Customer Reviews

Homesick: A Memoir of Family, Food, and Finding Hope

5 star:		(17)
4 star:		(4)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(5)
1 star:		(14)

 

 

I have never read anything where the author is so frustratingly self-involved and yet so amazingly lacking in self-awareness. The whole book is a poorly written festival of whining.

The writer spends the book searching for a cure to one ailment after another--all using her parent's money. Anytime they don't automatically pony up with the money she whines until they give in (bad enabling parents, bad, bad!).

I was amazed that anyone could go through the process of writing such a book and not start to gain some sort of self-awareness. For example: Jenny complains that she needs an operation. The doctor does not want to do it. Jennie demands it. After having the operation she's told by some lay person that the operation was a bad idea. Jenny then rails at the doctor for butchering her. Has she forgotten that she was the one that demanded it against medical advice?

The saga of how she took more pain medication than she was supposed to and then got painfully constipated is another example. (Jenny, if you're reading, don't take more pain medication than you're prescribed, and if you do, accept the consequences, don't blame it on others!)

Then we get to hear how hard she works at getting better by spending weeks and weeks at a spa (yet again spending her parents money while contributing nothing to society--unless you want to argue for the Bush theory of "trickle down economics").
The final insane leg of the journey is a trip to South America (yet again paid for by money wheedled from her parents) to visit a healing guru. As much time or more is spent talking about what kind of souvenirs she bought as anything about her visit with the guru (who charges a fee for bottled holy water in the gift shop. Yes the healing guru has a gift shop!) Money wisely spent.

The whole book ends with Jenny saying she has not found any significant resolution to her quest but that she will continue to do basically the same thing she's done throughout the book over and over again until she finds what she's looking for!
The most unfortunate thing about all of this is that this book actually got published and that Ms. Lauren got paid an advance more than twice what most Americans make in a year!

This book has no insight whatsoever. Anybody who thinks that this could be a good book for others with eating disorders should know that it will leave the reader frustrated and with the sense that there is little hope for a cure even with more resources than 99% of the population. If anything, this book is a badly written portrait of self-pitying self-centeredness enabled by privledge.

Ultimately, I feel for Ms. Lauren. She is obviously dealing with a lot of pain. I just don't think that the book she wrote is of enough value to share with the world. If anything, it's probably done Ms. Lauren more harm than good because her whining must feel more legitimate now that it's in print. Maybe the final blame should go to the editor who believed that the Lauren name would sell enough books to turn a profit no matter how unworthy the content.

I expected very little from this book, to be honest. But how wrong I was. Each time I was about to conclude Ms. Lauren is a spoiled brat, she would surprise me with her actions, intelligence and most of all, her elegant and honest writing.

It was sad, however, to read about all the time and talent Ms. Lauren has wasted on her disease. She is clearly a sensitive and thoughtful person who on some emotional level cannot get past a desire for the perfection of an imagined life. Sad because so many women fall prey to this and end up ruining the natural beauty that comes from inner peace.

Not only could I not put this book down - spent all day Saturday engrossed - I have not stopped thinking about it. Ms. Lauren grew up with grueling expectations of beauty. Her discipline was Olympian and she paid a steep, horrible price for trying so desperately to control her body.

I am so thankful that Ms. Lauren was courageous enough to show the unglamorous side of anorexia. When I was growing up attending an all-girls' private school during the 1980s, anorexia was fashionable - the thinner the winner....We had no concept of nutrition, of muscle tone or of antioxidants and healing therapy. It was an era of laxatives, ipecac, vomiting and self-denial.

Unfortunately many of the books that came out about anorexia at that time- "The Best Little Girl in the World," "Second Star to the Right" and "Goodbye Paper Doll" - all made anorexia sound like a great way to get attention, fit into lots of clothes, and even find boyfriends.

Thanks to writers like Marya Hornbacher and now, Jenny Lauren,the uglier side of eating disorders is being revealed. Thank-you to Ms. Lauren. I hope she will keep us all updated on her progress.

My sister died as a result of an eating disorder. No one understood her. The sad thing about this book is that only through escapism has the author been aided.

I think that doctor's misguide patients, routinely. I did not care for this book though. I felt it was whiny and an unending pitious vent. I wish the author well in her recovery, but am sad I wasted the money buying this, "poor rich me" rant. The author should be thankful for the family support and the freedom she has enjoyed instead of focusing so intently on the crackhead, the sexual acting out, etc. She really has problems and I hope she finds herself or healing or anything good. I would not recommend this book as it has affected me negatively.

