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Home Team Advantage: The Critical Role of Mothers in Youth Sports

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I am a mother in my early 40's to five sports active children, a graduate of an Ivy League college and graduate school with a degree in psychology. I also played soccer in college. I state these facts hoping to give some validity to my opinion.

I read this book over the weekend after hearing author de Lench speak on a radio show in Arizona last week. This book is incredible!!! Finally a person who is NOT afraid to hang it out there about the abuse that IS going on in youth sports all across this country. She has identified and obviously done an amazing amount of research on the spectrum of abuse in youth sports; sexual, physical and YES emotional abuse. We all know it is happening--now we know what to do about it without further harm to our children by coach centered coaches.

Unlike a few of the other books available for sports parents, Ms. de Lench is the first youth sports parenting expert who writes from the heart (lots of great personal stories) and from the head (she works with sports parents every day). She did not write the book before her children played sports or even during their early years. She wrote it at the end of their college careers. For me there is nothing like tapping into the mind of a veteran sports mother for the deep wisdom and seasoned advice.

This easy to read yet sophisticated book should be given out by every pediatrician when every mother asks the question, "should my child play organized ball" ---the answer is empathically YES--as long as you know exactly what to expect and how to prevent serious injury, abuse and the typical problems that plaque the culture. Home Team Advantage will arm you with everything you need to know to be a successful sport parent. High Fives on this book!

I am raising five sports active kids and was intrigued enough to suggest and select Home Team Advantage as my book clubs (five fellow female attorneys) November read. Between us we have 21 children ages 6-19, who have been or for the most part are, in sports programs. We are each litigators practicing outside of Philly.

I speak for the group: If you are a mother or a father and you have children in sports you really ought to read this book. It may help save a kid's physical and emotional life if you do. We each agreed that the author is incredibly forward thinking in the way she synthesized her first hand in-the-trenches information, data and research to provide us with the big picture, especially with the chapters on politics, abuse, injury prevention and how to improve the culture of youth sports. Her depth of information and breadth of knowledge quite frankly is pretty brilliant and damn gutsy. We could not put the book down. Well written and ample interesting first hand stories. As a collective group we could relate to just about everything she wrote about. We talked for hours on each of her chapter topics. de Lench has the answers for all of our questions and concerns.

One negative; we each agreed that the phrase "hardwiring" (the new Politically Correct term for hormones) was used in place of hormones too often and gets a bit old. It did, however, inform us to the empirical data out there on the fact that boys in sports are very different than girls. Something we knew but could not confirm until reading this book.

Very enlightening read for anyone raising athletic children.

When my wife bought this book I was intrigued. I was one of those guys who thought that it was up to mothers to drive their kids back and forth to and from sports, pack snacks and fundraise but that was about it. After reading Home Team Advantage, I realized I was dead wrong: there is a whole lot moms can and should be doing beyond simply chauffeurs; that perhaps if we included womens's perspective, our kids would be having more fun playing sports. I am the director of a youth football league and will encourage all of the coaches to read this book-- simply put it is a blueprint for a succesful season.

As a high school teacher and a girl's assistant basketball coach with two sons in sports, I am thrilled that someone has finally had the courage to say out loud what many sports mothers feel: that youth sports are in the mess they are in, the reason that there are so many out-of-control parents, is that our kids' sports are organized and run by people who are focused solely on pushing children up the ladder to the pros. Like the author, I am convinced that our kids would be better off, have more fun, suffer fewer injuries, and stay in sports longer, if there were more females with an equal say in running the programs. Like the title says, moms can play a critical role in sports, but only if enough of us take deLench's message to heart. I am an English teacher and have to give this piece an A+ for the content, the research and the passion that runs through the pages.

I heard author De Lench talking on NPR national radio last week about this book and all of the work she has done (is doing) with preventing catastrophic injuries and death of kids in youth sports. I had no idea what I was in store for when I read the book. In fact her advice may just save my kids lives. And, the chapter on Preventing Child Abuse in youth sports is another must read. Again, I now know that the hollering that one coach does to my 6 year old and his team mates is downright abuse. Better yet, I know (from her lessons) how to advocate for my kids to keep them emotionally safe and physically sound. I found her chapter on how to start a new team to be FABULOUS! Bravo-De Lench-You go girl! Kids were being excluded so she rallied her parent pals and started their own all-inclusive group with rules that we all would die for--no bad mouthing eachother, open dialog with the coaches, all kids play the same amount of time (coaches kids included), etc.

