Customer Reviews

Holiness for Housewives: And Other Working Women

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I admit that this book wasn't what I was expecting when I first came across it. But it has turned out to be the richest and wisest book on the vocation of wife and mother that I have read. A mere 63 pages of text, it is not written in a light, chatty style with "dust jacket sound bites" but rather as an experienced spiritual director speaks to a soul, with directness, depth, and understanding. And it's not to be read in one sitting, but each section taken a little at a time to meditate upon and internalize.

It is divided into three sections:
1) Your special vocation as a housewife
2) How to pray amidst your daily duties
3) How to grow holier day by day

and each are further divided into subsections such as "Don't be misled by a false notion of holiness," "Learn the two ways to pray and work," and "Beware of the temptation to run away." Though there are no personal stories such as one might find in a woman's or parenting magazine to chuckle over and say "Oh, yeah I've been in that situation," each topic goes to the deepest parts of what marriage is - a vocation, one's personal way to holiness - and how to let this vocation be one's means of sanctification in a practical way (such as how to respond to the constant interruptions and ruined plans). It helps to give a picture of what holiness truly is instead of some false image of praying in a quiet chapel all day, and practically how to advance in this particular path of sanctification.

I think a some misunderstandings in a previous review do need a response briefly. First, when speaking of religion as consolation, he is warning not to let that be the sole substance of what religion is to a soul. He warns that it not fall into the trap of being either an contrived emotional experience to just along in life, or the other side which is just a dry, routine practice without spiritual depth. Second, a more careful reading would show that after saying one must obey a superior, only two sentences later he states that, "No superior, no husband, can command you to do what is wrong." He certainly isn't advocating blind obedience to go along with something immoral (clear if one reads the text), but rather how obedience, even when it seems unreasonable (NOT immoral) to us, to God, His Church, and even our husbands on occasion (!), can be acts of love and even liberty.

I wish every parish had a spiritual director with as much wisdom as van Zeller.

Wow! Holiness for Housewives offers genuine, understandable, and practical guidance for mothers! This is a helpful--and hopeful-- book for women who wish to grow their spirituality within the context of their daily routine. Van Zeller truly edifies the day-to-day tasks of stay-at-home moms and offers very specific ways that these tasks can lead one to a deeper relationship with God. Rather than trying to deepen one's spirituality IN SPITE OF the daily chores and child-care duties, he discuses how one might offer the busyness of the day as a prayer in and of itself. He calls this "practicing the presence of God." This process places incredibe value on both one's personal realtionship with God and on mothering. I've often thought of these two endeavors as somewhat mutually exclusive--or at least as competitors. But Van Zeller provides a method in which they can fit together in a way which enriches them both.

What can a man offer about a book for women? Well, as a husband who does his fair share of cleaning and dishes and child-rearing I can tell you that not only has my wife benefitted from this book, but so have I.

I have benefitted in that not only is my wife a more content mother because of the advice offered, but I am a better father.

I'm better because she is more content, and I am better because the book's advice and prayers are beneficial to housewives and househusbands weary from the drudgery of daily housework.

The author demonstrates that housework and childcare can be a path to holiness. Finding the spiritual and the sacredness in our everyday tasks can make us Saints.

I highly recommend this book, for both housewives and their husbands. It is a short, easy read. The very practical and honest prayers at the end of the book are alone worth the price of the book.

I've always hated those guilt-tripping "holiness" books that are geared toward some imaginary type of person that the author thinks should exist but I've never encountered. You know, the kind of mom that has endless quiet hours for Scripture reading and daily prayer. If you don't read your Bible for 30 minutes a day and have daily formal devotions, you aren't living up to your calling. Even if your calling includes waking every three hours at night and changing endless diapers and making endless meals and cleaning endless messes. (Don't you know you're supposed to get up at 4:00 am to do it, if the kids are too noisy during the day?!) With a wave of the hand and a "pfft!" I have always dismissed these books or sermons as completely impractical and a burden on the faithful. "God knows what my calling is and I will not feel guilty for not having devotions every single day!"

Well, this book isn't anything like that. Dom Zeller writes as though he has lived in my brain at some point. Every excuse, every rationalization, every resolve, he somehow knows. And yet he writes with such understanding and love, with encouragement and practical advice, that rather than instill guilt, it inspires me to cultivate my interior life.

What he does is he explains the inherent dignity that is motherhood and housewifery, and shows practical ways that I can actually USE the "drudgery" and constant interruptions as occasions for submitting my will to God's. He goes against these false notions of theoretical "holiness" that require one to resemble a hermit, and teaches how to "pray without ceasing" in a way that is actually doable. Best of all he does not impose any one method on all, but gives principles to easily apply to my particular situation. Whereas other authors merely make you feel like giving up before you even start, this book makes you think "Hey, I can do that. I'll start now!"

Holiness for Housewives (and other working women) by Dom Hubert Van Zeller was originally published in 1951 under the title "Praying while you Work." This is an updated, abridged version, but its message is just as relevant and perhaps even more needed today as it was fifty years ago. It can be hard to find the spirituality in daily life, to find God amidst the dirty dishes and the laundry and the meals to be cooked.

It is important to think of being a wife and mother as a vocation. God has called us to this life and God will give us the strength to carry out our duties. The most important thing to do in life is God's will. "Apart from the accepted will of God, nothing has lasting reality. So if God wills that you should be bowed over the sink instead of over the pew in your favorite church, then washing dishes is for you, now, the most perfect thing you can possibly do."

