Customer Reviews

Honour Killing: Stories of Men Who Killed

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In honour killing, the victims are not only those who are killed, but also those who killed. Ayse Onal takes us into the lives of the men who committed these killings. So in a way its behind the scenes and into the psyche of those who thought such drastic measures were required to protect their honour.

The first story takes us into the life of a girl called Remziye who wanted to escape the life she saw her mother living. She didn't want to be someone whose only purpose was to serve her husband. A boy called Ismael provided a opportunity to live a life she wanted and they both gradually fell in love with each other. But her marriage was already fixed to someone else and to escape from it she ran away with Ismael. After years of hiding from her family who had decided to kill her, she finally escaped to Austria. Hers is the only story in this book which does not end with her death.

Contrary to what I thought, the men in the family who killed do have a conscience and most do repent killing. They see it as a choice they do not have. After reading many stories like these I think I have a broader picture now. It's not only the men but also women who seem to think that killing is the only option. In Remziye's story, when her family decided to kill her, Remziye heard her mother say,"Whatever you do, don't kill them in the house. There'll be the bother of getting rid of the bodies. Shoot them among the trees and then dump the bodies somewhere".

Killing somebody for protecting the honour does not only end the life of the one who is killed but also affects the life of those who are left behind and the ones behind bars. All the stories in this book were chilling and sad and although all the stories are set in Turkey there are similar ones happening all over the world.

In one of the stories, Murat killed his mother because she was having an affair with another man. He killed her because he couldn't take people talking behind his back anymore, he couldn't take the shame and the humiliation anymore. When he spoke to Ayse Onal from his prison he said,

As long as the mentality doesn't change, no matter how severe the penalties - and the new penal laws are very severe - no matter how heavy the sanctions, this kind of thing will carry on. Because the person who does it has no idea of the terrible loneliness and the personal tragedy he will face afterwards. The only thought in his head is his belief that once he has done it, everyone around him will accept that his honour has been cleansed.

People who are faced with this kind of problem should consider it very carefully. You too die with the person you kill. She is sure to appear before your eyes every time you lie in your bed. This is an eternal punishment. In other words, you will have hanged yourself with your own hands.

It is not a solution and it does not address the underlying problem, but it will definitely help to decrease the number of women who are killed in the name of honour. It's definitely a start. One step at a time. I recommend this book to everyone out there and really hope that more awareness is created.

the book was hard to put down once i started reading. the stories of real people, and for once heard from the men's perspective, made this very interesting. to hear how they explain their actions to themselves or the world, how they express regret, if any... and so on.

my only critique is that the stories have a feel of a novel in them, although the result is thanks to hours of interviewing, such detailed life stories including what each person (killer's mother in her youth, the killer's sister, her other sister, the uncle...) was thinking of everything makes me skeptical if some of the writing is just assumptions by either the writer or the interviewee. if the latter, i think it should come across more clearly, Ayse could cite the source directly or remind us that this is what the interviewee assumed. what i specifically wonder about is the detailed descriptions of how the killed girls were feeling and thinking right before dying. if Ayse interviewed the whole family and friends i could see them giving more insight to the girls or womens thoughts but this is not the case. how did for example "Papatya" feel when her brother dragged her from the house she had fled to, we are explained in detail. apparently she doesnt utter more than a couple words during this time, yet we are explained what she thought and what the gunshot felt like in her body.

the descriptions of victims emotions and thoughts, as well as those of other family members, adds a lot to the stories and makes them more dramatic, but i couldnt help my suspicion of how much of it was just assumed by someone.

also, a couple of times Ayse refers to feeling a special connection with the dead victims or says that perhaps if the jailed man expressed his remorse to Ayse, the body in the grave could rest in peace... and i wonder if these feelings could explain the possible addition of victim's "voice" in the stories.

anyway, this was a lengthy view of my critique towards the book, i gave 4 stars so clearly i find the book very enlightening and well written and it gave me a lot of insight. others can probably explain the strengths of the book better, i felt the need to voice my slight concerns.