The chapter on Politics is a must read! And, the one on parenting/coaching girls and theother on how to parent boy athletes is very interesting.

The only folks who won't love this book are the bad coaches who are nervous that we all will become so well educated that they may lose their coaching jobs.

We all hear about the sports moms who spend most of their time chasing after and picking up their kids. But what IS the role of all those mothers of kids in youth sports?

In HOME TEAM ADVANTAGE: THE CRITICAL ROLE OF MOTHERS IN YOUTH SPORTS, Brooke de Lench looks beyond the minivan-chauffeuring, frazzled women behind children's athletics. In this culmination of experience and research, de Lench examines everything from when to register kids for sports to how to handle bad coaching situations.

This wonderful resource is divided into three major sections: "Part I: The Role of Sports Mothers in the Family"; "Part II: Sports Mothers, Coaches, and Other Parents"; and "Part III: What Mothers Can Do to Reform Youth Sports."

Part I steps mothers through the process of getting children started in sports. Knowing what sport(s) to register your child in is just as important as determining a good age to begin. Also discussed are differences between boys and girls, the need for balancing family schedules, preventing abuse, and dealing with injuries and injury prevention.

Part II addresses the ever-growing concerns over abusive coaches and parents, as well as ways to handle such situations.

Part III gives great tips for mothers (and fathers) to advocate for their kids. Mothers can and should take active roles in their kids' sports. Besides driving and providing snacks, there are many more ways to contribute, even if a mom is a busy professional.

The material in this book is concise and well written. Some themes are repeated throughout the book, but these are important ideas that cannot be expressed enough (such as whether the kids are having fun, safety, and so on).

While this book is directed at mothers, this is a valuable resource that all parents of youth athletes should have, and it should be required reading for coaches and staff. Do not miss out on Brooke de Lench's wonderful contribution to the world of youth sports.

Reviewed by Christina Wantz Fixemer

9/26/2006

As a mother of two sports-active children and a school nurse my reaction after reading this book was, "It's about time!" First, it is the first sports parenting book I have read written by a mother specifically for sports mothers. Second, no other book of its kind is as well-researched (just one look at the twenty-page long bibliography shows that the author has really done her homework!). Third, it is covers all the bases and discusses all the hot button issues (cutting, elite teams, early specialization, how to talk to a coach etc.). It gives moms practical advice in clear, concise, easy-to-read terms on how to make her child's sports experience safe and fun-filled (as a nurse, I was particularly impressed with the chapter on safety). But, fourth, and most importantly, it looks at the crisis in youth sports - the win-at-all costs attitude, the cutthroat competition for spots on elite and high school teams, the epidemic of overuse injuries, the rising tide of physical, emotional and sexual abuse of youth athletes - in a new way. Instead of seeing parents as the problem, de Lench sees parents, particularly mothers, as the solution. She argues, convincingly in my view, that if more mothers were coaches, more mothers were on boards of directors, the culture of youth sports would change for the better. This book just may be the "Call to Arms" that sports mothers need.

This book is a "must read" for any parent whose child is involved in youth sports at any level. It is really like a survival guide and was full of some great advice and ideas that made alot of sense. It makes life easier too when you know that you are not alone in a particular situation, as there obviously needs to be some serious reform in high school sports in my opinion. Ms. de Lench deserves alot of praise for tackling this difficult issue head on and gives many of us parents out there a much needed voice!!

i got this for my wife. she is already very involved and i thought this would do 2 things; confirm her hard work and appreciation from both our kids and their teammates, myself and other parents by showing how important she is; and possibly give her some additional ideas and support from other moms who put so much time and energy into their kids activities (not limited to sports but things like band, scouts, and other things). we are already doing a lot of things in the book and it is nice to see that she is contributing to the lives of not just our kids, but many others. this would be a great book for someone with small children just getting into sports or other activites to give some insight on what to really expect as far as time and committment, but also what a truly important role you can play in the developement of your children. you can't beat the price and it shipped very quick.

As a professional who has worked with hundreds of youth athletes, I can tell you that there is much more than what meets the eye in your child's participation in sports. The author leaves nothing out and has filled out my knowledge of what a young athlete goes through, how they think, and how we as adults can best help them use sports as a vehicle for growth and learning.
I have read a lot of books in this genre and Home Team Advantage is by far my favorite. I refer to it often.
Craig Sigl, the teen mental toughness trainer