Customer Reviews

Hope After Betrayal: Healing When Sexual Addiction Invades Your Marriage

5 star:		(17)
4 star:		(5)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

Meg is quick to point out that sexual addiction isn't about sex, and a sexual addict isn't just the guy you see on "To Catch A Predator." Sexual addiction has quite possibly visited the guy in the cubicle next to you at work or the pastor in your pulpit. Meg's book is about the redemption and restoration of a woman's heart that's been torn to pieces by her husband's bad choices. If you or anyone you know has been hurt by her husband's repeated use of pornography or other sexual activity, I would encourage you to take a look at Hope After Betrayal. One of the most amazing things about the book was that Meg's husband, Dave, wrote the last chapter. He encourages women that their husband's battle is truly his battle - and Dave gives these women permission to stop enabling. Hope After Betrayal is a powerful testimony of what hard work and the love of God can accomplish in a marriage when two people are willing to walk through the fire to reach for the purest gold.

Sexual addiction is a problem that runs rampant in the society of our day. There are an increasingly large number of books available on this subject, but many of these have looked at sexual addiction from the man / husband's perspective. This book was of interest to me because it looks at sexual addiction from the perspective of the woman / wife who has been betrayed. Hope After Betrayal shares the stories of four women whose lives have been forever changed by their husband's secret sexual addiction finally coming to light. Over the course of ten chapters we learn of the journey Meg (the author), Tammy, Stephanie, and Renee have undertaken to find hope and healing from their husband's betrayal. The chapters progress as follows:

* Chapter 1 - Blackout (Brutal betrayal)
* Chapter 2 - Shrouded (Waiting for direction)
* Chapter 3 - First Shimmers (Seeing the obstacles)
* Chapter 4 - Lanterns (Safe people)
* Chapter 5 - Laser (Friend of foe)
* Chapter 6 - Shadowlands (Avoiding the dark)
* Chapter 7 - Glowworms (Absorbing and applying grace)
* Chapter 8 - Firefly (The glowworm with wings)
* Chapter 9 - Prisms (Accepting God's design)
* Chapter 10 - Path Lights (The road ahead)

Two important features to note at the end of each chapter are Path Lights and Journaling. Path Lights has between three to six scripture references that will be an encouragement to women who are walking through each stage of their own journey. The Journaling portion contained in each chapter is an important feature of this book. Meg encourages women to keep a personal journal as they walk through each milestone of their journey towards hope and healing. Journaling is not something that comes easily for everyone. Fortunately this section has questions, ideas for prayer, and scripture meditation that should help readers to start writing in their journals.

There are actually eleven chapters in this book. Chapter eleven is titled Refraction (My Husband's Perspective). What sets this chapter apart from the previous ten is that it's written by Meg's husband. He answers many of the common questions women have about their husband's sexual addiction. Following chapter eleven there are two appendices. Appendix A talks more about the practice of journaling. Appendix B lists additional resources (books, web sites, computer filters / monitoring) for coping with the fallout that comes from sexual addiction.

Many thanks to Meg Wilson, her husband, and the other women who have shared their stories in this book. Throughout its entirety, this book focuses on the importance of relying on Jesus Christ, who is able to bring true hope and healing to the process of recovery from sexual addiction. I would highly recommend this book to any pastor, counselor, or layperson who works with those recovering from or affected by sexual addiction. For the men who are on the road to recovery from sexual addiction, this book will help you to better comprehend what your wife is going through. For the women who are on their own journey towards hope and healing from betrayal, this book is written with you in mind. The format of this book makes it very usable in a small group setting, but it will be just as practical for the individual. While I don't normally give star ratings to books, I give this book five stars. Meg Wilson has presented one of the most practical and Christ-centered approaches to hope and healing from the betrayal of sexual addiction I've seen to date.

Meg Wilson is a regular speaker to women's groups, Bible studies, and conferences. Five years ago she founded the Healing hearts Ministry to offer help and hope to women whose husbands are caught in the web of sexual addiction. Learn more at [...]

I found Meg Wilson's Hope After Betrayal to be an uplifting, compassionate book for women who feel hopeless and betrayed after discovering their husband's unfaithfulness and sexual addiction.
It's as if God is speaking through Meg and talking directly to the reader. She gives examples of how different women react and deal with this problem and how God guided her on the path to healing from the deep hurt she, herself, suffered and how to avoid detours that make the situation much worse. Meg offers journaling exercises that empower women to take control of their lives and uncover issues that need to be dealt with and then how to go about dealing with them. She also cites Bible verses that apply directly to women dealing with such a desperate situation and offer hope and guidance and strengthen one's faith. There are so many women who need to read Meg Wilson's book so they can be free of turmoil and despair. It offers rays of hope for women who don't know where to turn.