Van Zeller acknowledges that there will be times when we will want to escape. "There are times in the life of a wife and mother when almost any other setting is felt to be preferable to hers. . . You may come to feel a loathing for your husband, your children, your home, and your society. You may find that your religion has turned sour on you. You may give up hope of ever finding happiness again . . .you are being given the grace to get the best out of the situation."

Van Zeller emphasizes that we must strive to make all our time holy by offering it to God and by stopping throughout the day to offer brief prayers. Even our leisure time must be a gift to God. We must strive to use our time as He wills us to do so.

One brief section of the book deals with obedience to one's husband, an idea no longer emshrined in wedding vows and one which no doubt most modern women would object to vehemently. Van Zeller maintains that a wife must obey her husband in all things unless what he asks contradicts what God asks. That is an important concept even today. Husbands can never make us do what is wrong. We answer first to God.

The conclusion of the book offers "Prayers for Housewives," a reference of both basic prayers and prayers for special needs. "Holiness for Housewives" is a wonderful little gem of a book, a real reminder that God is in the details of daily living and that if we are living the life God called us to, our sanctity is found there as well.

I can't count the number of times I've referred back to this little book, especially its discussions on finding holiness in the state of life God has given you (no pining to be a nun, or ballerina, or CEO, or SAHM, if you're not called to be one), offering up your daily frustrations as an act of love & growth in holiness, and the great GK Chesterton quote & discussion: "How can it be broad to be one thing to everyone, yet narrow to be everything to one person?"

So many words of wisdom for women of all vocations.

I would recommend this book to every woman, but especially housewives. I think we all have times when we want "out" or when we are avoiding the spiritual life. This book helped me to realize that those feelings are not only normal but an integral part of the path to which we are called as women and mothers, and that through those feelings we can and must find our way to God. I hope you consider reading this book! It's helped me immensely.

This book is great for revitalizing your prayer life if you feel stuck in a rut. It can be dense at times, but there is definitely a lot of good things to take from it.

My initial reaction to seeing this book in a catalog was "What would a priest know about being a housewife" (or in politically correct language, a "full time parent" as there are husbands who have undertaken that role). This books shows that the author does know something about it, and there is helpful information in the book, particularly the idea that everything you do can and should be offered up as a prayer. However, I find that it is written in too "theoretical" of a style (i.e. not enough concrete examples of what he means). Furthermore, I do not agree with many of his statements such as, "One mistake is that of looking at religion for something that it is not the primary purpose of religion to provide. People will take up religion for the consolation they expect to get out of it in their sorrows. They turn to God because they feel that human companionship is not to be relied upon, and that possibly a relationship with God may ward off agonies of loneliness" He writes a bit more at length about this, and makes a good point about not using religion as a drug and abandoning it when it doesn't work, but it is precisely this comfort that our Lord Himself extended to his followers "Come to me all of you who are tired of bearing heavy loads." God does indeed offer us consolation in our sorrows and this is precisely the reason why many sought our Lord Jesus out when He lived with us on earth. They sought Him out for forgiveness and healing and later on, were willing to make great sacrifices because of their love for Him. Who are we to scorn those who seek the Lord out because they need consolation? After this, the author makes another incomprehensible statement "Another mistake people make about religion is to expect it to shed more and more light upon both the truths of faith and the personal problems that come up for decision" then he follows this with a paragraph which I cannot fathom the meaning of. Is it a mistake to meditate on your spiritual beliefs (I'm assuming that this is what he means by religion) and on God's word when you are trying to find a godly solution to a problem in your life? Is it wrong to seek the Lord's guidance as you grapple with a decision? Or am I just very stupid and unable to comprehend what this lofty-minded individual is trying to communicate? He has a section entitled "Learn to obey authority" he makes the appalling statement that "A soul is being truly wise when it bows to the decision of a stupid superior." (Can someone who is truly stupid be called superior?!?!) He elaborates on this: "If you have vowed before God to obey a husband who turns out to be stupid, misinformed or prejudiced (eh? Turns out? Didn't you know what he was like when you married him?!? Perhaps he is addressing an audience in the time of arranged marriages?).....(intervening clauses and sentences here)....he can command you to do what you may happen to think is unreasonable and if he does you have to obey." These are dangerous instructions. What if your spouse forces you to sumbit to a beating at his hands? I know of priests who have counseled battered women to endure this in silence "for the glory of God and conversion of sinners." I do not agree with this. One of the works of mercy is to admonish the sinner and if your spouse is COMMANDING you or anyone else to do something against their will and better judgment it is your obligation to let him/her know that they are behaving offensively. They are SINNING when they do this and to remain silent is to be an accomplice to that sin. To conscienciously object is the LOVING thing to do.Did our Lord remain silent in the face of the Pharisees' hypocrisy? No He constantly admonished them. In fact, did He remain silent when He observed wrongs committed by anyone? No He did not. There is no formula for determining when one is to remain silent or voice objections. As with everything we do, we must bring the problem to God in prayer and patiently wait for His direction. On top of everything else, we must be conscious of the example we are showing our children. In a healthy home, husbands and wives treat each other lovingly and respectfully. In such a home, there is no room nor should there be any reason for a husband to COMMAND his wife to do anything or vice versa. Having said all that, I think the prayers at the end of the book are appropriate, although I think it would be far better for a housewife to pray to God in her own words with the sentiments born of the loving sacrifices she has made as part of her vocation.

I didn't think that this book was as great as the reviews said it was. It's ok but I was disappointed that it didn't elaborate a little more and thought it could have been more informative.