Honor Thy Children: One Family's Journey to Wholeness [Paperback]

Molly Fumia (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: February 2000

The inspirational account of a Japanese-American family's triumph in the face of the death of their three children, two from AIDS and a third the victim of a tragic drive-by shooting, Honor Thy Children chronicles the creation, devastation, and remarkable resurrection of the Nakatanis - who journey from unimaginable grief to healing.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

This heartbreaking story of a Japanese American couple who experienced the tragic deaths of all three of their children-two from AIDS, one a murder victim-records the family's trajectory from homophobia and denial to emotional healing. Alexander Nakatani, a San Jose, Calif., social worker, and his wife, Jane, an elementary school teacher, grew up in Hawaii in a culture that prized reticence, hard work, denial of self. They virtually disowned their firstborn son, Glen, upon learning he was gay. Troubled, sullen, secretive, raised by parents who feared he was not "normal," Glen left home in 1977 at age 15, living on college loans and forged checks; he died of AIDS in 1990. Greg, the middle son, a macho, heterosexual engineering student, was shot to death in 1986 in a dispute with an illegal Mexican immigrant over a car. The Nakatanis were initially horrified to discover that Guy, their youngest son, was gay, but anger and shame were gradually supplanted by unconditional love. Diagnosed HIV-positive, Guy became a health educator, lecturing at schools and businesses on the dangers of HIV and of homophobic ignorance-with his father at his side as a fellow speaker. Wheelchair-bound and partly blind from AIDS complications, Guy, 26, died in 1994. Skillfully using letters, interviews, conversations and oral testimony, Fumia, author of previous books on grieving, gives her moving study of family dynamics complexity.
Copyright 1996 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Library Journal

When Fumia (Safe Passage, Conari, 1992) was asked by the late HIV/AIDS activist Guy Nakatani to tell the story of his family and himself, she did not know she would become both chronicler and catalyst. Of Al and Jane Nakatani's three sons, one had been murdered, one had died of AIDS, and the third, Guy, was also dying of that disease. Fumia's probing reveals the dysfunction and homophobia that led to the destruction of this Japanese American family, as well as their triumph over these obstacles even as death approaches. Written with compassion, humor, and a minimum of sentimentality, the book is a heartbreaking, riveting study that works both as a moving testament to human endurance in the face of tragedy and as a graphic caution against the physical and psychological ravages of homophobia and AIDS. Recommended for gay studies collections in academic and public libraries.?Richard Violette, Social Law Lib., Boston
Copyright 1997 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 336 pages
• Publisher: Conari Press (February 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1573241989
• ISBN-13: 978-1573241984
• Product Dimensions: 9 x 5.7 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (14 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #214,310 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #27 in Books > Gay & Lesbian > Parenting & Families

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A moving must read!!, October 11, 2004

By 

Sabrina Roberts (Orlando, Florida United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Honor Thy Children: One Family's Journey to Wholeness (Paperback)

I first picked up this book almost by accident at a bargin bookstore in the mall one day

I read the cover and was curious why it said honor thy children and what were the stories behind the people on the cover

ThenI sat down and read it , and I was moved to tears!!

It gives a moving yet brutal picture about a family's stuggles. I can even imagine how devastating it would be to loose all 3 children

What makes this book so interesting is that is is told from the point of veiw of the parents that last surviving child guy and the author and all 3 points of view sucks you into their world their joys and thier pain.

It also eduacated me about AIds, and aids prevention not only in practices but in mindset

As a young woman who is in the era of the Aids epidemic this book as shown me the importance of holding your own life scared and to protect oneself from this disease by becoming informed

I am apart of my colleges gay straight alliance and my first instinct from reading this book is that I have to donate it to the library because is wass too sad for me personally to read again , but if someone else could get what I got from this book then that would be great

The book also gives a look about the 2 gay son's different views on being gay men, and how that realization changes thier lives forever

I suggest that you read this book because this is a true life real glimps of am american family and what they go thorugh as human beings, it will move the unmovable , inform us about other people, and touch us

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The most beautiful and devastating book that I've read...., July 27, 1998

By A Customer

This review is from: Honor Thy Children: One Family's Journey to Wholeness (Hardcover)

It's been said: "There are people who take the heart out of you, and there are people who put it back."

Al and Jane Nakatani have turned their hearts inside out for the world to see...and Molly Fumia, as their story's conduit, treats those hearts with the tenderest, utmost respect. I find it difficult to convey how deeply moved I am by the infinite losses this family has suffered, and by the love and blessings that they have chosen to offer the world out of their broken-open hearts. *Please* read this book, and follow its most courageous lead: Honour your children, whoever they may be!

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A must read., June 5, 1998

By A Customer

This review is from: Honor Thy Children: One Family's Journey to Wholeness (Hardcover)

This story hit home for me. We like to believe we are so accepting in this society and that we always do what is best for our children. This story takes place in very recent history. The familiarity of the setting was profound for me.I graduated the same year as Guy Nakatani and went to the neighboring high school. A lot of my friends say they knew him. I didn't . Even in 1986, in San Jose, it was not acceptable to be gay. Most of us didn't discuss it, if we did we made fun of people. Looking back, I can see that a lot of mistakes were made out of ignorance. As a new parent myself, my heart will always be with Jane and Al. I was so proud of this family for sharing their story with all of us who needed to hear it. And an extra thanks to Molly Fumia for bringing it to us.