Customer Reviews

Horrors of Spider Island

5 star:		(5)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(4)
2 star:		(9)
1 star:		(5)

 

 

I first saw this movie on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and they
gave it their usual hilarious treatment, but even when viewed on its
own it's still pretty hilarious. Alexander D'Arcy (Blood of
Dracula's Castle) stars as the hapless hero, Gary, the manager of a
girls' dance troupe. Barbara Valentin, in her screen debut, stars as
Babs, the pouty-faced sexpot on the make for him. Both D'Arcy
and Valentin had long careers in European films and TV, but the
rest of the cast in Spider Island seem to have disappeared along
with this movie.

And no wonder. The acting is bad, the dubbed-in dialog is dumb,
the plot is ludicrous, the editing is poor, the special effects are
awful, the direction is amateurish, and it's not even in color. So
it's definitely one of those so-bad-it's-funny movies. For instance,
when the planes takes off for the tour it's a twin-engine plane, but
when shown in flight, it's a four-engine plane. And when Gary
finds a sledgehammer on the island he says, "A hammer...with a
long handle!" And surmises that someone has been mining
uranium on the island! Wouldn't anybody? (And how does one
mine for uranium with a hammer, anyway?) And check out the
face on that spider! Incredible! And when Gary is bitten by the
crab-like spider he transforms immediately into a monster that
looks more like a werewolf than a spider. (Why didn't the
professor turn into a monster when the spider got him?) After
Linda is killed by monster Gary he's seen running into the woods
and in the next scene one of the girls mentions that they've now
been on the island for 28 days. 28 days on a small island with a
murderous monster running around loose, and nothing at all has
happened in that time? And so on...

Star D'Arcy (a veteran of Hollywood earlier in his career) said in
an interview that he actually rewrote the script and directed the
movie. If true, then we have him to blame for this mess. He said
director Fritz Böttger was incompetent and that the actresses were
"second class." He may be right about the direction. The movie
plays as if there were two, or even more, people directing it, each
working against the other. But the actresses were not second class,
at least not in their natural endowments. The bevy of big-breasted
babes are the best thing about this movie.

This DVD edition features a short subject starring Joi Lansing
(The Atomic Submarine) in a musical video called "Web of Love"
which is more interesting for her abundant cleavage than for her
singing voice. Mary Blair (who is she?) does a burlesque-style
striptease in a second short subject called "Spider Girl," interesting
only for its seeming antiquity. And there's a more modern
striptease number, also with a spider web theme. The montage of
lurid schlock movie posters with voice-over radio spot ads is very
amusing, as well. And there are some prevues of other Something
Weird movies available. The snap case has two pages of
interesting liner notes and chapter index. The image quality and
sound are good, so all in all, this is a pretty good DVD value, if
you're a fan, like me, of really bad sci-fi/horror movies.

"HORRORS OF SPIDER ISLAND"

Ever walk into a spider web in the dark? Well, this movie's nothing like that.

New from Image Entertainment, is this black and white exploitation flick from 1960. The late(?) great Fritz Bottger directs -- well, kind of -- eight sexy showgirls and their macho manager who survive a plane crash on a remote tropical island.

The practical gals are survivors! Not only that, they represent a crss section of "female pulchritude" (as Hef used to say back in the 60's). So, lucky for us, they quickly adjust to the stifling heat and strip to their underwear. Yippeeee! (Hey, it's crucial to the, ahem, story). Almost immediately they discover a dead scientist caught in a giant web. Uh oh.

Soon, their testosterone crazed manager is bitten by a giant spider and, get this, grows claws, fangs, and lots of facial hair. Maybe he's on steroids as well 'cause he seems to be in a "roid" rage and becomes a pest in the worst way. I don't want to spoil the plot -- oops, did I say plot? -- so I won't give away any more lest I spoil it for first time viewers.

The dubbing is atrocious but adds a weird, je ne sais quoi, patina to the ever increasing distortion of reality. An authentic classic of its kind. Cinema merde? Must be seen to be believed. Five blazing stars! Like a nightmare you can't run from - but laugh at later.

Warning: Don't watch this in any kind of altered state -- you may never return to the reality we all attempt to share. (Not Rated, Full Frame (wow!), Mono (not the disease), No Region Code (you can watch it anywhere in the world!), 76 fleshy minutes.)

