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Home-Alone America: The Hidden Toll of Day Care, Behavioral Drugs, and Other Parent Substitutes
 
 
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Home-Alone America: The Hidden Toll of Day Care, Behavioral Drugs, and Other Parent Substitutes [Hardcover]

Mary Eberstadt (Author)
4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (18 customer reviews)


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Book Description

Why are there so many troubled kids these days, diagnosed with learning disabilities or behavioral problems? Why is child obesity out of control? Why are teenagers contracting herpes and other sexually transmitted diseases at unprecedented rates?

In Home-Alone America, scholar Mary Eberstadt offers an answer that’s widely suspected but too politically incorrect to say out loud. A few decades ago, most children came home from school to a mother who monitored their diets, prevented sexual activity or delinquency by her mere presence, and provided a basic emotional safety net. Most children also lived with their biological father.

But today, most mothers work outside the home, and many fathers are divorced and living far away because society promotes adult fulfillment at the expense of our children. Too many kids now feel like just another chore to be juggled—dropped off at day care; handed over to a nanny; left in front of a television or a computer; and often simply home alone, with easy access to all kinds of trouble.

Eberstadt offers hard data proving that absent parents are the common denominator of many recent epidemics, including obesity, STDs, mental health problems of all kinds, and the increased use of psychiatric medication by even very young children. Drawing on a wide range of medical and social science literature as well as popular culture, she reopens the forbidden question of just how much children need their parents—especially their mothers.

Home-Alone America issues a radical challenge to the way America’s kids are being raised. Like The Bell Curve or The Nurture Assumption, it’s a controversial book that many will disagree with, but no one can ignore.



Editorial Reviews

From Booklist

As if women didn't have enough to worry about trying to decide on the correct balance between careers and motherhood, and then worrying about their decisions, Eberstadt maintains that working mothers are responsible for rising juvenile delinquency, underperformance in school, childhood obesity, and a host of other maladies. To her credit, she doesn't let fathers off the hook, but mothers are seen as the main culprits. Citing research detailing the adverse impact on children of absent parents, Eberstadt makes a passionate, convincing argument that Americans have focused too much attention on the needs of adults. Nearly half of all children have no fathers in the home, and more than half under the age of six have working mothers, leaving young children to fend for themselves in day care, where they are exposed to all manner of illnesses and bad behavior. The results are children who act out in various ways and a society that drugs them or ignores them. She offers no "snappy solutions" but strongly urges parents to spend more time with their children. Vanessa Bush
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

Review

...Eberstadt does not apologize... -- Edward Wyatt, New York Times

...[u]rges all adults to think about the needs of children, and some to make drastic changes... -- World Magazine

Home-Alone America is a fine first salvo in what may be a changed war. -- Kelly Jane Torrance, Washington Times

A book that should be read by every concerned parent, pastor, and policy maker. -- R. Albert Mohler, Jr., President, Southern Baptist Theological Seminary

An intense meditation on what matters most... -- Maggie Gallagher, syndicated columnist

Goes way beyond the headlines to show the effects of absent parents on nearly every area of children's lives. -- Susie Currie, Weekly Standard

Mary Eberstadt has written an unwelcome book. That doesn't make it any less important or less necessary. -- Rich Lowry, syndicated columnist

Mary Eberstadt has written an unwelcome book. That doesn't make it any less important or less necessary. -- Rich Lowry, syndicated columnist

The great and unarguable theme...is that families are a very good thing and parental care is of decisive importance... -- James Q. Wilson, Wall Street Journal

[An] important, thought-provoking book. -- Myrna Blyth, National Review

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 240 pages
  • Publisher: Sentinel HC (November 4, 2004)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1595230041
  • ISBN-13: 978-1595230041
  • Product Dimensions: 9.3 x 6.2 x 1.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (18 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #241,942 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

18 Reviews
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Average Customer Review
4.2 out of 5 stars (18 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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76 of 87 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars Busy Moms & Dads pay attention..., November 10, 2004
This review is from: Home-Alone America: The Hidden Toll of Day Care, Behavioral Drugs, and Other Parent Substitutes (Hardcover)
Eberstadt actually focuses on parents (that's plural) both Moms and Dads, deadbeat Dads, as well as divorced parents who use toys and junkfood for short-term rewards or to compensate for the face to face time that they can't have with their children.

