Customer Reviews

Honoring the Self

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This is one of Branden's masterpieces. A truly profound work in his field. Branden's insights hinge on knowing ourselves. Although this somewhat Delphic oracle sounds simple, Branden develops it very well. The book delves into the way we see ourselves and seeks to get to the root of the word 'self.' When we are alone at 4:00 in the morning and no one else is around - our real, naked, self - the question of who we are and how we see ourselves can begin to be answered.

One of the most profound insights is that some of our seemingly hard-to-solve personal problems with our 'self' can be traced to an undeveloped self within our psyche such as our 'child self.' In our development as a child, for example, if we did not go though completely a natural cycle of development, or if a piece of the development is missing, that particular self may be crying to be completed within us. To get to the root of some of our problems we have to peer into these undeveloped selves and try to reconstruct why it was undeveloped and attempt to relive the event(s) to compensate for the loss in development. Sometimes it is like trying to peel away the layers of an onion - getting to the root of a psychological effect - but the effort is well worth it. I can testify from personal applications of Branden's approach.

This is very well written, rational, easy to read, and based on sound practice from Branden's clinical career.

Two sections are absolutely incredible in this book-- that of "Rational Self-Interest" and "Death Anxiety". Dr. Branden uses REASON as his perfect way to convey his ideas. He is the first author in this area, that does not look at self-esteem as if it is something by itself that you "work on". Instead, he reveals what it really is, and how it comes about from REAL choices and actions; thus, it is based in reality. Dr. Branden's books are rare to me in that I read them almost continually; while other books are useful and good, I would put them on my shelf and re-read them only occassionally. I am ALWAYS reading at least one of Branden's books at any time, continually.

I can't say enough about how reading this book changed my life.
I have read several of Branden's other books as well as his audio tapes (which I also highly recommend). Without overdoing the hyperbole, this book has been the single most important positive phenomenon in my life. I have read MANY self-help books, but none have given me more access to myself or allowed me to liberate myself more.
The writing is dense, but never overwhelming. Sometimes a single paragraph would occupy my mind for hours as 'the lights would come on'. Branden is brilliant. I have read the book 3 times over the past 2 years and have bought about a dozen copies (even in Spanish) for friends.
He has some fairly strong thoughts regarding some religions that might put some people on the defensive, but there is truth in what he says.

Not a typical book on self-esteem as any reader of
Nathaniel Branden's books will attest. This was the first theoretical book I read of Branden's. I was first introduced to this amazing author's work in his action-oriented _How to Raise Your Self-Esteem_.

There is no exaggerating in saying _Honoring the Self_ is life-changing in it's psychological and philsophical implications. It explains so much in terms of what self-esteem actually is and how it can be understood to affect any life pursuit or relationship you can imagine. The most important pursuit and relationship being one's happiness and self-actualization. Chapters on fear and guilt inspire self-exploration to depths we often neglect.

The final section of the book offers a brief summary of the philosophical and political foundations necessary for a society of self-esteem. From an ethics of rational self-interest to a political economic system of free markets, this section is sure to provoke a re-thinking of some of your cherished beliefs.

It is an excellent foundation for further research into self-esteem, philosophy and economics. However, if your primary interest is just self-esteem, the author's _The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem_ would be your next rewarding read.

It is rare that a book will seem new and fresh with every read, but _Honoring the Self_ does just that. Read it twice, thrice, as many times as you can before it falls apart. Then buy another copy!

This book is wonderful and inspiring. It is about life, and contains the deepest spiritual and philosophical insights that can be had on the subject. Nathanieal Branden is an incredible and beautiful human being, and if you have not read any of his books then I hope this review will cause you to read this one, for Nathaniel Branden is unique and this book stands out.

I am going to relate some of my experiences. It will become clear why.

I am 22, and until about seven months ago most of my life since junior high has been distinguished with either overwhelming depression, or more frequently, intense anger and a vigorous hostility towards the human race. The only periods of emotional calm were made possible by self-evasive pursuits of joy, which permitted me to be unconscious of my fundamental disatisfaction with myself and my grotesque emotional dishonesty.

At a certain point this changed dramatically. Inspired by a series of emotionally tumultuous experiences that had come about because of an unfortunately convoluted relationship with a girl, over the course of about three days my understanding of myself and my relationship to reality underwent a fantastic explosion. In a truly unreasonably short period of time I formed an understanding of myself and other human beings and my relationship to reality with clarity and power and joy that I had never before fathomed was even possible. I have found it natural to say that in a very short period of time I "broke free."

