Holy Sex!: A Catholic Guide to Toe-Curling, Mind-Blowing, Infallible Loving [Paperback]

Gregory K. Popcak PhD (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 1, 2008

Common wisdom portrays sex and church to be at odds, yet studies show that Catholics have better sex, and more often. This witty, frank, and refreshingly orthodox book draws from the beautiful truths of Catholic teaching to show people of all faiths about rich and satisfying sexuality. Hailed by Christians across the spectrum from Christopher West and Janet E. Smith to John L. Allen, Jr., Holy Sex! includes dozens of questionnaires, quizzes, and valuable lessons from real-life stories.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

This practical sex guide incorporates, but goes well beyond, marital sacramental theology, and as such will be welcomed by those who want to adhere to Catholic teaching yet still enjoy the passion of sexual union. Psychotherapist Popcak spends most of the book elaborating on the Catholic view of sex, citing various church documents and the writings of Pope John Paul II. He explains why sex is holy, how it differs from eroticism and why it is intended solely for one man and one woman who are married to each other and open to having children. In covering what he calls the good stuff, Popcak says restrictions are few. These center on the One Rule (a man must always climax inside the woman) and Four Pleasure Principles that deal with maintaining continuity between a couple's daily life together and their sexual relationship and respecting the dignity of each partner. As long as these guidelines are followed, Popcak says, couples are free to be creative sexually. He includes information on natural family planning (a Catholic Church–approved method of spacing births) and advice for sexual problems. Although Popcak writes in a warm, conversational style, he tends to overuse certain catch words and phrases, diminishing some of their impact. Nonetheless, his essential message makes this worthwhile reading. (Apr.)
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From the Publisher

What People Are Saying about HOLY SEX!

"Some books are worth reading because they make an important point, others for the sheer delight of the writing. Greg Popcak's Holy Sex! is both. Wherever one stands on the fine points of Catholic teaching about sex, Popcak reveals its deeply sensual core, debunking popular stereotypes of Catholicism as somehow anti-erotic. Think of this book as Thomas Aquinas meets Dr. Ruth, and enjoy!"

- John L. Allen Jr., Senior Correspondent for National Catholic Reporter "Looking at contemporary popular culture, one finds that sex is overrated and undervalued. Greg Popcak helps to set things straight on both counts. He explains with intelligence and humor what some have learned only through painful experience, and many have still not learned--namely, that the joy of sex is not to be found in `liberation' from moral principles, but in its unique power to unite a man and woman as faithful partners in the love-building and life-giving union that marriage is."

- Robert P. George, Professor, Princeton University

"Dynamic, faithful, funny, and informative, [Popcak] demonstrates how the Truth will set you free. Combining practical wisdom with the wisdom of the ages, Popcak leads men and women to the love they long for."

- Christopher West, Fellow, Theology of the Body Institute

"It is no surprise to see Dr. Popcak treat marital sex as a truly joyful thing. And why not? He clearly points out, God designed man and woman to communicate his love in their spiritual and physical union. If married couples could actually experience their love-making as an expression of God's creative, joyous, and renewing love, wow!"

- Most Rev. R. Daniel Conlon, Bishop of Steubenville

"Clearly, Dr. Popcak is a chaste, faithful, learned Catholic man with mountains of experience working with couples. I am confident that spouses who follow his advice will become holier and better partners. Those who are holier are certainly better lovers and thanks to Holy Sex! we now know the many ways this is true."

- Janet E. Smith, Father Michael J. McGivney Chair of Life Ethics Sacred Heart Major Seminary

"In the last four decades, too many Americans have been led astray by self-styled experts promising sexual liberation and happiness, only to end up with broken hearts and broken bodies. By combining theological insight and psychological wisdom, Dr. Gregory Popcak offers a different path to men and women looking for a way to find happiness and virtue in their sexual lives... [Holy Sex! is a] powerful guide for navigating the joys and sorrows of sex."

- W. Bradford Wilcox, Assistant Professor of Sociology, University of Virginia

"Popcak does a great service by practically developing the last chapter of Karol Wojtyla's (John Paul II) Love and Responsibility. Marriage is work... an invaluable resource for all married and engaged couples."

- Pia de Solenni, Feminist Theologian, Winner: Pontifical Prize of the Academies

"Greg Popcak is a wise and funny guy. He combines the ancient wisdom of the Faith with the best that contemporary science and compassionate human understanding have to offer in warm, generous, and practical insights that have already been invaluable to thousands."

