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Home Fires Burning: Married to the Military-for Better or Worse
 
 
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Home Fires Burning: Married to the Military-for Better or Worse [Paperback]

Karen Houppert (Author)
4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (12 customer reviews)

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Book Description

January 31, 2006
As taps echoes across the cookie-cutter housing areas of upstate New York’s Fort Drum, the wives turn on the evening news, both hoping for and dreading word of their husbands overseas. It’s a ritual played out on military bases across the nation as the waiting wives of Karen Houppert’s extraordinary new book endure a long, lonely, and difficult year with their husbands far from home. Houppert, a prize winning journalist, spent a year among these women, joining them as they had babies, raised families, ran Cub Scout troops, coached soccer–and went to funerals.

The waiting wives include Lauren, twenty-six, whose Navy SEAL husband was killed in Afghanistan; Heidi, peace activist and Army wife whose life is a daily struggle with her conscience; Crystal, a nineteen-year-old raising two babies on a shoestring while her husband fights in the Middle East; Tabitha, who becomes the alleged victim of murderous domestic violence at the hands of her Special Operations boyfriend; and Danette, once an Army brat and now a devoted Air Force wife, who teaches, raises two teens, and fills her days with endless volunteer work.

Houppert shows that these women make some of the same sacrifices of their personal liberties as their husbands do and yet garner none of the respect accorded their spouses. Today, these military wives find themselves torn between an entrenched tradition that would keep them in a Leave It to Beaver family ideal and a modern social climate suggesting that women are entitled to more–a career of their own, self-determination, and a true parenting partner.

Meanwhile, the military concocts family-friendly policies and spends millions on new programs designed to appease military wives–and to maintain them as staunch supporters who will encourage their husbands’ reenlistment. The Army likes to say that it “recruits soldiers, but retains families.” And indeed, the future of the all-volunteer force hinges on the success of this mission. Though Army brass speak glowingly of the “Army Family Team,” this team is often deeply divided over strategy–and even goals.

A gritty, behind-the-scenes look at the tour of duty from the domestic front, Home Fires Burning provides a fascinating, fresh look at an enormous American institution and the families that live in its shadow.


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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

The daughter of an Air Force pilot makes a serious inquiry into the problems and pleasures of being a soldier's wife. Journalist Houppert's memories of her own military "insider" status and her keen reporter's eye combine to offer a nuanced portrait of the lives of a handful of women living near New York State's Fort Drum. Lauren can't believe that "the love of her life... had been lying in Afghanistan with a bullet from an AK-47 in his head while she had been shampooing the carpet"; Heather's husband lost an arm in Iraq and suffers from post-traumatic stress syndrome; Crystal supports her husband's decision to go into the Special Forces, but can't help feeling abandoned. In cool, objective prose, Houppert shows the military community's strengths (it rallies around its own) and its weaknesses (there is, in military terms, a "spousal aggression issue"). Wives host potlucks and fund-raisers; some agitate for better housing; a few even participate in the antiwar movement. Indeed, old guard aside, it's harder to be a "true believer" these days, Houppert says. Blind loyalty is no longer the answer, she argues, and military problems—from low morale and domestic violence to the abuse at Abu Ghraib—suggest an institution "out of step with American values." Houppert may not offer much in the way of solutions, but she raises important questions.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Review

Advance praise for Home Fires Burning

“Too often in my twenty-four years as a member of the House Armed Services Committee I saw reflections of a military attitude that said ‘Your family is your problem. If we wanted you to have one, we’d have issued you one.’ With so much written about the U.S. military, from history to strategy to memoir, it seems incredible that, until now, no one has turned a spotlight on America’s military families and the courage they exhibit every day in their supporting role. This wonderful book does just that!”
–Pat Schroeder, former Congresswoman

“Home Fires Burning is an indispensable addition to that very short shelf of books that takes an honest, clear-eyed look at the lives and sacrifices of military families. Through portraits of heartbreaking specificity, Karen Houppert makes the indisputable case that soldiers and their loved ones should no longer be paid in platitudes and patriotism. It is hoped that a truly grateful nation will make damn sure that Home Fires lights some fires of its own.”
–Sarah Bird, author of Yokota Officers Club

“Karen Houppert casts a sharp, sympathetic eye on the little-known lives of military wives–twenty-first century women in a 1950s world that is at once demanding and infantilizing, secure and incredibly dangerous. Her interviewees range from gung ho to openly rebellious–and sometimes both at once. An important book for our parlous times.”
–Katha Pollitt

“At last, a book about the unsung warriors of the All Volunteer Force: the families. Houppert, an air force brat, skillfully chronicles–among many challenges–the family stresses of turn-around deployments in Afghanistan and Iraq, the agony of combat and noncombat deaths, the isolation of an antiwar wife and the military’s self-serving struggle with escalating domestic abuse. A searing and sobering view behind the modern khaki curtain.”
–Linda Bird Francke, author of Ground Zero:  The Gender Wars in the Military

“When my husband was called to war, I had no idea what to expect. This book shows what it’s like for the women left behind. It provides an honest look at the uneasy truce among soldiers, wives, and the military brass who know that these women–the heart of the army–are critical to national security, but don't begin to understand them. If you've ever wondered what it means to be a modern military wife, I’d encourage you to read this.”
–Stacy Bannerman, human rights advocate and spouse of a deployed soldier


From the Hardcover edition.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 272 pages
  • Publisher: Ballantine Books (January 31, 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0345461703
  • ISBN-13: 978-0345461704
  • Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.6 x 8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 7 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (12 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,419,568 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

KAREN HOUPPERT is a contributing writer for The Washington Post magazine and also freelances for other magazines, covering social and political issues. As a 2008 Kaiser Family Foundation Media Fellow, she is currently working on a series of articles about drug treatment in Baltimore.