The author provides a harrowing insightful look from within of an individual suffering from the food disorder bulimia. When Jenny was ten she went to camp where she decided that she was to fat in comparison to her peers; she stopped eating until she was tossed from camp and her loving caring parents took her home. In ninth grade, Jenny, weighing under a hundred pounds, received advice on how to eat and lose weight: use ipecac. Over the next decade or so, she would continue her pattern of eating and puking until she wrecked her digestive system, something her doctors failed to understand.

Though gripping and incredibly discerning, this is not an easy biography to digest as .the author literally punished her body to remain ultra unhealthily thin. Still, Ms. Lauren furbishes warning signs that frustrated and non-understanding family members often miss and the medical community ignores with the typical solution being the chemical fix. The scary part is that it is obvious that her family, especially her parents truly love and care for Jenny, but though highly educated, they rationalize her troubles. Difficult to continue reading about someone in real life destroying themselves (this reviewer almost shut down after 25 pages because the horror of self-flagellation is so graphically real yet tough to swallow), HOMESICK should be prime reading for doctors, students, and families who are in denial or rationalize away the food disorder.

Harriet Klausner

Imagine this: You are a woman who once was an athlete and gloried in painting. Now you're in constant pain. At times, you cannot walk. Your lower body is numb and weak. You're unable to move your bowels. Within your butt, you feel a constant twitching spasm. Eating hurts. You can no longer paint. What a nightmare, right? Now, picture this: doctor after doctor dismiss your symptoms or refer you to psychiatrists. You even begin to half-believe everyone else is right and you are crazy. At the very least, you suspect you are to blame for your condition because of your long history of bulimia.

This is the hell in which Jenny Lauren finds herself. Jenny --- so stunning that she modeled as a child for her uncle Ralph Lauren's fashion line --- began to obsess about her weight early. At age ten, away at camp and missing her parents, she decides to starve herself. She spends her teen years and beyond fixated on food and her body size, binging, purging and compulsively exercising. Although she is hospitalized for her problem and receives family support, Jenny continues to struggle with her eating disorder.

Jenny Lauren's story lovingly describes her close-knit family, while not exonerating them for possibly contributing to her preoccupation with her body size. The Laurens seem beauty-conscious to an extreme. Jenny ruefully recounts family compliments that not only flattered her, but also pressured her to maintain an ideal appearance beginning at an early age.

Some scenes chill the reader: fifteen-year-old Jenny binging on cookies and then sneaking from the family apartment with a bag and a roll of toilet paper to try to vomit in the stairwell, so her parents won't overhear her purging attempts. Or this incident: Jenny has gorged on food. She goes into a drugstore, buys ipecac and takes it. She walks home, an elegant teen in immaculate rich girl garb, vomiting every few steps.

In her twenties Jenny plunges into a year of unrelenting and crippling physical agony. Doctors blame her symptoms on depression, until finally a surgeon's x-rays reveal Jenny's small intestine has slipped down and is resting between her rectum and vagina. Her condition was most likely caused by damage to her digestive system due to her eating disorder. Distressing as this bizarre diagnosis is, Jenny is relieved to have a concrete physical explanation for her year of hell. She undergoes surgery, expecting to return to health but, sadly, that doesn't happen. Her surgery gives Jenny a new set of physical problems. Her life becomes a quest to seek relief and a normal life, while forgiving herself for the harm she's inflicted on her body.

While I read HOMESICK, I felt I was Jenny Lauren --- a terrifying, yet mesmerizing, experience. The same sensitivity that may have contributed to transforming a healthy little girl into an anorexic makes for a detail-laden, absorbing read. The author's grim tale is leavened with unexpected flashes of humor and hope.

Experience Jenny Lauren's riveting, tragic story and you may well join me in thanking her for her unflinching honesty --- and wishing her healing and peace.