And breaking free was euphoria! My level of fulfillment, my self-confidence, my sense of freedom, my sense of having the ability to achieve any realistic goal no matter how grand, my sense of optimism, felt limited by nothing. I felt a sense of purpose, an embrace with the infinite, that I think few humans have ever had the privilege of experiencing.

This euphoric state gradually declined over the following weeks, but since then my emotional response to existence itself has been fundamentally different. Every day, I feel like I exist a little bit more.

The reason this personal experience is directly relevant to Honoring the Self is because all the psychological and philosophical insights I gained are in this book, written much more elegantly and concretely than I previously would have thought possible. The ideas in this book are powerful. Reading this book was very much like a refinement in words of lessons of life I had learned and am still learning every day.

It is obvious to me that Nathaniel Branden is a very rare human being who has put into words the means of human emotional fulfillment as clearly and straightforwardly as possible. If I had not had the experience that blessed me with a few moments of spiritual euphoria, but instead had read this book, then my understanding of the same things I understood as a result of that event would have been an inevitable occurrence, only perhaps less suddenly.

And this is why I emphatically recommend this book to every member of the human race.

After only getting through half of Branden's book, I literally wept and felt as if I weight I had been carrying around for years had suddenly been lifted from my shoulders. I have many, many self help books; however, never have I read a book that allowed me to see myself so clearly. I have so many Post-It notes throughout this book and I have already gone out tonight to buy it for a friend. An example of the power of the author's words is an understanding that in every instance of self-esteem anxiety, there is a conflict in the form of "I must/should have" versus "I cannot/did not," Branden states, "there is always a conflict between, on the one hand, some value imperative that is tied, in a critical and profound way, to the person's self-appraisal and inner equilabrium, and, on the other, some failure, inadequacy, action, emotions, desire, or fantasy that the person regards as a break of that imperative..." When I am suffering an anxiety attack or become overwhelmed at the thought of something, it is usually this clash between these two - the value imperative and feelings of inadequacy. It makes much more sense if you RUN out and buy this book. Or, an explanation of "happiness anxiety" - never spoken about, but truly explained here well. As I said, this book has literally changed my life and given my life back to me.

Seldom has a book, or an author, had such an impact on me as this one. Branden shows so clearly how we can achieve self-worth, self-acceptance,and it opens our eyes on how we stand in our own way sometimes. All those hidden patterns are revealed, and suddenly everything seems so clear! I highly recommend this book to anyone who's ready for finding their inner confidence, peace and calm.

In the early 90's, after I decided to go on a self-actualization quest, I gratefully discovered Nathaniel Branden.

And I read 9 of his books, within the same year, as I documented everyday, whatever came to my mind.

Recently, I had the pleasure of scanning through those old documents. I am so very happy to have read his books.

Looking back, the most important thing that I believe that I learned, in reading this book, my favorite amongst those that I have read by Branden, requires me to preface this by saying that I grew up in an environment where thinking for yourself was punishable in the worst of ways.

The point in which I picked up Branden's books, and this one in particular was when I told myself that those childhood messages were "junk."

I knew that through reading books there were some answers that I had decided that I couldn't find any other place.

I gained from reading this book, to recognize the difference between what I want and what I need.

That marked a huge step in my life's journey. Because then I had to study what kept me from owning those 2 basic parts of being human.

I learned through reading this book to not only look at my history, but to also explore who everyone in my life was, and who they are now - I became a scientist in a human lab, prepared to own, admit, experience and express my feelings, in the present moment.

And oh did this become comfortable.

Read this book to speak through your authentic voice.
It will require you to be patient with yourself, and to parent yourself in a way that you have never been parented before.

Honor everything about who you are, the "good," "bad," and in between.

Ask youself who gave those labels to you. Then ask youself if those are the labels that fit you now.

You will come to enjoy the journey of being here for the purposes of why you are sent here.

What makes Nathaniel Branden different from many of his peers is his very rational objective approach to psychology. From this philosophical basis Dr Branden has developed a fascinating insight into what self esteem actually is and how one develops it (or fails to!)

Excellent chapters on death anxiety, self sacrifice and the society appropriate to the development of self esteeem round off the best book in the genre I've read (with the exception of The Six Pillars of Self Esteem by the same author)

One of life's must read books! If you enjoyed Dr. Peck's "The Road Less Traveled" then you are ready to graduate with "Honouring the Self". It is a roadmap for the soul as well as the mind. It speaks rationally and scientifically as for the reasons we should respect and honour ourselves in order to live a more fuller, happier, and joyous life. I cannot speak more highly of this author or of this book! It is not popcorn psychology but deep philosophical reasoning and common sense. It will get you thinking but more importantly "feeling". It will direct you on the road to self-respect, self-esteem, self-love, as well as peace with your fellow man