- Mark P. Shea, Senior Content Editor, CatholicExchange.com

Product Details

• Paperback: 352 pages
• Publisher: The Crossroad Publishing Company (April 1, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0824524713
• ISBN-13: 978-0824524715
• Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 6.1 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (20 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #33,295 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #23 in Books > Religion & Spirituality > Religious Studies > Gender & Sexuality

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

39 of 42 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Not just a great book....an important book!, June 24, 2008

By 

SoccerGuy (Mingo Jct, Ohio United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Holy Sex!: A Catholic Guide to Toe-Curling, Mind-Blowing, Infallible Loving (Paperback)

There are many areas of discepency regarding what we think, or what we are told the Catholic church teaches and what the Catholic church actually teaches. One of the most well hidden and least talked about areas has to be the place and role of sexuality and sexual relations in the Catholic faith. This book couragously and unashamedly explores the true source, meaning, and purpose of our sexuality. It explodes the myth that the Church and sex are nearly mutually exclusive, and reveals the dignity and reverence that the Church places upon sex and sexuality not only for procreation but just as importantly for its absolute integral importance for creating and nurturing a deep, true, spiritual marital relationship. This book shows us that physical pleasure is indeed very good and highly encouraged by the Church in the marital relationship. Not in the same way that physical pleasure is presented to us in the thin veneer of eroticism that society inundates us with, but as a beautiful part of something much deeper and more meaningful.
Holy Sex!, despite the profound and wieghty subject matter, is a very readable and accessible book presented with ample doses of wit and humor. This book is well researched and built on solid religious, and psychological foundations.
To classify Holy Sex! as just a great marital/relationship self help guide, which it is, would however, in my opinion, miss the core of the message. The information in this book is meant not only to be helpful, but to be transformational. The heart of this book is a challenge to all of us. A challenge to understand that real love is not about us, it's about others. The real love from which everything else, including amazing sex, flows. If individuals are transformed by this real love, then couples are transformed. When couples are transformed, families are transformed. When families are transformed, communities are transformed. This is big stuff people !!

28 of 30 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars the BEST sex book ever written and no, I'm not kidding!, May 2, 2008

By 

anonymous - See all my reviews

This review is from: Holy Sex!: A Catholic Guide to Toe-Curling, Mind-Blowing, Infallible Loving (Paperback)

Whether or not you are Catholic, this book is the best I've ever seen on how to have a TRULY satisfying sexual relationship. It is completely faithful to the Catholic Church's teachings on sexuality and even if you think you know what that is, I think you'll be surprised to find out how much more there is to know!

This book is really engaging and treats its subject with both the respect it deserves and the humor which will encourage you to keep reading. It is practical as well. I think it would be a fabulous engagement or wedding gift. Everyone who is married or wants to be could benefit from this book.

Read it and find out what you've been missing all these years!!!

29 of 32 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent, orthodox, and healthy, May 30, 2009

By 

bookscdsdvdsandcoolstuff "bookscdsdvdsandcool... (USA) - See all my reviews
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Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Holy Sex!: A Catholic Guide to Toe-Curling, Mind-Blowing, Infallible Loving (Paperback)

This book is the absolute best on the market relating to the Catholic Church and her teachings on sex and sexuality. I have read Humane Vitae and love the document, which is prophetic. I have read Chris West's work (he is the man who introduced me to the Church's teaching) and have since read his critics, both liberal and conservative, including those who reject Theology of the Body itself as a liberal distortion. (I attend the Latin Mass, and there are a fair number of providentialists in the movement who feel that the Pope John Paul II's work abandoned the concept of "grave reason" in the Church's tradition. They say that NFP is a concept that should be rejected unless one could die in childbirth etc. etc.)

After tons of reading, I came across this volume. I am not a psychologist, I am a teacher with interests in music, theology, and history. As such I have recognized that while many people write and argue about the nuances of Catholic teaching vis a vis the immorality of contraception, very few write complete books that address not just the moral theology, but also the psychological ramifications of implementing the teaching in our lives.

This book has the best and most complete introductory section on the Church's teaching I have ever read. But more than that, this book addresses the common problems married couples will encounter when giving their lives to this teaching. While those who practice NFP enjoy a divorce rate of around 5% (FAR lower than the general population) that does NOT mean that practicing NFP is without its risks. As a practicing family therapist, Dr. Popcak has seen it all. He addresses these topics with charity and love that enable couples to see that they are not alone in struggling to implement this teaching. When we "sell" this teaching in pre-cana far to often the couples who do the teaching are very passionate and want to convince. Therefore they undersell the potential difficulties that couples will deal with in implementing the teaching. Therefore, couple who throw away their contraceptives may feel that something is "wrong" with them if they encounter problems. This book is the absolute best at handling this very difficult situation.

The section on sex itself is absolutely steamy. This honesty from the likes of Popcak and West has lead to some criticizing their work as overly romantic. A look at the generational differences quickly shows that these critics are usually much older and of a generation that grew up in a VERY different environment regarding sex and sexuality than Generation X and younger Catholics did. This book (and West's work) meet the young couples where they are. That is important. You do not have to give up your excellent sex life to be a good Catholic. A good sex life is psychologically healthy (so long as you are married and having sex with just your spouse, and are not using artificial contraception, and only abstain for purposes of preventing a pregnancy for serious reason).

I strongly recommend this book. It is the most friendly, most clearly written, and most complete introduction to the topic. A must read for every young Catholic couple, and every Catholic couple contemplating marriage.