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Homemade Sin
 
 

Homemade Sin [Kindle Edition]

V Mark Covington
5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)

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Product Description

What do a racing greyhound with multiple doggie personalities, a claustrophobic NASCAR driver, an obsessive compulsive prize fighter, and a Bull Rider with a debilitating fear of clowns have in common?   They are all better off dead.  Welcome to the Hotel Santeria, home of the Fugu Lounge where everything you order can kill you from the Blowfish sushi to the Bufo toads that are licked following your Absinthe shooter to non-filter Camels, and Cinnabuns. When Roland Van Owen, owner and bartender of the failing Blue Flamingo travels to Key West for a little life reevaluation and inspiration to remake his bar/hotel he meets Stinky the cat, defrocked minor god and current literary muse in Sloppy Joe’s Bar. Stinky quickly sets up shop in the dumpster behind the restaurant and pursues his dream of creating a zombie cat army to take over the world and return him to Godhood. Meanwhile, Hussey Payne, trained apprentice voodoorine wants to trade in her conjures for a medical degree but after when her boyfriend gambles away all of her tuition money she is forced to take a waitress postion at the Fugu Lounge and when finds Moreover, a racing greyhound, poisoned by Stinky with bits of Fugu out behind the restaurant she uses her Mambo powder to revive him.  The dog, now a zombie, survives and starts winning races. Dee Dee, seeing the dog win, hatches a plan and enlists Cutter’s help. She will lure athletes with psychological problems into the Fugu Lounge, dose them with Fugu and use Hussey’s Mambo powder to turn them into winning zombies and clean up betting on them.  Will Cutter and Dee Dee get away with their zombie making ways? Will Stinky succeed in feline world domination? Will Hussey ever get back to medical school?  Will Roland find love? And will Tony, the ex-mafia Fugu Lounge barfly, ever quench his thirst? 

Product Details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 499 KB
  • Publisher: Rebel ePublishers (December 22, 2011)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B006PCF1UG
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #192,941 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Average Customer Review
5.0 out of 5 stars (4 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars So a cat, a sociopath, and some voodoo walk into a bar..., February 19, 2012
By 
M. Covington (Minneapolis, MN USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: Homemade Sin (Kindle Edition)
First off, full disclosure: As my name indicates, I'm likely a relative of Mr. Covington's. I am not, however, him (despite having the same first initial) and bein' kin had very little bearing (if any) on my enjoyment of the book. If anything, this made me more apprehensive about the book--if it sucked, well...that's an awkward conversation to have.

Alas, I came through the read impressed. Covington has managed a story that is interesting, irreverent, and richly developed. I've noticed that the modus operendi of Covington's works is to make multiple threads of independently interesting characters and then bring them together in unusual ways. There is always payoff. Even side stories that seem to be taking place in the background have a nice richness to them and they contribute to the whole when everything comes together.

Homemade Sin is no exception to this. Roland--main character though he is--feels like he is being guided through the story along with us. This is no surprise since he's being manipulated by a brandy-and-cream-swilling cat muse with designs on taking over the world. There's a gold-digging, slightly sociopathic villainess, an earnest up-and-coming voodoo priestess, a cadre of retired mobsters (some purposefully losing mahjong to get some action from the ladies), and many other characters who *truly* are characters. Yet none of them seem gratuitous or overwrought. Each one of them could have taken the crux of the story as protagonist and we still would have ended up with a complete (though slightly different) story--because they all stand as characters instead of merely window dressing. Or, I should say, they're all interesting enough to want to explore their world independently of the protagonist.

You can't say that Covington doesn't get into his material. Within Homemade Sin there are fascinating little microcosms that become brief and entertaining explorations of psychology; a dog with multiple personality disorder, a boxer with OCD stemming from a tragic family life, a NASCAR driver with claustrophobia incited by a traumatic childhood incident. There are tidbits of voodoo heritage and lore. There are brief detours that wax (with non-tedious brevity) on religion and government involvement and health care. There are enough thrown-in references to literature to make an English major squirm in delight. None of these major clusters of information/topics, however, feel tedious or like information is being thrust at the reader. It all grows organically out of the experiences of the characters; in relevant places and at appropriate length.

