Customer Reviews

Honor Thy Children: One Family's Journey to Wholeness

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I first picked up this book almost by accident at a bargin bookstore in the mall one day

I read the cover and was curious why it said honor thy children and what were the stories behind the people on the cover

ThenI sat down and read it , and I was moved to tears!!

It gives a moving yet brutal picture about a family's stuggles. I can even imagine how devastating it would be to loose all 3 children

What makes this book so interesting is that is is told from the point of veiw of the parents that last surviving child guy and the author and all 3 points of view sucks you into their world their joys and thier pain.

It also eduacated me about AIds, and aids prevention not only in practices but in mindset

As a young woman who is in the era of the Aids epidemic this book as shown me the importance of holding your own life scared and to protect oneself from this disease by becoming informed

I am apart of my colleges gay straight alliance and my first instinct from reading this book is that I have to donate it to the library because is wass too sad for me personally to read again , but if someone else could get what I got from this book then that would be great

The book also gives a look about the 2 gay son's different views on being gay men, and how that realization changes thier lives forever

I suggest that you read this book because this is a true life real glimps of am american family and what they go thorugh as human beings, it will move the unmovable , inform us about other people, and touch us

It's been said: "There are people who take the heart out of you, and there are people who put it back."

Al and Jane Nakatani have turned their hearts inside out for the world to see...and Molly Fumia, as their story's conduit, treats those hearts with the tenderest, utmost respect. I find it difficult to convey how deeply moved I am by the infinite losses this family has suffered, and by the love and blessings that they have chosen to offer the world out of their broken-open hearts. *Please* read this book, and follow its most courageous lead: Honour your children, whoever they may be!

This story hit home for me. We like to believe we are so accepting in this society and that we always do what is best for our children. This story takes place in very recent history. The familiarity of the setting was profound for me.I graduated the same year as Guy Nakatani and went to the neighboring high school. A lot of my friends say they knew him. I didn't . Even in 1986, in San Jose, it was not acceptable to be gay. Most of us didn't discuss it, if we did we made fun of people. Looking back, I can see that a lot of mistakes were made out of ignorance. As a new parent myself, my heart will always be with Jane and Al. I was so proud of this family for sharing their story with all of us who needed to hear it. And an extra thanks to Molly Fumia for bringing it to us.

This must be the saddest book I have ever read. HONOR THY CHILDREN is the true story of the Nakatani family of San Jose, California and what a sorrowful story it is. Jane and Alexander Nakatani, Japanese Americans, were married in 1960 and had three sons, Glenn, Greg and Guy. Two of their sons Greg and Guy were gay and died of complications from AIDS. The other son Glenn was shot by a Latino, someone he did not know, after the man dented the fender of Glenn's Mustang. Although the driver of the car was later convicted and went to prison, the shooter escaped to Mexico and was never apprehended.

Molly Fumia, married and the mother of six children, was commissioned by Guy in 1993 to write this family's story but soon became much more than an objective journalist. She soon found herself becoming one of the family's closest friends and was present at his bedside during the last days of Guy's life although she did not witness his death.

Alexander and Jane Nakatani were decent people and in many ways victims as much as their two gay children-- homophobia like racism hurts us all-- since they, like many parents over the globe did not in the beginning tell their sons that there was nothing wrong with being gay, that they should love whomever they would.

There are so many things wrong about this story and to feel bad about: the fact that the Jane and Alexander had difficulty buying a house they wanted because they were Japanese, that Guy permed his beautiful black straight hair and wore blue contacts in order to look less Japanese, that Jane used the "f" word early on in characterizing gay people, that both Greg and Guy had unprotected sex with no thoughts for their future, that Alexander did not nurture his sons as he should have because they were males. The list goes on.

What makes this book worth reading, however, is that this family learned from their mistakes and grew in love and courage. Guy devoted himself to making speeches to mostly high school audiences, warning them of the dangers of AIDS, and admonishing them not to become another statistic like himself. (He spoke to over 37,000 young people before he finally became too ill to continue his project. His father was there for him every step he took; and when he could no longer walk, Alexander pushed his wheelchair. In a passage that will break your heart, Alexander introduces Guy to the last audience he will ever speak to at Saratoga High School: "This is my son, Guy Nakatani, who has brought honor to our family's name."

"Honor thy children" is obviously a play on the words of the commandment to "honor thy father and mother" from the King James Bible. something that Jane and Alexander Nakatani ultimately do-- with a vengence. This very well-written book should be read by both parents and children, both gay and straight. When I finished it, I wished that I could meet these parents who lost so much and tell them how much their story moved me.

It was quite an eyeopener when I read this book. A great insight into less familiar cultural views of homosexuality and subsequent sacrifices made by those who practice. A sad story but extremely well written. These parents have my greatest respect and support for the losses they endured. A true testimony of parents love and acceptance. Very inspirational as well.

This is a must read. A fascinating, gripping story filled with life lessons. The Nakatanis are honoring their children with their display of brutal honesty and courage!
As a parent of a gay child, as someone who also grew up in Hawaii, the emotions of the Nakatanis are not unlike emotions that many parents in small town America might feel when their children disclose their sexual orientation. Although the American public's awareness of the diversity of sexuality is increasing rapidly, unfortunately, that knowledge is not widespread.

Can anyone describe this book in just one word? I know I definitely can't! I'm a psychology student and we used Honor Thy Children in the human sexuality class as a secondary text. Reading it was one of the most difficult yet most rewarding experiences in my life. It is as wonderful as Tuesdays With Morrie, another book of the same genre, incredibly touching and had me laughing uncontrollably at some moments and crying with wrenching sobs the next. This book is incredible and reaches to everyone who has ever lived through a death of a loved one, familial problems or questions about sexual orientation. I feel honoured to have the opportunity to meet the Nakatani's in the next few weeks and share our thoughts.

This story hit home for me. We like to believe we are so accepting in this society and that we always do what is best for our children. This story takes place in very recent history. The familiarity of the setting was profound for me.I graduated the same year as Guy Nakatani and went to the neighboring high school. A lot of my friends say they knew him. I didn't . Even in 1986, in San Jose, it was not acceptable to be gay. Most of us didn't discuss it, if we did we made fun of people. Looking back, I can see that a lot of mistakes were made out of ignorance. As a new parent myself, my heart will always be with Jane and Al. I was so proud of this family for sharing their story with all of us who needed to hear it. And an extra thanks to Molly Fumia for bringing it to us.

"Honor Thy Children" was the most difficult book I've HAD to read in a long time. The Nakitani's were forced to face their worse fears head-on...over and over again. With each terrible event or deep secret exposed, they had to question who they were, where they had been and where they were headed (as a family) in the future.

We all tend to think we know ourselves well, but we haven't begun to scratch the surface until tragedy strikes us where it hurts most. Molly Fumia tells this story with such honesty and compassion, that you begin to find yourself immersed in the saga of ignorance which becomes deadly to some very promising young men.

The emotional impact of this family's losses and how the parents try to come to terms with their regrets, had a firm hold on me through every compelling page. I'm relieved to have finished reading this incredibly sad story, but I will never forget the affect it had on me.

Whether you are a parent or not, this story will open your eyes to yourself. Don't miss this opportunity for enlightenment.

Molly Fumia, a great writer of HONOR THY CHILDREN, the Nakatani's lifes trials. An absolutely great story which hits you hard and is summed up by Alexander Nakatani on pages 312 & 313. Alex and Jane Nakatani are an inspiration and will greatly impact my life.