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Holy Listening: The Art of Spiritual Direction

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In her slim volume Holy Listening: The Art of Spiritual Direction, Episcopal priest and spiritual director Margaret Guenther has provided a jewel of a book for those interested in spiritual direction, and more particularly, for those who are interested in becoming spiritual directors.

Spiritual direction is rather difficult to classify. It is part art, part science, part skill. It bears relations to pastoral care and psychological therapy, but there are important differences. `Spiritual direction is not psychotherapy nor is it an inexpensive substitute, although the disciplines are compatible and frequently share raw material. Spiritual direction is not pastoral counseling, nor is it to be confused with the mutuality of deep friendships, for it is unashamedly hierarchical.'

This hierarchy is one of the stumbling blocks for many, ironically particularly for those in the clergy. One must have trust in the spiritual director. To be a spiritual director, one must inspire trust, the kind of trust that enables the directee to understand that it is for that one's good that all effort will be focused. `What a gift to bring to another, the gift of disinterested, loving attention!'

Guenther's first chapter talks about this aspect of trust and attention by likening spirtual direction to a journey. Many spiritual writers have used the metaphor of the journey in the past, so frequently perhaps that it almost becomes an inside joke among some. However, Guenther's exploration of the importance of hospitality toward the stranger on a journey sets a good foundation.

For the spiritual director and the spiritual directee, many aspects of preparation are the same. A respect for silence, an importance placed on attention, and an openness and willingness for questioning are shared aspects. For the one seeking spiritual direction, the necessity for looking beyond books such as this toward a spiritual direction `in real life' is underscored.

Making the space a safe one is also important for the spiritual director. This requires more than simple confidentiality. It requires a degree of self-control in gauging one's reactions, allowing silence, not adding simple or quick answers, and recognising one's own appearance and tendencies for response.

In the chapter entitled `Good Teachers', Guenther explores the teaching and learning aspects of spiritual direction. `So what does the spiritual director teach? In the simplest and also most profound terms, the spiritual director is simultaneously a learner and a teacher of discernment.'

Discernment requires perception and judgment. The spiritual director needs to be open and experienced. The directee needs to be similarly open, and willing to be known and reflective upon the tasks of discernment called forth by the director. Both director and directee must be willing to discover deeper truths about themselves.

Using the example of Jesus as a teacher, and looking as qualities of good teachers, Guenther relates these to the tasks of spiritual direction. Just as teachers sometimes encourage elements of fun and play in their lessons, directors and directees must not get bogged down in a false sense of seriousness that puts a pall on the journey.

Quoting from the spiritual classic, The Cloud of Unknowing, Guenther relates the problem of this approach. The Cloud says of such displays of piety, `Sometimes their eyes look like the eyes of wounded sheep near death' and goes on to counsel avoidance of the extreme and the eccentric: `Far better a modest countenance, a calm, composed bearing, and a merry candor'.

Additionally, good teachers question, instill hope, and are willing to evaluate progress. Spiritual guidance may not be graded in the same manner as school work, but if it is to have meaning, there must be a way of evaluating. Finally, good teachers are willing learners. Guenther relates her own experience to being somewhat like Annie Sullivan, the teacher of Helen Keller: young, inexperienced, with imperfect vision herself, she set off to the do the near impossible.

One particular thing spiritual directors focus upon is the teaching and learning of prayer, and Guenther draws the experience and writing of spiritual leaders in the past. She says of homework she rarely assigns, but frequently suggests. Of course, the dedicated seeker will look forward to such homework and exercises. The task of the spiritual director will then be to test the validity of the experience for the seeker.

In her final two chapters, Guenther brings in her own experience as a woman in spiritual direction, and looks to images in the bible and in life for metaphors for spiritual direction. Drawing form Meister Eckhart and the images of the Hebrew midwifes, she likens spiritual direction to being a midwife for the soul. Drawing on fairly recent spiritual exploration and writing by women in academic and theological research, she looks at some of the particular gifts brought to the task of spiritual direction by women. Women have a greater likelihood to have a natural gift for listening. Also, given that women have been `outsiders' in clerical and spiritual circles for so much of human history, that can be a gift to those who have similar feelings of being outside, alone, or otherwise different.

This is a wonderful book for anyone who would like a glimpse of what spiritual direction is all about, from the standpoint of a woman who has been personally involved on both sides of the relationship. It is also a good guide for those who are interested in pursuing the vocation of a spiritual director.

