Honey Are You Listening?: Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder and Your Marriage [Paperback]

Rick Fowler (Author), Jerilyn Fowler (Author), Richard A. Fowler (Author)

Product Details

• Paperback
• Publisher: Fair Havens Publications (May 2002)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0966480341
• ISBN-13: 978-0966480344
• Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.6 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #539,451 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Discover books, learn about writers, read author blogs, and more.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

52 of 53 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Helps Spouse Understand ADD, December 16, 2003

By 

A.Trendl HungarianBookstore.com "What should ... (Glen Ellyn, IL USA) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (TOP 1000 REVIEWER)   

This review is from: Honey Are You Listening?: Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder and Your Marriage (Paperback)

"Honey Are You Listening?" is meant for spouses. Non-ADD partners in a relation are forced to live with the seemingly unorthodox lifestyle and perspective of an ADD person. The Fowlers relate through their experience (he's ADD, she's not) the challenges, followed by their suggestions. It is worth reading.

It is marketed toward a Christian audience, but other than a few "Praise God's," a few mentions about church, and a couple of minor allusions to applied theology, it is really just a book of ideas for helping manage married life. No one will find themselves offended by the religious statements; they are innocuous.

The ideas and discussion are great: Ironclad budgets, how to study, lifestyle organization, communication tips, anger management, understanding impulsivity, and children. It's strength is in communicating that there are solutions and processes for a successful marriage despite ADD.

Filled with anecdotes, a spouse might sigh in relief, recognizing that his or her problems are not unique, and that these issues are not just within their marriage, but occur commonly in an ADD/non-ADD marriage. These vignettes can bring hope to a harried reader.

Where the book is weakest is when the writing becomes cliche and cute, and begins to sound like a seminar. All the chapters begin with 'ADD---' as in 'ADDmitting Anger' and 'ADDvancing Through School'. If you've ever read any literature on ADD, you've heard this and the tales of the distracted, goofy husband. Taking the book seriously when it doesn't is not easy, and it takes away from the good sense the writers describe throughout.

For the reader looking to learn about ADD for the first time, this isn't your book. Read "Driven to Distraction" first, and then come to this one. It isn't too deep so much as it helps to have more grounding in what ADD is.

I recommend "Honey Are You Listening?" by Rick and Jerilyn Fowler. As the spouse understands ADD more, it will help love and a loving marriage flourish. The ADD spouse will feel more support and strength, and a little less alone.

Anthony Trendl
editor, HungarianBookstore.com

10 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars Not what I hoped or expected, July 23, 2007

By 

whitewave - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)   

This review is from: Honey Are You Listening?: Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder and Your Marriage (Paperback)

Note: This review is based on the original release of the book as it was all that was available at the local library.

I was excited to find a resource that dealt with ADD and Marriage. However, this book was not what I hoped it would be.

First, I felt that the author could be overly negative about his own ADD at times. It sounded as if he was struggling with some of his own feelings of inadequacy based on his ADD tendencies. Although living with ADD can be difficult I don't believe that it has to be such a negative issue and I think he could have approached it in a more positive light.

Second, the entire book was based on his own marriage. This would not have been a problem with me if he wasn't a clinical psychologist. As he dealt with other people with the same problems in his everyday life I would have found it more useful if he used examples from other couples as well as his own marriage. It was assumed that all ADD marriages are like his own. For example they often talked about how the ADD spouse is extremely right-brained and that the non-ADD spouse is extremely left-brained. However, in my own experience I have found that my husband has some left-brained tendencies and that I have some right-brained tendencies. I felt that there was too much of a push to label us as all one way or the other way.

Third, it sounded as if he were advising the non-ADD spouse to become a baby-sitter for the ADD spouse. He did point out that the ADD spouse should take personal responsibility for him or her self but the majority of the solutions were about how the non-ADD spouse can help "fix" the problems of the ADD spouse.

I did find a few helpful items within the book; however, only a few paragraphs of helpful information doesn't warrant a purchase of this book.

On a positive note, I did like the fact that his wife had written parts of the book. I would have enjoyed hearing more from her just as a way to balance the marriage advice given instead of having most of it written from one perspective.

10 of 11 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Definitely explains things, but..., November 4, 2006

By 

California Mom - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Honey Are You Listening?: Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder and Your Marriage (Paperback)

It was a definite relief to read examples and "symptoms" that I've been dealing with in my marriage, and this book does help me understand where my spouse is coming from. As another reviewer said, it does have religious references peppered throughout, but they are from the perspective that this is the author's interest and hobby. It could as easily have been Greek mythology or basketball, it was that inoffensive and not at all pushy. My biggest concern with the book is feeling that the author at times is telling me to just paste on a smile and deal with some of our biggest problems in a positive and supportive manner, as if I just have to take it, rather than the ADD spouse might need to work on his/her behavior a bit more. Since the author does have ADD and does have a very meek and supportive wife, I'm wondering if that's supposed to be his idea of the "ideal" partnership, rather than having BOTH partners work together to meet in the middle. I preferred "A.D.D. and Romance: Finding Fulfillment in Love, Sex, & Relationships" by Jonathan Halverstadt (that author also has ADD).