities and, for example, the way Caitlin destroys a bench and later on the fur in her car freaked me out, but later I understood that was her way of coping and she used that to hide her emotions. You have to interpret a lot, instead of everything being explained to you.

Once I started reading between the lines and (ironically) holding still every once in a while to take it all in, there was loads to love about this book. The way Caitlin dealt with her loss was realistic, and I enjoyed seeing how photography and art helped her. Her emotions and reactions were believable and relatable.

Not only Caitlin but every character was well-written, and I felt for each one of them. Despite never meeting Ingrid, I could understand what she was going through and could practically hear her voice through the diary entries. These entries were cleverly done, as the author managed to not let them become clichéd in any way. The letter-format (which I at first thought was kind of random and pointless) made these entries unique and heart-felt.

I loved Dylan's character and her friendship with Caitlin, which seemed realistic and natural. The gay sub-plot was well-handled - I enjoyed Caitlin's open curiosity about Dylan's sexuality. My favorite aspect of the novel was probably that hope played such an important role in this potentially depressing story, and Caitlin's decisions towards the end display that hope perfectly.

An aspect of the novel I didn't quite get was the relationship between Caitlin and Taylor. He didn't seem like the popular skater-boy he was supposed to be, and I didn't understand why Taylor was interested in Caitlin or how that developed. I also found it strange how Caitlin knew Ingrid cut herself but never said anything. Caitlin says Ingrid's depression was unexpected even though she knew she cut herself. I've never been in a situation like that, though, so I can't really judge whether I would've told someone.

On a side note, in the back of my edition there is a list of the songs on Caitlin's mix tape, and that helped me discover some great music!

All in all, this novel portrays raw emotion beautifully. While I wouldn't recommend this to a reluctant reader, I think this is a great book for anyone willing to invest the time to do some interpreting and thinking. Even though it was hard for me to get into the story, it was definitely worth it!

My husband and I, who lost our 20 year old son (one of four) this past summer to a heroin overdose, found this book to resonate so deeply with many aspects of grief that we are dealing with. We both found it healing to listen to and talk about...and found the compassionate handling of mental illness and depression to be so comforting. Incredibly well-written and believable...this was a healing step in our process of working through our own grief. We are thankful to have found the book on the "recommended reading" shelf at Powell's in Portland, last time we visited there.

The night that Ingrid told Caitlin, "I'll go wherever you go. But by dawn Ingrid, and her promise is gone. Caitlin was left alone. Ingrid's suicide immobilizes Caitlin, leaving her unsure of her place in a new world that she doesn't recognize. She can't enjoy anything without her best friend. But Ingrid left more then just her memory behind. She left a journal accounting her last days behind -just for Caitlin. She travels through the her memories of Ingrid and is in search of a renewal of hope.
Hold Still is one of those books that you have to think about. It is so strong and it is hard to tell if you like it. Caitlin is a realistic girl in a very hard and real situation. At the beginning of the book, she is in a very dark place and you can tell that she really wants to come to terms with Ingrid's suicide. She is a really interesting character. Hold Still had a great plot. It was also very original novel about depression. LaCour is a great writer and captured all the emotions of a teen that goes through at a time like this. I recommend that you check out, Hold Still.

There are no words to do justice to how much of an amazingly gorgeous book Hold Still is. Heartbreakingly beautiful, and almost lyrical, it's a powerful read that took hold of my heartstrings and never let go.

To be honest, there's nothing special about the plot. Caitlin's best friend commits suicide and now she's trying to reel in her grief and figure out why. Before I opened this book, I was thinking "I've already this book. Again and again and again," because it's kind of common in YA. And if I could kick my own ass, I would. It doesn't matter if the plot isn't extravagantly different, Hold Still manages to pull away and distance itself from the rest with its complex characters and gorgeous detail to emotion. Seriously. I just wanted to reach into the pages and give Caitlin a huge bear hug.

Something that really added to the story were the hand-written letters and sketches from Ingrid's journal. If the letters and entries would've been typed, the book would've lost some its charm. They really helped make the novel come to life.

This wasn't a very articulate review, so forgive me, but like I said, it's hard to put into words how I felt about this novel. It's impacting, engaging, gorgeously written, beautifully crafted ...I could go on for days. Just take my word and pick this one up! It's an older release, but the search will be so worth it!

Hold Still is an amazing book. It took me by surprise because it was so good! Nina LaCour is an extremely talented writer, which you can clearly see in her strong writing. This book felt real to me. You could just feel the emotions coming off of the page.