Margaret Guenther is an Episcopal priest serving a parish in New York City. She is also on the faculty of General Theological Seminary, teaching topics related to spiritual direction. She is a popular speaker, retreat leader, and recognised as an expert voice in the growing field of spiritual direction.

I am a reader from Argentina and really loved reading the book, which I found to be a very sensible and realistic approach to Spiritual Guidance. I am Roman Catholic, finished a two year chourse on Spiritual directiion and learnt a lot with M. Guenthers' book. She puts into words, in a very simple manner what Spiritual Direction is all about. Her examples are very clear and I found the book so interesting to read. I especially liked chapter 3, where she compares the director to a midwife. I have read many other books on this subject, bun none was so practical as this one.

In this hospitable book of just four chapters, Margaret Guenther, professor and priest by profession welcomes us into her academic office -- transformed into sacred space by an icon here, a candle there, and a homey plaid rug in the middle of the room -- and introduces us to her amateur vocation, that of spiritual director. Her gifts as a good teacher prompt her to explain to us carefully and patiently what spiritual direction is ("holy listening"), what its purpose is ("to help people discover how to define themselves, not only in relation to the world, but also to God) and how she has learned over the years to go about it. In contrast to Alan Jones, who seems intentionally to avoid the "how-to" question in his Exploring Spiritual Direction, Guenther's book is packed with practical explanation of how she goes about the task of directing. Drawing on her experience with hundreds of directees over the years, she offers vignettes drawn from actual experience, which shed light on the process of direction, its pitfalls, and its benefits. Yet, however laced the book is from beginning to end with practical advice, it is not a "how-to" manual. For all of these practical tips are shared in the course of a free flowing meditation on key portions of scripture which have given shape to her understanding and practice of direction over the years. From Abraham's welcoming of strangers in Genesis 18 we come to appreciate that direction, too, involves hospitality. From Jesus' encounter with the rich young man in Mark 10 we are invited to consider what it means for the director to be a "good teacher" in the sense that Jesus was. From the "born again" conversation between Jesus and Nicodemus in John 3 and the experience of the Hebrew midwives in Exodus 1 we come to appreciate the honor and wonder involved in attending to our own spiritual birth and that of another. Finally, issuing from the conversation with the woman at the well in John 4 we begin to appreciate the unique contribution of women to the art of direction. In all of this Guenther the amateur, teaches us wisely and patiently what she does, and invites us to consider how we might undertake this ministry of "holy listening" which she so dearly loves.

In "Holy Listening," Episcopal priest and theologian Margaret Guenther explores the ministry of spiritual direction, discussing it from the perspective of hospitality, teaching, midwifery, with a special chapter on women and spiritual diretion. Although she offers plenty of practical advice and suggestions, she avoids didactism, or lecturing. Her use of vignettes and stories are very helpful.

This book is invaluable both for a would-be or practicing director (or so I would imagine), or anyone currently receiving spiritual direction, or interested in pursuing it. In a very gentle, non-judgemental way, Ms. Guenther outlines stages, benefits and limitations of spiritual direction. Her writing style is warm, accessible, and engaging. An excellent resource for this ministry.

Margaret Gunther's book on Spiritual Direction is an excellent resource for all persons who are professionally involved in soul care, whether clergy, counselors, retreat directors, or spiritual directors. I've read many books on this subject, yet this one kept me engaged from cover to cover. I read it in one evening. If you are involved in spiritual ministry to people, get this book.

That being said, I wish Gunther had added two more chapters. I am sure she is qualified and I would like to hear her views on a couple of related subjects.

I wish she had set aside a chapter dedicated to future goals in spiritual direction. Her first two chapters on Holy Listening (introduction), Welcoming the Stranger (chapter one), and Good Teachers (chapter 2) were first class. Her chapter on Midwife to the Soul (chapter 3) didn't keep my attention as well, but was a great transitional chapter that brought a climax to her entire work. I wish she had inserted a chapter here on the ongoing relationship between the director and directee. She could have encouraged the director in hers or his own personal growth, identified some dangers involved with long term relationships, and given clearer advice on knowing when and how to break the relationship. She could have laid out some long term goals for spiritual direction.

I also wish Gunther had added a chapter on Men and Spiritual Direction. She is a woman and the majority of persons who come for spiritual direction are women (page 119). Still a nice chapter specifically focused on men would have been the perfect "icing on the cake" for this book. I am sure she would have done a good job. All through her book, Guenther writes with a sensitivity that is alluring to both men and women.

