Review
"A brilliant work for educators, parents, and clinicians. I have used the book several times in my own classes." --
Gerald P. Mallon, D.S.W., Hunter College, CUNY, and author of Let's Get This Straight. "A real treasure trove. Pediatricians and teachers need to know this information ... vital to the well-being of the whole family." --
Pflagpole, The magazine for PFLAG "Some of the stories are the ones we speak aloud only when dark has come to hide our faces..." --
Lesbian Review of Books
About the Author
Mary Ann Cantwell, the author, is 79 years old, a former special education teacher and syndicated columnist, a contributor to the New York Times Op-Ed pages, and the mother of ten children, one of whom, Mike, her fifth son, is gay. (Of some interest to Washington State residents, she is the paternal aunt of Sen. Maria Cantwell.) She is a graduate of Butler University, with B.A. and M.S. degrees. Homosexuality: The Secret a Child Dare Not Tell is her second book. Mary Ann believes "it is the business of old women to do justice."
Ms. Cantwell got started on this book after her son Mike revealed that he knew he was "different" at a very young age, yet at the same time knew he had to be quiet about it. This came out in casual conversation when Mike was in his early 40's. Mary Ann was surprised, even though Mike had been "out" with her since his early 20's.
So the author gathered surveys from many gay and lesbian adults and parents of gay and lesbian adults, and found out that most gays and lesbians shared something along Mike's experience; yet their mothers generally did not realize their children's different orientation until the kids were about twenty; and the fathers reported not knowing until they were told.
Mary Ann was able to use her old family life columns, written for the Indiana Catholic and Record during the first 10 years of Mike's childhood, to find evidence of missed opportunities to provide her son with a safe acceptance of his possible orientation. Drawing on John Stuart Mills' essay, "On the Subjugation of Women," Ms. Cantwell also comments upon the link between patriarchal ideology and homophobia.