The moment Clarence "Woody" Woods, assistant dock master at Miami's exclusive Trade Winds Yacht Club, sets eyes on waitress Madalina Dragoi, he falls head over heels in love. As bad luck would have it, Madalina is smitten too - with Todd Hollingshead, a wealthy, suave club regular.Woody has no problem handling the sleek, multi-million dollar sailing vessels that dock at Trade Winds, but when it comes to winning a woman like Madalina, he could use a little help. Who knew it would arrive in the form of the enchanted fish he catches one afternoon? Before Woody can write off the talking tuna as a sun-induced hallucination, this unlikely benefactor is granting Woody's every wish, allowing him to sweep Madalina off her feet and into the sunset.At least that's how things were supposed to work out. Now, as Woody is about to discover, fairy tales aren't what they used to be - and fate has a way of writing its own version of happily-ever-after...
An interview with Jane May by Mr. Miles, the eleven pound canine narrator of DOGGY STYLE......
Mr. Miles: Are you, like myself, a native born New Yorker?
Jane May: No. I lived on a farm in a northwest corner of Connecticut until I was five. Then my parents divorced and my mom re-married a blue-blooded, city slicker. The complete antithesis of my rather provincial dad. We moved into an apartment on Central Park West.
MM: [laughing] You milking a cow? Now that's something I'd pay to see! Do you come from a large litter?
JM: I'm an only child. Hey, don't you roll your eyes at me! Not all of us are spoiled and over-indulged. Unlike some four-legged creatures that shall remain nameless.
MM: Now that was a low blow.
JM: My apologies, but you did set yourself up. Next question please.
MM: What were you like when you were a pup? Were you as much of a cut up as you are now?
JM: No, I was actually very serious. From age nine, my life revolved around the ballet. But my dreams of becoming a famous ballerina were dashed however, when the 'puberty fairy' struck and well, I got rather, ah, you know, curvy.
MM: As in big teats? Personally, speaking what's wrong with that?
JM: I'm going to ignore that crack. Anyway, I eventually retired my toe shoes and began to study jazz, acting and singing. Now why are you laughing?
MM: I've heard you howling in the shower and it ain't a pleasurable experience. Was your teacher tone deaf because you sure as hell are!
JM: Hey, contrary to what you may believe, people thought I was talented. In fact, I performed on TV and in several shows; among them a Broadway revival of 'Oklahoma' and the original production of 'Hair.' Anyway, people talk about turning points in their life and one of mine came during my senior year of college when I met someone who embodied everything I thought I wanted in a husband.
MM: And what was that? A deep feed bowl and good muscle structure?
JM: Very funny. No, it was a lot more complicated. And I'm here to talk about my book not my ex. All I can say is the marriage lasted twelve years and we have two terrific kids, Ilan and Rissa.
MM: So how did you get interested in this writing thing?
JM: Over the years I always kept journals and stuff but it wasn't until after my divorce that I decided to try to take my writing to the next level. I had this idea to create a sort of hands-on activity book for kids aged 8-12. In 1987 Abbeville Press published a series of four Memory Box Activity Kits: My Trip to New York City, My Trip to the Beach, My Winter Wonderland Vacation & My Rainy Day Adventures.
MM: So look, I know I'm terrific and all, but why write a book about me?
JM: We need a little back story here. Ever since quitting my job, I was lucky to have a screenplay optioned. As is the case with most movies, nothing happened. I completed another project but there were no bites. Discouraged, I decided to turn my original script ('Kangaroo Summer') into a novel. In the interim, however, I got this idea about weaving my life with you into a story. About a couple's relationship as seen from their dog. Sure the story was fiction, but I wanted it true to the dog's perspective. I wanted it realistic, raw, bawdy. A quintessential New York dog tale.
JM: Relax and let me finish. 'Hooked' is based on a Grimm's fairy tale and set in contemporary Miami. It tells the story of a 28 year old guy whose dream of sailing solo around the world gets waylaid when an enchanted fish with magical powers helps him hook a beautiful but as he will discover, greedy Rumanian waitress.
MM: You've got a very strange imagination. But if that's what it takes'
JM: See, Miles, had I not found you that day in the pound, well'
MM: You might still be a starving writer?
JM: I couldn't have said it better myself.