--- Reviewed by Terry Miller Shannon

I was mesmerized by Ms. Lauren's honest, humorous and courageous depiction of her journey through life. This is not a tell-all, rather it is the complex story of a woman who feels deeply and expresses what it is like to grow up in a society where the pressures to be beautiful and thin over-take health and at times reason. I deeply felt for Ms. Lauren's struggles but with her self-effacing homour and poignant insightfulness I was drawn to her courage to overcome her pain and disease and to find the beauty in life and the people around her. This is a book that for me, touches on spirituality, the closeness of family (and the need to separate) the complex pressures of an unforgiving media driven society, and the journey of an intelligent woman who overcomes her demons to celebrate the beauty and richness of life. I applaud Ms. Lauren's bravery to tackle not only her issues with a consuming eating disorder, but for writing it in an honest, and at times hysterically funny way. This is a very important book, not only for young girls but for any one who has ever counted calories, struggled with chronic pain, abusive relationships, sought spirituality or is just interested in the struggles and journey of what it is to be profoundly human.

I liked parts of this book very much but ultimately was left with the belief that this grown woman now needs to get off of the mommy/daddy gravy train.

The parts of the book I liked were the parts that dealt with her childhood and the insidious development of eating disorders.
I also was amazed at her ability to be ruthlessly honest at sharing all of the ugly aspects of an eating disorder. She didn't try to sugarcoat her feelings or experiences. She is obviously a sensitive, loving and interesting woman. She has the potential to grow into a good author.

However, one feels that Jenny Lauren has simply not grown up. The world is black or its white. Either healers are good (alternative medicine) or bad (western medicine). Her folks can only be 'good,' she genuinely can't see that the enmeshment between her and her folks is part of the problem. This is so striking because it is OBVIOUS to anyone who is reading the book. She needs to be at the point where she can write about how wonderful her parents are, how wonderful they tried to be but ultimately, how her relationship with them is destructive for her. Sometimes good intentions lead to bad outcomes but usually it takes an adult with an adult's perspective to see that.

I was on my own at 18 and all I could about through part of this book was that she needs to be on her own and not financially dependent on her parents. My guess is that as long as her parents pay her way in this world, true growth will not be possible.

This is a memoir written by Jenny Lauren (of Ralph Lauren fame)in which she describes the deep pain food has caused her in her life.

I admire Jenny for being so honest with us and sharing her story. I honestly felt in physical pain when she would describe her symptoms and tell of her pain.

I also deeply admire her for being so forthcoming about her struggle with food, bulimia and binges. On this note, though, I don't feel as though the book really gives us the path which Jenny took to go into recovery of this disease. Towards the midlle to end of the book, food becomes less obvious (which is great) but we never do quite find out why.

THE ONE major flaw with this memoir. THE TONE IS TOO WHINNY!! It was quite a turn off to me. Although I know the author was not intentionally doing it, she came across, at times, as a poor, little rich kid. It really turned me off to the rest of the story.

Still, though, I congratulate Jenny on her honesty.

I really enjoyed this memoir because it was written very creatively and candidly, not just as a boring linear account. Ms Lauren really dug into her own life and memories to write a book that makes you feel like you are experiencing her life and recovery with her. Sometimes it hurts because it is incredibly painful and dark,(I had an eating disorder as a teen that I wasted too many years on myself) and some times it is hard not too laugh with her because of her biting wit. I became nostalgic at times for my own childhood and how many occasions I think I could have done something differently too. As I read I felt I could relate to many of her experiences searching to find a sense of well-being, for hope and answers. I really recommend this memoir because it is not only a fascinating read but a sensitive book. Graphic at times, but thats what makes it so real and powerful. I was the most impressed by the choices she made to reveal things about her family, as well as her "fashion family" but to remain entirely loyal and show her strong love and eventual acceptance of what she grew up with.

For those unkind enough to take Jenny to task for her relationship to Ralph Lauren, it only makes it apparent that they have prejudice. And since when does the fact that many people have problems and have talked or written about them preclude others from telling theirs? Having read many hundreds of books as a literary publicist (and avid reader in general), this book could have been written by Anyone USA, and the memoir would be every bit as powerful, riveting, poignant and revealing. But that her life is further complicated by her relationship to a fashion icon and therefore expectation (whether actual or self-imposed), Jenny has the right to explore all that has shaped and informed her life. We all have become who we are through family, society, and cultural influences and how we react to our unique set of circumstances. I loved this book (read it in two evenings) and applaude the author for allowing us to share her very human journey, one that is far from over. Jenny's health is compromised, she is in constant pain--a high price for her mistakes and wiring. Anyone who would begrudge her the telling of her story fails the criteria in being a "human" being.