A former staff writer for The Village Voice for nearly ten years, she has won several awards for her coverage of gender politics, including a National Women's Political Caucus Award, a 2003 Newswomen's Club of New York Front Page Award--and was twice an ASME National Magazine Award finalist. She has won numerous fellowships, grants and residencies including the Kaiser Media Fellowship, multiple Nation Institute Investigative grants, a Casey Journalism fellowship, a MacDowell Colony residency, two Mabou Mines artist residencies, and a New York State Council on the Arts grant.

Houppert's reporting has appeared in a wide variety of publications, including The Washington Post, The New York Times, Newsday, The Nation, Salon, Mother Jones, Ms, Glamour, Mademoiselle, Redbook, Self, and Parenting.

She is the author of two books, a contributor to five, and co-author of the Obie-award winning play "Boys in the Basement" based on her trial coverage of the real-life rape in Glen Ridge, New Jersey--as well as several other plays.

Her first book, The Curse: Confronting the Last Unmentionable Taboo, Menstruation (pub Farrar, Straus & Giroux, 1999) is an investigation into the sanitary protection industry and cultural history of menstruation. Houppert's most recent book, Home Fires Burning: Married to the Military--for Better or Worse (pub Ballantine, 2005) chronicles a year in the life of various military wives whose husbands are deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan. An Air Force brat herself who grew up on military bases across the country, Houppert now lives in Baltimore, Maryland.


 

Customer Reviews

12 Reviews
5 star:
 (7)
4 star:
 (2)
3 star:
 (1)
2 star:
 (1)
1 star:
 (1)
 
 
 
 
 
Average Customer Review
4.1 out of 5 stars (12 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars Title gets it right, January 26, 2006
By 
H. Elliott (Springfield, VA) - See all my reviews
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Home Fires Burning really does look at military family life for better or for worse. Ms. Houppert does not sugarcoat the life of the military spouse like so many other books do, nor does she claim that military wives have made their own bed by choosing to marry someone in the military and therefore deserve to be unhappy. Given that such a small proportion of the population is being asked to carry the entire burden of the current conflicts - a book like this is important for civilians (particularly civilian defense leadership) to read so that they might understand the impact of the demands that conflict has on the society and way of life they claim to be protecting. I'm glad to see that Ms. Houppert is mature enough to say critical things about the military in a way that does not demean or patronize servicemembers or their families. We need more than parades, yellow ribbon magnets, and other trite penitance dished out by a complacent and disinterested civilian public. Military families need decent housing, good schools, and most importantly, the safe and speedy return of their loved ones.
On a personal level, this is the first book I've found that acknowledges the emotions and trials of women undergoing the strains of deployment. Other books, such as the oft-reccomended "Surviving Deployment" prattle on for paragraphs about keeping a log of your daily activities (as if any woman with a husband out of the country has the time) but offer only a parched sentance that vaguely addresses the nagging fear, lonliness, and frustration- feelings which the Army culture teaches us to keep to ourselves at great cost to our marriage and our own sanity. This book was a great catharsis.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Thank you Karen Houppert!, July 24, 2005
By page 7, I was hooked, by page 49, I was ready to write tha author a letter of thanks.

THIS IS NOT A "HOW TO BE A MILITARY WIFE" BOOK! If you want to learn how to read an LES, go somewhere else.

But, if you want to put the modern military wife into a historical context and see how, sadly, little has changed since the 1940s guides, this is an amazing book.

The author starts with a woman who has lost her Navy SEAL husband, and the casualty notification system. Then she moves into stories of living on post/base, long deployments, the expectations put on spouses and their behavior, the economics of military life, domestic abuse, PTSD and the struggle for any form of "outsider" or person who may not share the views of the majority in the military.

This book was a welcome breath of fresh air for any military spouse who gets frustrated with the limitations that a military career can often cause for the "dependent".

The stories of women are interwoven with research and statistics effortlessly.

Again, this is... well, it is an anthropological study of what it is like to be a woman married to an active duty military member in this day and age, with frequent deployments to the middle east, with the political atmosphere in the US being what it is, and the struggle that comes between the three ends of the triangle described in the book. We're supposed to step aside and let Uncle Sam come first in our marriages... but at what cost?

I think every commander and NCO should have this as required reading before they schedule their first FRG meeting.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent read!, June 30, 2005
Great insight into how the other half of today's military couples are coping when their partners are shipped off to war. Because of her own background as a military brat, Houppert knows the right questions to ask of the military AND of the wives left behind and has the credibility to tell these women's stories. I loved reading this book, especially the conclusion where Houppert explains what she has learned from these military wives.

The timing on this book couldn't be better, anyone who has curiosity and compassion for the families of military personnel should read this book!
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Inside This Book (learn more)
Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
military wives, post housing, army wife
Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
Fort Drum, Fort Bragg, Special Forces, United States, Forest Nelson, Mountaineer Estates, Department of Defense, African American, Lieutenant Disponzio, Mountain Division, Abu Ghraib, Head Start, Family Readiness Groups, Veterans Park, Heidi Klaus Smith, Judy Hagenbeck, New York City, Vietnam War, North Carolina, Salmon Run Mall
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