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Hookers or Cake Paperback – August 19, 2010


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 102 pages
  • Publisher: Lewd Pony Press (August 19, 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 098284820X
  • ISBN-13: 978-0982848203
  • Product Dimensions: 0.2 x 7.9 x 4.9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 3.2 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 2.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (19 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,280,357 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From the Author

  • Rush Limbaugh overcomes a shy bladder
  • Jim Morrison is alive and well and still writing terrible poetry.
  • The story of how the baby taser was invented.
  • Jesus comes back to earth only to be sucked into various pyramid scams and is crucified by compounding interest.
These are just a few of the subjects broached in Hookers or Cake. I hope you enjoy them in good humor.
 If you do not and you find yourself offended, please notify your local board of uptight wing-bats.
 Have them contact me for bulk book burning rates and blasphemous quotes.
 Warmest regards,
  Jade Bos

About the Author

Jade Bos is a renowned appliance repairman and retired alchemist. He lives in South Florida with his wife Regina, a very bad cat, and one hyperactive dog.

More About the Author

Discover books, learn about writers, read author blogs, and more.

Customer Reviews

2.4 out of 5 stars
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See all 19 customer reviews
This book doesn't burn right!!!
Kevin Depew
I go but wife kicks me in face when I give her book instead of gold watch.
Dr. Acula
Buy this book if you enjoy throwing money out in the street.
Amazon Customer

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

21 of 23 people found the following review helpful By Amazon Customer on July 14, 2011
Format: Paperback
We all know of Patrick Henry's famous quote, "Give me liberty or give me death!" But not so well known was his cousin, Henry Patrick, who belonged to Overeaters Anonymous and subscribed to the belief that it is easier to ween oneself off one addiction by turning to another as a distraction. Appalled by OA's refusal to consider his theory as part of an alternate program he stood and gave a rousing speech to his fellow OA attendees, a speech that concluded with the more obscure line (some say his cousin would later borrow it to coin his own) "Give me hookers or give me cake!"

The only way this book could be more patriotic would be to mention Rush Limbaugh - and it does!
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13 of 13 people found the following review helpful By Generally Impressed on July 16, 2011
Format: Paperback
This book was exactly the right height I needed. Never again will my kitchen table wobble after buying this gem! Thanks Amazon!
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20 of 24 people found the following review helpful By NundaWard on February 8, 2011
Format: Paperback
I'm a baker and my wife is a hooker, and to say that this book is a gross offense to two of human history's most ancient and revered professions is akin to calling Fat Man and Little Boy fire crackers. Time was a man was held to task for what he said, the way he lived his life and the ethical decisions he made. Well this book is proof that that time has passed us by, I wouldn't line my colostomy bag with this trash and if I ever catch my kid reading it I'll pour kerosene in his ears and light his tongue on fire, for starters. Somewhere, and believe me its a far of somewhere, Horatio Alger is rolling over is his grave. If I never see or hear tell of this abomination again it'll be too soon.
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful By James J. Beck on February 5, 2011
Format: Paperback
Perhaps in an alternate universe this book makes sense.

The style is clipped enough to make for an easy ready but the metaphysical changes one has to go through to comprehend it hardly offset that. Some of the writings are understandable, even entertaining - but others take all of my half-century of life experience to get my head around. It's as if the whole point is to confound and confuse.

And I can identify with that.

So basically - I laughed, I cried and that was just the dedication page.

But I guess I can't complain too much. I was one of the original backers after all.
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20 of 25 people found the following review helpful By chickenalaking on February 8, 2011
Format: Paperback
What a joke. This book doesn't include ONE baking tip and it's not a directory of escort services, either. Save your money. I'd rather read a cereal box.
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11 of 13 people found the following review helpful By Ed Jackson on February 9, 2011
Format: Paperback
This book was printed in an Eastern European print shop which uses supplies scavenged from within the Chernobyl quarantine zone. I only became aware of this after my puppy died of radiation poisoning after chewing on it. A full NBC suit is a must when reading.
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13 of 16 people found the following review helpful By J. Taylor on February 6, 2011
Format: Paperback
Hookers or Cake ruined my life. It is the reason why my wife left me. It is the reason why my children developed yellow fever and died. It is the reason why the Green Bay Packers are playing in Super Bowl XLV. I hate you, Jade Bos.
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25 of 34 people found the following review helpful By Kevin Depew on February 7, 2011
Format: Paperback
I am an AVID, OR aficionado. I have BEEN doing this for 15, maybe 17 YEARS. Who CAN SAY? I have never had a problem with MY AMAZON orders. UNTIL NOW. This book doesn't burn right!!! It gets kind of MELTY, but it doesn't BURN RIGHT. WHY!!!? The BLUE ones usually burn REAL GOOD. I want to empathize: this book DOES NOT BURN RIGHT! I DON'T LIKE THAT and consider IT a claim of false advertisement OF INFLAMMATORY. I AM filing a LEGAL lawsuit case against THE PARTY FOR MELTY BOOKS! Also, I will NOT be ordering another book BY THIS AUTHOR until they burn good. Warning to fellow AVIDS: THIS BOOK DOESN'T BURN RIGHT!
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