Meg Wilson has written an honest and revealing account of discovering her husband's sexual addiction and the devastation that followed. She talks openly about her journey out of despair and betrayal into a life of hope and loving again. Meg gives Godly advice in every chapter and shares resources that can aid in the restoration process. Her husband shares his story and thoughts in the last chapter. He answers the questions that the wife of a sex addict needs answering. This is "must" reading for any woman who has a husband, boyfriend, father, or son struggling with sexual addiction.

I am the wife of a porn addict. My husband has struggled with his addiction for several years, and for all of our eleven year long marriage. I finally reached my breaking point last year (I got tired of being chosen second to pornographic images) and put my foot down. He is currently attending a recovery program and trying his best to beat this...but I needed help for ME. I purchased this book in hopes that it would give me real world advice on how to deal with this situation (i.e. how to get over anger, hurt, betrayal- and get my self esteem back!). The book does help in the sense that you read about others who have gone through the same thing and it validates your feelings. It is great in that it doesn't blame the wife for the husbands problem (as some do) and it gets somewhat into the science behind sexual addiction. It focuses a lot on the mind and behavior of the addict- including an interview with the authors husband (a recovering addict)in which he states his perspective at the end of the book. But, it does not give the real world advice I was looking for. Mainly, it urges women to seek help from the Bible and through prayer, and to find a competent therapist/counselor to help you through. I'm not saying that is a bad thing, but I was looking for advice on what to do outside of or in addition to those things- and it doesn't have that.

After receiving devastaing news about my long-time boyfriend, I decided to purchase Hope After Betrayal for two reasons. One, I needed a Christian perspective, and two, I wanted an addict's perspective - Meg's recovering husband wrote the last chapter.

Hope After Betrayal encourages spiritual growth through faith, forgiveness, and grace. Meg has wonderfully explained the sometimes difficult task of staying focused on God by using descriptive and memorable images.

Most importantly, Meg describes what sexual addiction is and how it controls the one you love.

A must read for those of you wanting some peace after betrayal in your relationship.

I have read many books on sexual addiction--all scientific, how to work the 12 steps, how sick my husband is, etc. This is the first book that gives support and helped me get through the pain and hurt of being betrayed and violated. I found myself needing to read a portion each night just to get through the interactions with my husband when it all came out. This writer gave me a new perspective to stop thinking like a victim, start acting more effectively with my husband, and take responsibility for the things and thoughts that I could change. While I cannot control what my husband does, I can set clear limits on what I will tolerate and not feel guilty, and I can interact more effectively with him.
I would highly recommend this book to a Christian woman that is frustrated, shocked, and broken hearted over their husband's behaviors that they probably uncovered themselves. While it doesn't take away all the pain or betrayal, it does give a set of great tools for a cognitive person that is confused about what to do...and the ability to decide for themselves about what they need and what they can tolerate. Regardless of the decision, there is support either way-to stay or to go, and no pressure to do either. This would be the first thing that I handed a woman that confessed their broken heart to me to survive the first week.

I found this book to be so real. Sometimes I felt as though I was reading my own life story. She seems to have experienced the same pain that so many of us have, and has made it to the other side...I really like the emphasis on truth as well. We have lived shrouded in lies, and half truths for so long, and the emphasis placed on complete disclosure of truth from the sex addict as a vital part of healing, both for ourselves and hopefully our marriages was good to hear. The book does over-do the "god stuff" a little in my opinion, but this is one persons journey out of this darkness, and if being submerged in god, and the bible got her through, then who am I to judge. Overall, I would recommend this book, I found it really helpful, and worth reading.

I purchased this book for a friend who is in Sexaholics Anonymous. He has had many of the issues discussed in the book and he finds it to be very helpful. To anyone out there who is married and with a sex/lust addiction this book is most helpful.

I have read dozens of books on sexual addiction. This one had brought me the most comfort and hope.
If you have been devasted by this addiction, this is the book for you. It has been the only book that has articulated the emotions that I have experienced. I felt devastated, hopeless, and lost. This book offered insights that helped me to move forward.
While this book does examine the problem from a Christian perspective, it is not preachy or shallow. The author identifies with your pain and does not seek to minimize it.
It will be a book you will read several times! You will find hope.