The inclusion of these two chapters would have bumped my score from a 4.5 to a solid 5 stars. As it is now, I'm just going to have to search through amazon.com for more works by this author.

This is a great resource for any person seeking information and understanding of their call in spiritual direction (Holy Listening),especially those begining in this ministry. It is an easy read and one that can be understood but also challenging. It does offer time to reflect on their own journey as Margaret tells her story as she proceeds with her ministry. I would highly recommend this book to all clergy and laity alike.

In her slim volume Holy Listening: The Art of Spiritual Direction, Episcopal priest and spiritual director Margaret Guenther has provided a jewel of a book for those interested in spiritual direction, and more particularly, for those who are interested in becoming spiritual directors.
Spiritual direction is rather difficult to classify. It is part art, part science, part skill. It bears relations to pastoral care and psychological therapy, but there are important differences. `Spiritual direction is not psychotherapy nor is it an inexpensive substitute, although the disciplines are compatible and frequently share raw material. Spiritual direction is not pastoral counseling, nor is it to be confused with the mutuality of deep friendships, for it is unashamedly hierarchical.'

This hierarchy is one of the stumbling blocks for many, ironically particularly for those in the clergy. One must have trust in the spiritual director. To be a spiritual director, one must inspire trust, the kind of trust that enables the directee to understand that it is for that one's good that all effort will be focused. `What a gift to bring to another, the gift of disinterested, loving attention!'

Guenther's first chapter talks about this aspect of trust and attention by likening spirtual direction to a journey. Many spiritual writers have used the metaphor of the journey in the past, so frequently perhaps that it almost becomes an inside joke among some. However, Guenther's exploration of the importance of hospitality toward the stranger on a journey sets a good foundation.

For the spiritual director and the spiritual directee, many aspects of preparation are the same. A respect for silence, an importance placed on attention, and an openness and willingness for questioning are shared aspects. For the one seeking spiritual direction, the necessity for looking beyond books such as this toward a spiritual direction `in real life' is underscored.

Making the space a safe one is also important for the spiritual director. This requires more than simple confidentiality. It requires a degree of self-control in gauging one's reactions, allowing silence, not adding simple or quick answers, and recognising one's own appearance and tendencies for response.

In the chapter entitled `Good Teachers', Guenther explores the teaching and learning aspects of spiritual direction. `So what does the spiritual director teach? In the simplest and also most profound terms, the spiritual director is simultaneously a learner and a teacher of discernment.'

Discernment requires perception and judgment. The spiritual director needs to be open and experienced. The directee needs to be similarly open, and willing to be known and reflective upon the tasks of discernment called forth by the director. Both director and directee must be willing to discover deeper truths about themselves.

Using the example of Jesus as a teacher, and looking as qualities of good teachers, Guenther relates these to the tasks of spiritual direction. Just as teachers sometimes encourage elements of fun and play in their lessons, directors and directees must not get bogged down in a false sense of seriousness that puts a pall on the journey.

Quoting from the spiritual classic, The Cloud of Unknowing, Guenther relates the problem of this approach. The Cloud says of such displays of piety, `Sometimes their eyes look like the eyes of wounded sheep near death' and goes on to counsel avoidance of the extreme and the eccentric: `Far better a modest countenance, a calm, composed bearing, and a merry candor'.

Additionally, good teachers question, instill hope, and are willing to evaluate progress. Spiritual guidance may not be graded in the same manner as school work, but if it is to have meaning, there must be a way of evaluating. Finally, good teachers are willing learners. Guenther relates her own experience to being somewhat like Annie Sullivan, the teacher of Helen Keller: young, inexperienced, with imperfect vision herself, she set off to the do the near impossible.

One particular thing spiritual directors focus upon is the teaching and learning of prayer, and Guenther draws the experience and writing of spiritual leaders in the past. She says of homework she rarely assigns, but frequently suggests. Of course, the dedicated seeker will look forward to such homework and exercises. The task of the spiritual director will then be to test the validity of the experience for the seeker.

In her final two chapters, Guenther brings in her own experience as a woman in spiritual direction, and looks to images in the bible and in life for metaphors for spiritual direction. Drawing form Meister Eckhart and the images of the Hebrew midwifes, she likens spiritual direction to being a midwife for the soul. Drawing on fairly recent spiritual exploration and writing by women in academic and theological research, she looks at some of the particular gifts brought to the task of spiritual direction by women. Women have a greater likelihood to have a natural gift for listening. Also, given that women have been `outsiders' in clerical and spiritual circles for so much of human history, that can be a gift to those who have similar feelings of being outside, alone, or otherwise different.