She talks about busy parents who use junk food, videos, video games, locked houses, and perscription drugs as substitutes for their attention.

She talks about the dangers that she sees with the early socialization of children before they're really ready. (i.e., putting kids in Daycare before the age of 3).

She talks about the dangers of kids who come home from school and are alone until parents return from work.

She also devotes considerable time to the rise in childhood obesity and how the above factors contribute to that.

This is certainly not a mere "Blame the mom" screed as some might call it. THere is a nuanced and deep look at parenting in these busy times.
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27 of 30 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars We all have a stake in this - so let's talk about it., February 14, 2005
This review is from: Home-Alone America: The Hidden Toll of Day Care, Behavioral Drugs, and Other Parent Substitutes (Hardcover)
There is a lot of noise in our society about our troubled young. And that is well because it is true. There are also an almost infinite number of suggestions on how to "manage" these problems: counseling, more counseling, medication, raising daycare standards, yet more counseling and more medication, and on and on it goes.

This powerful book asks a somewhat different question. What if the problem isn't the kids? What if their reactions are reasonable responses to a toxic environment of outsourced childrearing (to daycare and medication), of absent fathers, of transient relationships in their relationship role models, and in consistently bad advice given them on sex, careers, and marriage?

She points out the current themes in popular music are abandonment, hurt from missing parents, rage against parental neglect, and the need for oblivion to escape the pain of loneliness. It isn't rebelling against mom and pop anymore. It is more like where are mom and dad and why don't they care about me. This is sad and painful on all fronts.

Mary Eberstadt is clear and honest in her facts and analysis. She admits there is neither simple panacea nor even a complex solution. She advocates beginning with a new consensus that it would be better for both children and adults if more American parents were with their kids more of the time. I know that sounds simplistic, but it is not simple. Given the financial burdens most families have taken on, it is very hard to make something like this happen. However, if we decide we believe we need our kids and they need us and that time together is important, we can make adjustments in our lives to make that happen.

I hope this book is widely read and widely discussed in thoughtful ways rather than just the normal political yelling at the other side. The topic affects us all. We all have an important stake in this and we all shoulder some of the blame. So, let's get at it.
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19 of 22 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Something for Parents to Think About, April 4, 2005
This review is from: Home-Alone America: The Hidden Toll of Day Care, Behavioral Drugs, and Other Parent Substitutes (Hardcover)
Parents need to pay attention to the consequences of allowing caregivers other than parents to play a major role in raising our children.

Our kids are in trouble- from obesity to suicide to emotional and behavioral problems requiring medication. No one can deny this.

I would challenge parents to look at themselves and their values as they watch the decline of childhood around us. This is not an easy task- we all want to be comfortable and challenging the notions of our selfish or materialistic motives is not easy.

I should know. Not only was I a psychiatrist who worked with troubled families, but I have had to make tough decisions about my own professional career, money and family.

It is easy for this book to be dismissed as a conservative diatribe against modern feminism but it is so much more.

It is a plea for our children and our future and it deserves to be read.

There are so many options available to families now. I work from home and encourage other moms to do the same. We can save our children, one family at a time.
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Inside This Book (learn more)
Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
real trouble with day care, furious child problem, child fat problem, specialty schools, child obesity, teen sex
Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
United States, New York Times, Papa Roach, Good Charlotte, Washington Post, Tranquility Bay, American Academy of Pediatrics, Kurt Cobain, Camp Green Lake, Eric Harris, Lawrence Diller, San Diego, Sara Rimer, The Hidden Epidemic, American Psychiatric Association, Coby Dick, Fort Worth, Laura Schlessinger, Rolling Stone, Snoop Doggy Dogg, Tupac Shakur
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