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Honor Your Anger: How Transforming Your Anger Style Can Change Your Life Paperback – October 26, 2004


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 288 pages
  • Publisher: Wiley (October 26, 2004)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0471668532
  • ISBN-13: 978-0471668534
  • Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.8 x 9.1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (13 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #437,054 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From the Inside Flap

In this provocative and groundbreaking book, respected author and therapist Beverly Engel shows that anger is a normal and healthy emotion–and that the inability to recognize your anger and express it in direct and appropriate ways can turn it into a disruptive and destructive force in your life. Instead of demonizing anger, Honor Your Anger shows you how to use your anger to improve your life.

When most people think of someone having a problem with anger, they think the person has a "bad temper" or is unable to control his or her anger. But there are many other unhealthy ways of dealing with anger, including being afraid to express your anger, expressing your anger in underhanded ways, and allowing others to act out your anger for you. This fascinating book presents a proven, step-by-step process that will help you to discover your "anger style," identify its impact on your life, and learn to use your anger as a force for positive change. In Honor Your Anger you’ll learn how to create a new anger style that is healthy and life-transforming.

Sharing inspiring, real-life stories and positive action steps, Engel not only guides you step by step through the process of discovering your primary and secondary anger styles but provides the practical advice and emotional support you’ll need to:

  • Modify or transform an aggressive anger style
  • Turn passivity into assertiveness
  • Recognize and modify passive-aggressive behavior
  • Transform a projective-aggressive style
  • Deal with other people’s anger
  • Move beyond anger

Whether you’re prone to sudden violent outbursts, overeating motivated by suppressed anger, holding grudges, fear of your own anger, taking out your anger on those weaker than you, or any other destructive anger style, this straightforward and reader-friendly book can help. Honoring your anger can be one of the most important and liberating changes of your life. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From the Back Cover

Honor Your Anger is a clearly written, insightful look at a topic that concerns everyone. You can indeed learn to understand and manage your anger, and this book will show you how."
—Robert Epstein, Ph.D., West Coast Editor, Psychology Today, Director Emeritus, Cambridge Center for Behavioral Studies, University Research Professor, California School of Professional Psychology

"A critical first step for people who have trouble getting in touch with their anger and expressing it in direct and appropriate ways."
—Virginia Williams, Ph.D., coauthor of Anger Kills and Lifeskills

Do you act out your anger in destructive or underhanded ways? Or do you suppress your anger and turn other people's abuse and criticism against yourself? Anger is a normal, healthy emotion. But if it's channeled in negative directions, anger can do real damage to you and your loved ones.

In this provocative, healing book, psychotherapist Beverly Engel explains why your personal anger style may be hurting your relationships, your career, and yourself. She then shows you step by step how to transform a negative anger style into a positive one. Once you've discovered how to express your anger in healthy ways, you'll find that anger can empower you, motivate you to make important changes, and help you gain a sense of control over your life.

Customer Reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
5 star
69%
4 star
23%
3 star
8%
2 star
0%
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See all 13 customer reviews
I would say this is one of the best book I've read on anger management.
H. Kim
It gave me permission to be angry and helped me to understand that I have a right to my anger.
Christina
It is helping me understand things about myself and improving my communication skills.
Kary

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

35 of 35 people found the following review helpful By Christina on March 4, 2004
Format: Hardcover
I bought this book for my husband who has a problem controlling his anger but as I looked through it I realized that I had a problem with anger myself. I've been afraid of expressing my anger most of my life because I had a very explosive father. I didn't want to become like him and I was afraid of what I'd do if I ever let my anger out. Engel showed me how to get in touch with my anger and how to release it in safe ways. I feel so grateful for the sound advice in this book. It gave me permission to be angry and helped me to understand that I have a right to my anger.I've even been able to deal with my anger toward my abusive father. I recommend this book to anyone who has issues with anger.
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21 of 23 people found the following review helpful By .Jay Sidman on July 24, 2004
Format: Hardcover
This book teaches that anger is OK if it is understood and expressed correctly. First know if your anger is justified. Then how not to act irrationally with long term damaging consequences. How to express you anger that is fitting to the situation, or not express your anger. And the book goes into the many diffrent types of anger. Written in a compelling easy to read style kept me riveted to this book.After reading this k I got insight and understanding about my own anger and others that has helped me to greatly. 5 stars for an underreviewed book
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8 of 9 people found the following review helpful By Debra N. Chambers on August 28, 2006
Format: Hardcover
A good example of understanding,rather than controlling your anger. I liked the typology of anger styles and descriptions. I like the promotion of healthy anger, rather than managing anger expression. I would of liked more data on repressed anger. A better read than any other on the shelf!
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6 of 8 people found the following review helpful By love DOUBLE on March 4, 2010
Format: Paperback
I strongly recommend this book to anyone who is or who gets very upset whether they think they have anger management issues or not.

