Honor Your Anger: How Transforming Your Anger Style Can Change Your Life [Hardcover]

Beverly Engel (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 22, 2003

Honor Your Anger is a clearly written, insightful look at a topic that concerns everyone. You can indeed learn to understand and manage your anger, and this book will show you how."
--Robert Epstein, Ph.D., West Coast Editor, Psychology Today, Director Emeritus, Cambridge Center for Behavioral Studies, University Research Professor, California School of Professional Psychology

"A critical first step for people who have trouble getting in touch with their anger and expressing it in direct and appropriate ways."
--Virginia Williams, Ph.D., coauthor of Anger Kills and Lifeskills

Do you act out your anger in destructive or underhanded ways? Or do you suppress your anger and turn other people's abuse and criticism against yourself? Anger is a normal, healthy emotion. But if it's channeled in negative directions, anger can do real damage to you and your loved ones.

In this provocative, healing book, psychotherapist Beverly Engel explains why your personal anger style may be hurting your relationships, your career, and yourself. She then shows you step by step how to transform a negative anger style into a positive one. Once you've discovered how to express your anger in healthy ways, you'll find that anger can empower you, motivate you to make important changes, and help you gain a sense of control over your life.

Editorial Reviews

From the Inside Flap

In this provocative and groundbreaking book, respected author and therapist Beverly Engel shows that anger is a normal and healthy emotion–and that the inability to recognize your anger and express it in direct and appropriate ways can turn it into a disruptive and destructive force in your life. Instead of demonizing anger, Honor Your Anger shows you how to use your anger to improve your life.

When most people think of someone having a problem with anger, they think the person has a "bad temper" or is unable to control his or her anger. But there are many other unhealthy ways of dealing with anger, including being afraid to express your anger, expressing your anger in underhanded ways, and allowing others to act out your anger for you. This fascinating book presents a proven, step-by-step process that will help you to discover your "anger style," identify its impact on your life, and learn to use your anger as a force for positive change. In Honor Your Anger you’ll learn how to create a new anger style that is healthy and life-transforming.

Sharing inspiring, real-life stories and positive action steps, Engel not only guides you step by step through the process of discovering your primary and secondary anger styles but provides the practical advice and emotional support you’ll need to:

• Modify or transform an aggressive anger style
• Turn passivity into assertiveness
• Recognize and modify passive-aggressive behavior
• Transform a projective-aggressive style
• Deal with other people’s anger
• Move beyond anger

Whether you’re prone to sudden violent outbursts, overeating motivated by suppressed anger, holding grudges, fear of your own anger, taking out your anger on those weaker than you, or any other destructive anger style, this straightforward and reader-friendly book can help. Honoring your anger can be one of the most important and liberating changes of your life.

From the Back Cover

"This book made me angry! Why couldn’t Ms. Engel have written it years ago when it would have helped me through difficult times? Honor Your Anger is a clearly written, insightful look at a topic that concerns everyone. You can indeed learn to understand and manage your anger, and this book will show you how."
–Robert Epstein, Ph.D., West Coast Editor, Psychology Today
Director Emeritus, Cambridge Center for Behavioral Studies
University Research Professor, California School of Professional Psychology

"A critical first step for people who have trouble getting in touch with their anger and expressing it in direct and appropriate ways."
–Virginia Williams, Ph.D., coauthor of Anger Kills and LifeSkills

Steven uses his anger to control others.Whenever things don’t go his way, he explodes and everyone gives in to him.

Tara has used food to avoid her feelings for so long that she doesn’t know when she is angry.

Marcie is afraid of her own anger and is always afraid others are going to get angry with her.

Rebecca never seems to get angry, but she has her own sneaky ways of getting back at others.

Do any of these people sound familiar? Do any of them sound like you? When we refuse to own our anger, or lack healthy ways of releasing it, anger can express itself in inappropriate, counterproductive ways. In this provocative, prescriptive book, noted author and psychotherapist Beverly Engel shows you how to change all that, guiding you to positive new ways to express your anger and transforming what was once a destructive force into a catalyst for positive change.

PRAISE FOR BEVERLY ENGEL’S OTHER BOOKS

for The Emotionally Abusive Relationship

"A good, solid treatment of an insidious but all-too-common type of relationship in which the weapons are words and moods rather than the fist, but which do just as much damage. Most importantly, Ms. Engel doesn’t just describe–she shows us the way out."
–Susan Forward, Ph.D., author of Emotional Blackmail

for Loving Him without Losing You

"A powerful and practical guide. . .that every woman should read."
–Barbara De Angelis, Ph.D., author of Secrets About Life Every Woman Should Know and Are You the One for Me?

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 288 pages
• Publisher: Wiley; 1 edition (October 22, 2003)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0471273163
• ISBN-13: 978-0471273165
• Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 6 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,236,224 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

27 of 27 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Great book!, March 4, 2004

By 

Christina (Morro Bay, CA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Honor Your Anger: How Transforming Your Anger Style Can Change Your Life (Hardcover)

I bought this book for my husband who has a problem controlling his anger but as I looked through it I realized that I had a problem with anger myself. I've been afraid of expressing my anger most of my life because I had a very explosive father. I didn't want to become like him and I was afraid of what I'd do if I ever let my anger out. Engel showed me how to get in touch with my anger and how to release it in safe ways. I feel so grateful for the sound advice in this book. It gave me permission to be angry and helped me to understand that I have a right to my anger.I've even been able to deal with my anger toward my abusive father. I recommend this book to anyone who has issues with anger.

18 of 20 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This book gives you control so you don't lose control, July 24, 2004

By 

.Jay Sidman "Webseers" (Brooklyn, NY USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Honor Your Anger: How Transforming Your Anger Style Can Change Your Life (Hardcover)

This book teaches that anger is OK if it is understood and expressed correctly. First know if your anger is justified. Then how not to act irrationally with long term damaging consequences. How to express you anger that is fitting to the situation, or not express your anger. And the book goes into the many diffrent types of anger. Written in a compelling easy to read style kept me riveted to this book.After reading this k I got insight and understanding about my own anger and others that has helped me to greatly. 5 stars for an underreviewed book

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars good look at understanding anger styles, August 28, 2006

By 

Debra N. Chambers - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Honor Your Anger: How Transforming Your Anger Style Can Change Your Life (Hardcover)

A good example of understanding,rather than controlling your anger. I liked the typology of anger styles and descriptions. I like the promotion of healthy anger, rather than managing anger expression. I would of liked more data on repressed anger. A better read than any other on the shelf!