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Holding Time Paperback


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 256 pages
  • Publisher: Simon & Schuster (October 15, 1989)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0671688782
  • ISBN-13: 978-0671688783
  • Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.5 x 0.7 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (85 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #309,103 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

3.8 out of 5 stars
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My parents and I are very close and have a very good relationship.
Megan
Now, nearing adulthood, he says, "I'm still autistic. I still like to study weather patterns. I'm still an expert on jeeps and military planes and I still hate hugs."
BeatleBangs1964
This is a major milestone in his life, one that did not seem at all possible at the time Dr. Welch was helping us.
H Hartman

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

24 of 26 people found the following review helpful By Heather Rindlisbacher on October 29, 2006
Format: Paperback
This method, when used appropriately, may be useful for some children who do not have "severe" attachment issues. Children with secure attachments who have normal "acting out" behaviors will probably not be adversely effected by forced holds, and may show some signs of benefits (though I question whether those same benefits would not be achieved by minimized physical contact while coaching a child in expressing their emotions through words). I strongly advocate against this method for children with anxious or avoidant attachment patterns--as do most other therapuetic professionals I work with (I, personally, am not a professional--but an adult who has worked through the challenges of anxious/avoidant attachment styles).

From my experiences and the numerous reports of others in similar circumstances, I have come to believe that forced holdings may appear to have short term benefits. After all, children with insecure attachment patterns are primed for survival, and if you must submit to forced holdings in order to survive you will quickly learn to do so. However, in the long run, forced holding has adverse effects on attachment and responsiveness to physical contact. Personally, after entering therapy of my own accord in college it took two years before I was able to willingly allow someone to hug me (though I still would submit to hugs in situations where it was "culturally appropriate"). Forced holding did nothing for my attachment patterns--though initially there may have been a decrease in negative externalized behaviors (followed by an increase in internalized behaviors such as self-injury and suicidal ideation).
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57 of 70 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on March 15, 1999
Format: Paperback
Occasionally I have heard or read comments about Holding Time that include false information, and would like to correct some of them and encourage everyone to read the book. It was *not* designed for autistic adults. I know this, because my family has worked with Dr. Welch in her offices in New York City and she told us how it developed, as she also does in the book itself. Holding Time was developed by Dr. Welch for autistic children, and has since been shown to be remarkably successful in helping all children, including those described as "normal". I believe anyone who finds Holding Time to be abusive either has not read the book, or is simply not applying the technique correctly. In this case, they should contact a therapist who is specially trained in attachment issues. Having worked with Dr. Welch and seen the truly remarkable results she's brought about with our two girls, I find myself telling all my friends about the technique and encouraging them to try it with their own children. So many of the problems associated with child rearing can be eliminated with Holding Time. Whereas "Time Out's" teach children that their emotions are not acceptable and that they must get out of the parent's sight, Holding teaches that *no* emotions, including anger, are unacceptable and that anger does not negate love. Through Holding, you can experience a degree of joy and love you would not have thought possible. I honestly believe that many of the problem kids in our society who are now problem adults would not be committing crimes or hurting anyone if they had been "held" as children.Read more ›
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23 of 27 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on May 29, 2002
Format: Paperback
I did holding time with my and 8 & 9 year old sosn (We are now adopting him), and I feel Holding Time was essential to our bonding and attachment to each other. Without it, I don't feel I would have been able to get together with my child. my child was neglected and abused at an early age and he suffers from attachment disorder. Through Holding Time techniques I was able to overcome his emotional distress. I felt so much hope and I could see the part of him that was usually covered up. I had no anger and felt only closeness and tenderness. I was able to share his sadness and pain. In a way I think Holding Time helped me give birth to my adopted boy. I now feel very close to him and he to me.
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39 of 48 people found the following review helpful By Catherine Stone on March 7, 2000
Format: Paperback
I would like to express a deep admiration for Dr. Welch and her 20+ years of experience with this therapy. It is not a fad therapy, but is based upon the findings of Nobel Prize-winning Ethologist Niko Tinbergen and attachment theory scientist Bowlby. Holding Therapy applies the findings of these two and other scientists -- mainly that behavior is conditioned, and that conditioned behavior can be changed -- to the treatment of autism, reactive attachment disorder and other behavioral problems. Dr. Welch is not only a psychiatrist, she is a neuroscientist, about to publish her findings on the brain chemistry which makes holding therapy work.
People who attend her intensives are desperate - their children, adopted or not, are often so far out of control that if they cannot be helped they will be institutionalized. I have witnessed in two consecutive intensives, miracles of healing using this technique. Understanding the brain chemistry which is triggered makes the process comprehensible and deepens wonder at Nature's compassion for our egregrious parenting errors.
It seems there exists an energetic web to save us when we fail to connect with each other, lying just behind the facade of our adaptive personality traits and coping mechanisms. That energetic mesh is unconditional love, the activity of connection, the stimulus to unlimited intelligent evolution.
Holding Therapy places the mother on top of the child on a soft mattress, belly-to-belly, nose to nose,eyes gazing into eyes, breath circling from one body to the other. It's intimate, it's "in your face.
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