I used to think I was good at managing my anger, so I didn't understand why my husband asked me to talk to him. I thought I did talk to him. I just got quiet when I got angry. It's better than exploding like my husband did, right?

Well, after reading this book, I learned my way of "managing" anger was just as troublesome as the way my husband's. I fall in the anger style of what the author calls passive-aggressive. After reading this book, I begin to see how stressful it had been for my husband to live with me. I now also know why my career had bumped into so many relational troubles.

If I knew there were other ways of managing anger, I think my relationship with my husband would have been much better and my career would have been more successful than what it is now. I cannot change the past, but I can make efforts for the future, so I will work on improving my anger management style following exercises and assignments in this book.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Maple Moriji on December 3, 2012
Format: Hardcover
There is the healthy kind of anger and then there is the unhealthy kind. This is book is about the healthy kind. Anger is a natural biological reaction when we feel threatened. But what we do with the anger makes all the difference. Channeling your anger about injustices in the world by pushing for changes in you and others is a healthy expression of anger. Beverly Engel spells out how to do this in this very important book.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Wendy Clark on May 26, 2014
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Excellent book to help you understand the dynamics of other people and yourself and how to improve the balance of your emotions and multiple relationships you have with others.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By M. Schram on November 11, 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
IS GRETA FOR TRANSFORMING YOUR LIFE FROM THE INSIDE OUT..
A GREAT READ.. AND COMES AS A HIGH RECOMMEND FROM ME..
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More About the Author

Beverly Engel is an internationally recognized psychotherapist and an acclaimed advocate for victims of sexual, physical, and emotional abuse. She is the author of 21 self-help books, including 4 best selling books on emotional abuse: The Emotionally Abusive Relationship, The Emotionally Abused Woman, and Encouragements for the Emotionally Abused Woman, and Healing Your Emotional Self. Her latest book entitled, It Wasn't Your Fault: Freeing Yourself from the Shame of Childhood Abuse with the Power of Self-Compassion came out in Jan. of 2015. Engel is a licensed marriage and family therapist, and has been practicing psychotherapy for 35 years.

Beverly's books have often been honored for various awards, including being a finalist in the Books for a Better Life award. Many of her books have been chosen for various book clubs, including One Spirit Book Club, Psychology Today Book Club and Behavioral Sciences Book Club. Her books have been translated into many languages, including Japanese, Spanish, Chinese, Korean, Greek, Turkish and Lithuanian.

In addition to her professional work, Beverly frequently lends her expertise to national television talk shows. She has appeared on Oprah, CNN, and Starting Over, and many other TV programs. She has a blog on the Psychology Today website as well as regularly contributing to the Psychology Today magazine, and has been featured in a number of newspapers and magazines, including: Oprah Magazine, Cosmopolitan, Ladies Home Journal, Redbook, Marie Claire, The Chicago Tribune, The Washington Post, The Los Angeles Times, The Cleveland Plain Dealer, and The Denver Post.

She regularly conducts training workshops throughout the United States and the United Kingdom, for both professional and lay audiences. Recently she has been conducting trainings on emotional abuse for the United States Army, in both Texas and Georgia as part of their domestic violence training for staff.

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Honor Your Anger: How Transforming Your Anger Style Can Change Your Life
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