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Hornito: My Lie Life
 
 
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Hornito: My Lie Life [Hardcover]

Mike Albo (Author)
3.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (17 customer reviews)


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Book Description

October 3, 2000
Take David Sedaris, Sandra Bernhard, and Christopher Buckley and roll them into one fiercely hilarious human being. Then add a dash more subversive humour and outrageous irony and you might begin to find the stinging understanding of life of Mike Albo in his debut novel Hornito. Juxtaposing a trip to his childhood home where he has retreated to make sense of his hectic life in New York City with memories of growing up gay in suburbia, Albo creates the character "Mike Albo," whose memories from a fictitious life are outrageously, hilariously, embarrassingly real. Filled with the typical suburban childhood predicaments of bullies, rollerskates, satin shorts, and Solid Gold dancers, Albo evokes a poignant, nostalgic past that riffs terrifically with his vibrant, energetic--and perpetual--search for love in the present. By turns vulnerable and jaded, flamboyant and obsessive, Albo brings his own unique, witty, and touching take on being young, single and gay in today's culture.

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Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Softly lit, as if by a disco ball and a vintage Lava lamp, Mike Albo's rich and funny novel hinges on his protagonist and alter ego's visit home to suburban Springfield for Labor Day weekend, where he reminisces about his standard-issue American childhood and seeks a remedy for crabs, while obsessing about an unattainable trick of his named Eric, a dancer at Freon in Manhattan: "He is a human candy bar impulse buy--moving effortlessly and beautifully up there with a king-size Snickers down his white cutoffs." There is no plot to speak of in Hornito, but a few events occur to strike off sparks of recollection. The driving force is Albo's unquenchable libido, which leads him into the sex clubs of New York and the dismal local gay hangouts of his parents' hometown, just as it led him into satin shorts and eyeliner during his warped 1980s adolescence. Among the best gay books of 2000, Hornito speaks to the geeky and emotionally hungry boy in even the coolest man. --Regina Marler

From Publishers Weekly

Up-and-coming New York City monologuist Albo's kaleidoscopic fiction debut chronicles a young man's navigation of consumer culture, gay identity and numerous erotic adventures. Poignant glibness and sharp pop-culture criticism punctuate the chatterbox voice of protagonist Mike Albo, whose harsh, quirky observations and quicksilver humor belie his earnest heart. The book flashes through two decades, from formative events in his stultifying, suburban Virginia childhood to New York City's East Village in the early '90s, as starry-eyed, adult Mike tries to make sense of who he is and what he wants. He thinks he wants go-go boy EricDbut Eric's with George and sometimes with BennyDor maybe he wants another one-night stand with a heartbreaker like Rod. He knows for sure he wanted Jeff, his high school love, and Jason, the unreachable golden boy. Investigating his various desires, Mike unearths a secret involving his brother and their older, male babysitter, and finds that in his stoic loneliness amid sex clubs, trashy boys and a deadening office job, he gets "total crymouth." Evident are the trip wires of hurt and fear of rejection that connect the "different" little boy with the sassy young man. Also in plain sight is something the protagonist doesn't see: though true love eludes Mike, he is nonetheless truly lovable. Albo moves fluidly from childhood scenes in which Mike eats sticks of butter on his porch and secretly dreams of being a flashy dancer in satin shorts, to the wily high school strategies he employs to become popular, and eventually to the downtown hipster world that, ironically, mirrors all the hypocrisies and pleasures of his pubescence. While the brilliance of Albo's cynical nostalgia may be lost on those who neither came of age in the New Wave '80s nor participated in the urban retro trends of the '90s, this writer's formidable gift for humor and self-flagellating satire transcends the limits of a generation-X audience. Agent, Tina Bennett. 20,000 first printing; author tour. (Oct.)
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 256 pages
  • Publisher: Harper; 1st edition (October 3, 2000)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0688174361
  • ISBN-13: 978-0688174361
  • Product Dimensions: 8.6 x 5.9 x 1.1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 3.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (17 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,659,292 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Hi there interested person:

I am a writer and performer living and loving in Brooklyn. My first novel, HORNITO: MY LIE LIFE, was published by HarperCollins in October 2000. My second novel, THE UNDERMINER (co-written with Virginia Heffernan) was published by Bloomsbury USA in 2005. Now I am releasing THE JUNKET exclusively on Kindle for your pleasure. Check me out on mikealbo.com, on Twitter at "albomike" or on FaceBook...Below is a more extensive bio written in the 3rd person as if I had nothing to do with its creation:


Mike Albo has written for the New York Times, The New Yorker, New York Magazine, GQ, Elle Décor, Country Living, The Daily Beast, Out, The Village Voice, Details, and many other magazines and websites. He was a Senior Editor and Fashion Writer for Cargo Magazine from 2004-2006.