This is a wonderful book for anyone who would like a glimpse of what spiritual direction is all about, from the standpoint of a woman who has been personally involved on both sides of the relationship. It is also a good guide for those who are interested in pursuing the vocation of a spiritual director.

Margaret Guenther is an Episcopal priest serving a parish in New York City. She is also on the faculty of General Theological Seminary, teaching topics related to spiritual direction. She is a popular speaker, retreat leader, and recognised as an expert voice in the growing field of spiritual direction.

The characterization of a spiritual director by the description "Holy Listener" encapsulates the book's central theme. Through the progressive introduction of topics, the author guides the reader to a deeper understanding of the "art" in spiritual direction. Drawing on her own experiences as a spiritual director, the author relates guiding principles for providing spiritual direction from an variety of perspectives. Most insightful is her description of the spiritual director as "a holy listener", a soul-companion, whose heart and presence provides a hospitable haven for "fellow travelers". The experience and wisdom imparted through Margaret Guenther's writing proffers what could be viewed as the depth and breath of the art in spiritual direction. There is much to be gained by contemplating the various perspectives the author provides and in understanding the tremendous privilege it is to serve as a "Holy Listener".

Over the past year I have read several books covering the topic and practice of spiritual direction. Counting my present experience, Holy Listening: The Art of Spiritual Direction ranks among the very best that I have read to date. This guide, written by Margaret Guenther, is unlike some of the other books on this subject that I have read.

First, let me say that spiritual direction is not a discipline or art that can be necessarily taught. There are certain tools that can be shared and there is experiential wisdom that might be communicated to help perspective "guides" and directors, but spiritual direction cannot be taught from a clinical perspective. When speaking of "soul" therapy there remains much mystery, especially when considering that the vast majority of the work done in spiritual direction is done by the Holy Spirit of God.

Disclaimer aside, Holy Listening does not attempt to "teach" spiritual direction, but instead, Margaret Guenther humbly shares a lifetime of her experience as a "holy listener" and soul friend. The book is just under one hundred fifty pages long and divided into only four chapters. The first chapter reminds the reader that each soul is to be welcomed as Christ; Welcoming the Stranger, refers to the Rule of St. Benedict (Chapter 53: Let all guests who arrive be received like Christ, for He is going to say, "I came as a guest, and you received Me"). This is a delightful chapter full of real-life insight that offers bountiful wisdom gleaned from years of holy listening. Each page of this chapter drips humility from Guenther and points to God as the true guide in the work of spiritual direction.

Chapter two is the longest chapter in the book and my favorite. I think it offers the most practical wisdom and instruction in Holy Listening. I just checked my copy of the book and I think every page but three or four have some type of highlighting or note written on them. Let me reemphasize that the style of the book is not teaching method, but sharing experience and because of this style of sharing there is an invaluable amount of wisdom and insight gleaned. The personal stories, both successes and errors, are related with honesty and care. I found reading the stories themselves a holy experience for me.

Chapters three and four provided unique challenges to me as a male. Chapter three is written using the metaphor of a midwife to describe the work of the spiritual director. I had to take my time and open my mind to the metaphor, but the effort was worth it. Once I reached the half-way point of the "midwife" chapter, this wonderful metaphor began to yield bountiful fruit. Chapter four addressed specific challenges and distinctive to ministry and direction to women (chapter titled: Women and Spiritual Direction). I'm sure this will be a valuable chapter for me at some point and I will probably refer to again and again in the future, but I must admit that I was a bit lost for the majority of this chapter. I write this confession as a man who has been married almost twenty-four years and a man who was raised with two sisters. I have experience with the nature of the female, but much of what was shared in this final chapter was a bit outside of my experience.

This really was a wonderful book. It is one of the best I have read on the art of spiritual direction. There is nothing systematic or technical about it, but I don't think there is a more complete approach to the subject of being a soul friend than any other book I have read to date. I'm confident to recommend this work to anyone who might be considering this type of counseling. It is a gem and a gift to the person called to spiritual guidance and direction.

I greatly appreciated the ease of reading this book. Organized and insightful, it carried a weight without being overbearing. For those who are considering becoming a Spiritual Director or those who are thinking about sitting with one, the book is an excellent guide to what the process is at its best.