The characters were well-developed. Even the minor characters had depth. Caitlin is a beautiful narrator. I loved following her as she dealt with her best friend's suicide. The love interest, Taylor, was so adorable! I kind of wish I found a guy like that in high school. He was such a sweet guy and just what Caitlin needed to start living her life again. My favorite part was when he let Caitlin drive his car. It was such a cute moment! Dylan, Caitlin's new friend, is probably the best character in the book. I love that she did not tolerate fakeness from anyone. She knew who she was and did not care what anyone else thought. Even Ingrid had depth, played a major role in the story, and felt alive to me even though she is dead throughout the entire book. She came alive during flashbacks and through her journal.

Hold Still is a great book . I absolutely loved it. If you enjoyed Looking for Alaska by John Green or Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher, you will definitely enjoy this book. I would recommend it to older teens and up as it does deal with tough subjects, but they are written so beautifully (props to Nina LaCour). This book is so beautiful, but it should not be taken lightly. It will take you on an emotional ride as you journey with Caitlin through her mourning process.

"Hold Still" by Nina LaCour instantly became my favorite book as soon as I read it. It was the first book that I read in a very long time that made me not want to stop to the point where I would literally stay up all night just to finish it. And the funniest thing is that I only got this book by accident. "Hold Still" is considered to be a "young adult fiction" book and normally I would not be caught reading anything with that categorization, much less proclaiming it my new favorite book. Through a bit of luck, however, this book was misplaced at my local library and thus I found it under the regular new fiction as opposed to the new young adult fiction. After I had picked it up, read a little bit about it and decided I wanted to actually read the book, it was too late for me to do anything about the fact that it was what I considered to be "out of my age range" (too young for me).

The story itself centers around a young girl named Caitlin who is returning to school the summer after her closest friend, Ingrid, committed suicide. Somewhat of an older theme, I know, but I don't classify these books. The interaction with other people, the whispers in the hall and just the overall blatant change that comes with such a loss and with such a feeling of having this void in your life is a big factor in this book. In a way, it is almost like what they call the phantom limb syndrome.

The other big theme of this book, in my opinion, is moving on. Though this book ends on a happy note (I believe), it does take you through a lot of struggle, grief, remorse, anger, hatred, love and just the full spectrum of emotions. Often times when people kill themselves there is no clear reason or explanation, even when a note is left behind. Sometimes, maybe the person who takes their own life doesn't even know why they did it exactly. If you could bring them back to life and ask them just what was so awful that they had to die, I think most of them would not be able to give you a straight answer. In that way, this book is about moving on from that which we cannot control, cannot blame ourselves for and most importantly cannot change once it has already happened. That is an important thing to learn in life to deal with no matter who you are or what your situation may be.

Another underlying theme, which I find to be very important, in this book is art. Caitlin uses photography as a way to kind of put the past behind her and move on as much as she can at the time. And sometimes that's all you can do--move on little by little at a time. Much like the painter paints, the writer writes and the musician sings, photography is just another form of expressing our emotions and I truly do believe everyone needs some sort of art in their life as an outlet.

Nina LaCour has a very straight forward every woman style of writing. It makes you feel like you're being told a story by your best friend late at night when you're up way past your bedtime and you don't want your parents to catch you on the phone. Kurt Vonnegut once wrote that the reason why it was harder to read a book than, say, watch a movie is because when you're not only having to focus on the words and comprehend them, but you also have to form the ideas and pictures in your own mind without the help of actors or really any focal points. I found myself thinking of that a lot after I read this book because LaCour's words just paint such a simple picture. While they are written in a way people can easily understand, they also do paint that picture for you with ease. You almost do feel like you're watching a movie more than reading as the story unfolds. (Though Mia Nolting provides some excellent drawings in this book as well)

I honestly read this book for the first time when I was going through what I like to refer to as the best worst time of my life. Several weeks after I read this book I was admitted to a mental hospital after an attempted suicide. Obviously, that isn't the good part. The good part is that I didn't die and I got help and am on the road to recovery. However, I cannot help but wonder when I looked back if this book influenced me at all negatively in my time when I was at my darkest. And honestly, I have to say that while, yes, it did influence me, it was never in a bad way. If you or someone you know lost someone to suicide, then you can probably find something in this book from Caitlin's point of view. But if you've ever thought about killing yourself of suffer from depression than you can probably relate to Ingrid, but hopefully see enough of the good in Caitlin that you don't want to end up like Ingrid did. This book really left me torn apart, honestly, because I saw myself playing the role of both the two main characters. On one hand, I was headed down the road where I was going to end up like Ingrid. On the other hand, I didn't fully want that to happen and I wanted to be more like Caitlin and just find a way to cope. So if anything this book definitely impacted me in a positive way and may have partially helped save my life. Not necessarily because I thought of how everyone I left behind would be like Caitlin and that upset me or made me want to change or just had an impact on me knowing people would eventually, little by little, move on every day. I can't exactly pinpoint that cross between the two characters and what made me feel the way I still do, but that's the beauty of this book. And if nothing else, I mean, it really is only about the act of a suicide as much as "For Whom The Bell Tolls" is about a war.