Customer Reviews

Hollywood Jock: 365 Days, Four Screenplays, Three TV Pitches, Two Kids, and One Wife Who's Ready to Pull the Plug

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If "Hollywood Jock" were a movie, the log line would run: "A sports-mad writer gets a shot at redemption when his wife gives him a year to sell a project to Hollywood."

This book collects the 34 "Hollywood Jock" columns written wrote for ESPN.com, and another 19 that continues the story of Rob Ryder, Hollywood Hustler. We follow him as he tries to sell anyone he can get ahold of on the merits of scripts such as "Zulu Wave," about a black surfer in apartheid-era South Africa, "94 Feet of Hell" that takes you inside a fictional college basketball game; and businesses such as a 4-on-4 summer pro basketball league. He's calls on agents for pro athletes who want to get into producing, directors he has worked with (such as Rob Shelton, who directed "Bull Durham" and "Tin Cup"), production companies, money managers, agents, anyone who knows anyone with two cents to rub together who might be able to get a movie launched.

When he's telling his war stories, Ryder is a genial companion, and you can sympathize with his struggles to get his projects off the ground.

But "Hollywood Jock" is also a mess, a shapeless diary that's as chaotic as the way Hollywood puts together movies. The "wife gives him a year to make good" conceit holds no drama or emotion -- and once he loses his paying gig at ESPN.com, the chapters move away from the look at Hollywood and pro sports and becomes a recitation of e-mails, meetings, appointments and cancellations, writing sessions and what Elmore Leonard would call stuff readers would skip over.

If you can handle that, "Hollywood Jock" is a good example of how Hollywood works and how it doesn't.

I LOVED THIS BOOK! All right, so the author went to Princeton, where he played on the basketball team. We won't hold that against him, especially since the team he played on almost beat #1UCLA in the NCAA's(lost by a point.) Perhaps that near victory prepared him for life as a Hollywood screenwriter, where he suffers the "plight of intermittent reinforcement": every once in a while he'll get a rat's pellet of reward, just enough to keep him "bashing his head into a cinder-block wall."

See the way I'm quoting the author? This is the kind of book where you underline all the time. (Mine is NOT a library copy, I own it.) Some samples:

' Comparing how men and women cross a dance floor differently when they're drunk. A man will "do these flanking motions, like a sailboat tacking upwind, stumbling left...then heading back right, like you improve your odds of finding your destination by covering more territory somehow..." A woman will cross "like she's on a mission, walking that straight line.. putting one foot in front of the other, steps short and quick, knowing as long as she keeps leaning forward and staying focused she's gonna finally get there."

' Or his example of "due diligence:" "When people are young, they sleep together before getting married to find out how good the sex is gonna be. Second time around, it's to find out how bad's the snoring. Due diligence."

' Quoting a teacher friend of his: "Moviemaking is the slow disintegration of a good idea."

' Quoting another friend's mother: "Closed mouths don't get fed."

' Quoting a doctor on why his friend developed a lump in his scrotum (non-malignant--this book is for laughs, not for downers): "Forget firefighters, forget steelworkers. Writing's the worst--high stress, constant rejection, alcoholism, drug abuse, heart disease, phlebitis, self-contempt, you name it, plus you sit around on your balls all day."

Part of the book is based on columns the author wrote for espn.com. That means he writes short, snappy chapters, which make it an easy read. He also puts in web addresses that will help writers and others with their work. And he's not afraid to personalize the book, be it his relationship with his wife (Where did he find such an angel?!), his sons, or his genuine feelings about our troops in Iraq (sadly, though the book chronicles the year 2005, the troops are still there.) But mainly it's funny. Who knew watching some other guy face constant rejection could be so entertaining?

Finally, Ryder actually had me hooked so much that I HAD TO KNOW what happened to the one screenplay he finally managed to sell. What's the exciting climax? I won't tell you, because you'll have such a great time finding out yourself. You'll also learn a whole lot about the in's and out's of the screen trade, viewed through the lens of a sports consultant, but, most enjoyably, as seen through the eyes of a sensitive, funny, compassionate writer who's been there, done that. If you're anything like me, once you've finished this book, you'll quickly give it to someone you care about so they can love it, too.

Some of the other reviews have already explained the plot of the book, so I'll give a (hopefully) short and snappy review:

This book by Rob Ryder plays like a movie, as he tries to make a living as a screenwriter...always coming up against obstacles (as his contacts are Hollywood big-wigs who fit the stereotype of living the fast life..i.e. parties, fast cars, expensive life-styles, etc...) Meanwhile, Ryder continues to make a living writing a column on [...] (bits of it which are still online to this day, which is basically this book in parts); and Ryder's wife is the individual mainly bringing home the bacon.

Anyone is who looking to get into the entertainment business (in any capacity) would possibly find this book interesting, as it seems like every man and woman is for his or herself, and one has to be very thick-skinned to succeed.

Moreover, it questions: Are you wanting to succeed in the business for the art, or for the expensive life-style? For Ryder, he comes off as an individual who doesn't mind being around those living the big life-style; of course, in that circle of individuals from sports or films, he comes across some who are corrupted--either in a big or small way--by the 'glitz and glamour' life.

I wouldn't mind an sequel to this book.

This book is a gem!

HOLLYWOOD JOCK should be mandatory reading in every college Screenwriting class. Every starry-eyed writer heading to Los Angeles needs to know what to expect, and Rob Ryder's experience is what so many LA scriptwriters confront. Had I read Ryder's eloquent book before spending my dozen years in Hollywood, I would at least have been prepared for the experience.

What's most instructive is that Ryder has such a masterful command of both story and prose -- and deep insight into sport. His so his insider story of how Hollywood actually works at the script level helps explain why we see so few quality studio films.

But most of all, HOLLYWOOD JOCK is simply a crackling great read, whether or not you plan to be a Hollywood writer. It's the real deal about Hollywood, and it's about time someone told that story and so well. Kudos to Rob Ryder!

Phew! I'm the type of person who puts down a book half way through pretty often. Not this time. Hollywood Jock took me to places I knew nothing about; sports and the 'Industry'. And it took me there at seventy miles an hour. Rob slams from pitch meeting to pitch meeting in his old, beat-up car, always with a 'rant' of some sort to entertain on the way. He manuevers through the nuances of people's egos, people's loyalty, and especially their fear. It's all there. Great voice.

Hollywood Jock is an easy read, filled with the amusing adventures that Ryder has encountered in his quest to write screenplays of interest in Hollywood. Anyone even remotely interested in sports and show business will find the book entertaining and funny. This book seems like a natural premise for a TV sitcom. Maybe Ryder will get lucky and HBO will agree.