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Hold on to Your NUTs: The Relationship Manual for Men Paperback – April 1, 2007


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 210 pages
  • Publisher: BetterMen Press; First Edition edition (April 1, 2007)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0979054400
  • ISBN-13: 978-0979054402
  • Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 6.4 x 0.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (51 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #54,656 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Wayne M. Levine, M.A., is the director of the West Coast Men's Center in Agoura Hills, CA, founder of Mentor4Men.com, and creator of the BetterMen Retreats. To learn more, visit www.BetterMen.org.

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Customer Reviews

It extremely entertaining and very quick to the point!
Joshua A. Estes
It makes relationships sound like work and I expect that for some guys, they would rather lose their N.U.T.S than have to work as hard as the good doctor wants us to.
Kevin Killian
I highly recommend it to any man who wants to improve himself as well as his relationships with others.
D. McKeen

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

33 of 34 people found the following review helpful By sbm362 on December 16, 2010
Format: Paperback
So, long story short...I needed some help with stuff going on in my life. I saw this book advertised on artofmanliness.com, found it on here for a reasonable price, ordered it, and read it. The book gave me some good suggestions that I've been able to apply to my life and some tools that I'll be able to use for the rest of my days.

I think it's a pretty strong choice if you are looking for relationship/life advice books geared toward men. It doesn't take the overbearing stance that some other books take, but rather presents the reader with some good advice and practical solutions to making life, work, relationships, and love a little bit better. The whole point of the book is learning how to set boundaries/priorities and then how to communicate those with your partner, friends, family, and coworkers. It's a pretty basic idea that not many young men were taught due to poor home environments, lack of male role models, rapid advancements in femininity, and changes in male roles in society.

I made the mistake of ordering the other books that Amazon suggests. Let me just say that there is absolutely no need to order the other two. This is the book you want. The advice is solid and will help you set a good foundation for present and future relationships if you are willing to put the time and effort into making the changes.

I found the "No More Mr. Nice Guy" book to be a little too much when it comes to telling women and the world what you want, deserve, and expect. I found the same thing to be true with the "Way of the Superior Man" book. The "Being the Strong Man" book was entirely to vague. The author seemed to have some good points, but never really elaborated on them. The story was also pretty terrible...
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28 of 31 people found the following review helpful By Dana Willett on April 9, 2007
Format: Paperback
This book is not intended for women, and doesn't pretend to be. But boy, will we benefit. I bought it for my husband in a "leave-it-on-the-beside-table-with-a-few-key-sections-conveniently-marked" kind of way . . . Of course I had to read it myself first (the title intrigued me), and what impressed me the most was how much this book was written FOR MEN, really. My husband laughed at the title and opened it right up. And he read it. Pretty quickly. There wasn't a bunch of pycho-babble or touchy-feely "delve into your past" exercises. Just straightforward advice and day-to-day tips. The book talks about fathering too, which I appreciate with our two young boys. N.U.T.s is full of clear examples and simple tools for men interested in improving their relationships. As a wife, it's a valuable resource, and I'm grateful for it.
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12 of 13 people found the following review helpful By D. McKeen on April 5, 2007
Format: Paperback
If you're looking for concrete and sound advice on how to shed the 'little boy' in you and start living like a man, you need to read this book. It's a book that you can quickly read in one setting, and also keep referring to whenever you need encouragement and direction. I highly recommend it to any man who wants to improve himself as well as his relationships with others.
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11 of 12 people found the following review helpful By Rick Belden on September 30, 2007
Format: Paperback
Got this book a couple of days ago and I'm really digging it! It's really on point with everything I've seen so far ... strong, straightforward, sensible, and very pragmatic. Great insights, great reminders, great tools, and one of the best books I've seen for men in the last 20 years.

Very accessible and highly recommended for any man bugged by that nagging feeling that he's settling for less from himself than he wants and deserves.

Edit (05/28/11): I'm reluctantly knocking one star off my original rating. I love Wayne's work, but I have a big problem with his recommendation that men need to "silence the little boy" inside and I respectfully disagree with him on this point. I don't believe men need to silence the little boy inside. We need to hear him (maybe for the first time), understand his needs, and help him. We need to make the little boy inside our partner because he knows and remembers things we don't and has access to creative energy we need.

I think, in truth, that Wayne knows and understands this, and I feel capable of teasing out what I know he's trying to say when he says "silence the little boy." But I also know that there are a lot of men out there who've spent their entire adult lives silencing the boy inside, and it's the exact opposite of what they need to do if they're going to heal their wounds, develop a greater depth of self-knowledge and understanding, learn to be kind with themselves, and move forward into better lives.

Rick Belden
Author, Iron Man Family Outing : Poems About Transition Into A More Conscious Manhood
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9 of 10 people found the following review helpful By Passionate Therapist on August 28, 2010
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This is a book about how to let natural masculinity develop instead of fighting it. An unstated premise is that for many men, it is not possible to be themselves, with the gender behavior that would be natural, because they were taught that to be a masculine man is to be a bad man. There are bad men of course, and because bad men have resisted socialization, they have masculine traits as well as bad traits. That most people can't tell the difference between what is masculine and what is bad is why this book has valuable information for everybody, men and women.

The author spends more time describing solutions than describing the problem, which is rare in this field and highly commendable. I only did not give it five stars because of two small points (and four and half stars is not clickable). First, the author is not clear in the discussion of NUTS (non-negotiable unalterable terms) about how to avoid a NUT that limits or oppresses other people. Of course the author and most readers know the difference between a guiding principle for oneself and a power and control move, but it does not come out strongly in the discussion. Secondly, the process of growing nuts is seen in terms of ideas, images to live up to, and consciously-willed steps. This could lead to 'just' a slightly more sophisticated attempt to 'act like a man'. To truly grow nuts, it is perhaps also important to work with feeling (sensation), desire, and energy because growth is an unconscious process for which the will can only provide the conditions (and then get out of the way). The author does strongly encourage readers to join a men's group, and perhaps that is how the more visceral part is managed.
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