Overall, Homemade Sin is definitely worth a read--particularly if you've ever been anywhere near the Keys (you'll recognize the crotchety snowbirds staring out at the ocean like zombies...literal or metaphorical) or just want to take a brief respite down South in your mind.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Homemade Sin by V. Mark Covington, December 29, 2011
This review is from: Homemade Sin (Kindle Edition)
If you like a novel where the beautiful, slutty, ambitious female predator gets her just due, this book is for you. Ever wonder if there's an upside to being a zombie? Want to see those who really control the world (e.g., your health insurance company) draw the short straw? Want to read about an evil cat with a God complex brought low ... or was he? Do you like it when a genuine good-guy gets the girl and wins the day? How about a Greyhound with multiple personalities stopping during a dog race to dance like a Chihuahua as he has visions of himself in a pink tutu? In fact, take all your distorted perceptions about odd things that make you titter and roll them into one delicious jelly roll, and you have Mr. Covington's newest novel, Homemade Sin. You will savor it; you will delight in it. Who would have believed buzzard puke could be so darn funny ... and interesting. Who knew voodoo was homemade sin?

I must say I did not expect the story that unfolded with such wonder before my eyes. The descriptions of Key West and other Hemmingway haunts blew me away, and I was fascinated by Mr. Covington's clever use of words and extensive vocabulary. Take the description of the Florida sky, for example: drunken charcoal-gray clouds, in the shape of beer kegs, staggered across the wine-purple sky like dark spirits coming together for a cloud coven. I loved it; I couldn't put it down.

More than anything else, I enjoy witty writing, like when the main character, Roland, finding himself caught between two unsavory characters, refers to himself as the dead meat in the middle of an evil sandwich. I laughed out loud when GD SOBs turned out to be Gods, Deities and Supreme Omnipotent Beings. And the bastardized quote, absinthe makes the heart grow fonder, brought a huge smile. These are just a sample of clever material salted throughout the novel; it was a joy to read.

While it is hard to boil down what I loved most about the book, I think I'd have to say the use of Tourette's syndrome by the evil vixen villain was just wonderful. Under the guise of having no control of her frequent outbursts of obscene words, she told people exactly what she thought of them and their actions whenever she felt the need. Did the villain really have Tourette's syndrome? I can't say for sure, but I can say her use of expletives seemed darn convenient. But isn't that the point with humor? Aren't the cleverest things you've ever heard based on something real? After you stop laughing at something outrageous, don't you say to yourself: That had to be real; no one could make that up! So it is with Homemade Sin.

I also liked the inclusion of aspects of Mr. Covington's life in the book, the aspirations of a writer, snippets from his earlier play and the little boy who discovers a secret world in his parent's liquor cabinet, to name a few. The humor is not all in your face ... some is subtle. My favorite in this category was when Cutter (a piece of work in his own right), who just finished berating zombies for being transfixed, staring straight ahead, oblivious to the outside world, eyes glazed over, etc., immediately sits down to watch television in exactly the same state.

There is no question about it, this is a five-star read.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Homemade Sin-- a divinely wicked "don't miss" by V. Mark Covington, February 15, 2012
This review is from: Homemade Sin (Paperback)
"...[S]ometimes things just plain go south. When that happens, the best course of action is to follow things southward."

With the insight of a Hemingway, Mr. Covington knows "south." From poetic Gulf panoramas to absinthe cocktails to NASCAR, his prose will keep you spellbound (no voodoo necessary).

We begin following wanna-be writer Roland around the drunken corners of Key West, picking up a de-frocked ("not that [he] actually had a frock") god in the guise of one sharp-tongued pussy along the way. The scene shifts to a couple lying prostrate on a lake shore in central Florida, playing dead to attract buzzards, drawn by the magical properties imbued in certain mushrooms which sprout from their vomit. Yes, that's right. Magical mushrooms growing from buzzard puke. Only you, Mr. Covington.

The young voodoo priestess-in-denial (Hussey) and her moronic-but-beautiful boyfriend (Cutter) will follow Roland back to his beachside hotel bar, along with an opportunistic and questionably Tourette's-inflicted sushi waitress with a penchant for poisonous fish (Dee Dee). And of course there's the cat/muse, Stinky, pulling strings behind the scenes and doing whatever he can to get his paws on some of Hussey's zombie powder...

With a cast of characters so deliciously & vibrantly over-the-top, the plot can only go south--er, thicken, right? Covington does not disappoint. Whether it's greyhounds with multiple personalities or clown-fearing cowboys. You'll be tempted to go through this book like a knife through hot butter, but slow down and savor, or you may very well miss some of the subtle humor the author slides in there under all the not-so-subtle stuff. This is funny on a cosmic scale.

Oh, and, Mark, I'm stealing that recipe for "Death in the Afternoon."
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