Albo wrote The Critical Shopper column for the New York Times from February 2007-October 2009. He has also had columns in Blackbook and Surface magazines, and wrote "Torascopes" for Heeb Magazine from 2005-2007. His love advice column in Out Magazine, "What's Your Problem?" appeared from 1998-2000. He also wrote horoscopes for Word.com (Horoscopes by Randy Lavender), from 1998-2000.

His fiction and essays have appeared in many anthologies, including The Worst Noel, Girls Who Love Boys Who Love Boys, Rejected and The Show I'll Never Forget. Selections of his "Junk Mail" poetry have appeared in the Tin House.

As a monologist and comedian, Albo has completed four critically acclaimed, sold-out solo shows: MIKE ALBO, SPRAY, PLEASE EVERYTHING BURST and MY PRICE POINT, as well as many solo performances and tours across the United States and Europe. Fast-paced, hilarious, highly emotional and punctuated with dance, his performances have been praised in many publications including The New Yorker, The New York Times, Paper, Time Out, The Independent in London, The Boston Globe, the Pittsburgh Tribune, and the LA Times.

Selections of his work appear in EXTREME EXPOSURE: An Anthology Of Solo Performance Texts From The Twentieth Century (ed. by Jo Bonney). MY PRICE POINT won the award for Best Solo Performance by Independent Reviewers of New England in 2006.

 

Customer Reviews

17 Reviews
5 star:
 (6)
4 star:
 (2)
3 star:
 (4)
2 star:
 (1)
1 star:
 (4)
 
 
 
 
 
Average Customer Review
3.3 out of 5 stars (17 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

11 of 13 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Buy vodka head to CVS hunker in the corner and READ ALBO, October 25, 2000
By 
Michael (New York, NY) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Hornito: My Lie Life (Hardcover)
One of the best books I've read in a long time -- much better than Me Talk Pretty -- but Albo writes in an entirely different style. While Sedaris recounts humourous events, Albo recognizes the humor in what being single, gay, and in NY really is about. I'm giving this to everyone I date from now on -- with the words "If this ain't you move along!" Albo, whether he thinks so or not, has it all figured out. My only complaint is I read it in one night and there's nothing left -- where's book two?
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars I CAN'T PUT THIS DOWN, October 23, 2000
By A Customer
This review is from: Hornito: My Lie Life (Hardcover)
I haven't laughed this hard in years. I haven't had greater insight into the passion and sadness and speedy joy of being in my twenties. The main character in this book basically just gets it - his loneliness and efforts to find love are so amazingly similar to mine. And they're also hilarious. But Hornito not a "humor" book like Art Buchwald or Steve Martin: it's a genuine, truthful tour of the insanity of being single and the most unspoken parts the heart. YOU HAVE TO READ THIS! People compare Albo to David Sedaris, but Albo is SOOO much better!! This book is INCREDIBLE.
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7 of 8 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Much more than a witty diversion!, November 19, 2000
By 
Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: Hornito: My Lie Life (Hardcover)
Mike Albo has talent to burn. This adroitly written diary/memoir/fantasia of the past and current struggles of a young man to establish a meaningful relationship in a world that is centered on transience is at once humorous (even hilarious) and soulful (even sad). Albo cleverly writes as though this were an autobiogrphical confession, so much so that it is difficult not to buy in to every bizarre recall and projection. How much of this is fantasy, how much reportage? To this reader there is no discerning that line. Much of main character Mike's recounting of his childhood sexual fantasies and acting out sound like terrific stand-up comedian material, but since they are so carefully woven into the fabric of his young adult escapades as the novel speeds along, they gain credence, and in making all of this story credible, Albo forces us to examine the sociology of the last quarter of the 20th Century. There is a lot of stern observation about our status as social beings. And I think this is the test of a really fine humorist: Make 'em laugh like crazy until they go home and, in solitude, think and even cry a bit. A solid Bravo for Hornito!
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First Sentence:
I'm in the car waiting for my parents, parked in the Springfield Plaza with its mock-wood awning and signs lit from behind-Morton's and Color Tile and Baskin-Robbins and Circuit City and Today's Man and a CVS drugstore, where today I had to secretly get the A-200 crab-removal system because I am home for Labor Day weekend with my bag of laundry and everything-is-fine smile. Read the first page
Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
fake loser, dancer men, satin shorts, gay guys
Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
New York, Ken Fenning, Wonder Bar, Las Vegas, Dan Gordon, Jason Hazer, Galactic Man, Jeff Wrenn, Pete Shane, Springfield Plaza, Storybook Kingdom, Tasha Bartok, Todd Flamadio, American Liver Association, Dirt Bike Kids, Taylor Law, Lynn Flushing, Peter Pan, Wang Chung, Abraham Lincoln, Burger Chef, Ferron Elementary School, Frau Freund, Iron Fist, John Blond
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