Babs, a beautiful blonde bombshell with a very FULL figure (check out those humongoid legs!), is just one of a bunch of gorgeous (?!) dancer-models who crash land on a deserted island. When the girls aren't skinny-dipping, cat-fighting, or dancing around the cabin, they are occasionally menaced by their chaperone who has become a hairy-faced beast (but only in the close-up shots!) because he got bitten by a giant spider. An amazing LAUGH RIOT of a movie ... a true classic of euro-trash cinema. You may remember seeing photos of this film in old issues of Famous Monsters magazine, but since the film was never sold to TV, most of us never had a chance to see it until Something Weird came up with this print. Now it's on DVD and you NEED to BUY IT!!!! You will love the priceless inane dialog, the atrocious dubbing (check out the girl with the southurn' accent!) the complete lack of continuity, the abundance of titilation between the girls and let's not forget that very cute bug-eyed spider. Damn fine show!!!!

The DVD has a few stripper-shorts with spiderweb themes and that gallery of horror-explotation art w/ radio spots, but this time the MOVIE itself is the real MAIN ATTRACTION. Don't Miss It!

'Horrors of Spider Island' was made in Germany and originally called 'Ein Toter hing im Netz', literally 'A Dead One Hung in the Net', a catchy title that is actually a bit more informative and true to the film than the English version. In this film a group of dancers are enroute to Singapore when their plane crashes vertically (and on fire) into the Pacific Ocean, leaving them totally unscathed along with their manager, Gary. Gary runs afoul of the lamest spider I have ever seen on film and becomes a monster that the box describes as 'half-man and half-insect', but I prefer to refer to as a mangy werewolf in need of braces.

The vast bulk of the film involves the girls walking around the island yelling "Gary!" in badly dubbed voices, although there are a couple of fight scenes and even an occasional glimpse of the monster. I had seen the MST3K version of this film and had enjoyed it, but then again, I like MST3K in general. I thought that I might enjoy watching the original version of the film, but I was wrong. Before watching this version of the film, I had no idea how much the staff at Best Brains suffered to prepare their version for television. I didn't do a timing comparison, but it seems to me that the MST version must have edited out some of the wandering around the island footage, as I didn't recall the movie being this long.

I have almost never been so eager for a film to end, and even though the ending of the DVD version is very abrupt, I was grateful for the conclusion. If you are insistent upon having every bad monster movie ever made, by all means buy this film; otherwise, leave it alone, it is just too painful to watch, and the camp value is not strong enough to numb the pain.

Horror of Spider Island is a German movie, dubbed into English for its US release, which has a slight horror/SF theme.

The movie exists in a number of different versions and under several titles (including The Man in the Net and It's Hot in Paradise). There are two DVDs available but this appears to be the most comprehensive of the English language versions and is definitely the one to buy.

The plot is perfuctory, to say the least. A troupe of dancers is flying to Singapore when their plane crashes. They end up on a deserted island where radiation has caused some spiders to mutate into creatures the size of small dogs. One of the men is bitten by a spider and turns into a slavering monster. The dancers lounge around in their underwear, largely unconcerned about the strange events that periodically disrupt their sojourn. Eventually, two additional men turn up and there is some desultory romance and a cat fight. Finally, the monster is driven to its death in a swamp and 75 minutes of your life have passed that can never be regained.

Although the DVD is labelled as Horror of Spider Island, the credits indicate the movie is actually Its Hot in Paradise. The print is still in pretty good condition, so the film looks far better than many other obscure 'B' movies of its age. In truth, that is about as far as the praise can go. The film-makers had only the most elementary idea of how to tell their flimsy story and the story itself is merely an excuse for some tepid cheesecake.

I bought this film to help complete my nearly comprehensive collection of 50s and 60s SF. If you have a similar obsession then this DVD is good enough for your purposes, but I can think of no other reason why anybody would actually want to watch this trifle.

One must congratulate something wierd video for the restoration they did on this movie. All movies deserve such care regardless how bad they are.
What I found fascinating about this grade b- horror/sexplotation movie from 1962 is the women in it. The movie used it's horror element to have women dance around in skinny bikinis. People today would look at these women and say: "they have lots of curves but also have a bit of extra pounds like larger legs." They are attractive even by todays standards but that would have been seen as very sexy back then. a super curvy woman with extra wieght including huge legs was not a problem in 1961. throughout history women with that type of figure was seen as the very healthy and desirable often! the idea that women shouldn't have any extra pounds only started in the late sixties. (not that skinny women weren't around in plentiful amounts though) Anyways the previous thirteen reviews have let you know what this movie is about. But the filmakers obviously had little money making this movie because after gary gets bitten only his head and hands change into a hairy spider man. which looks quite odd but after all this is what you'd expect from this type of bottom budget effort. And this is what you get when you buy this dvd. This is fun if you let it be fun and a drag if you expect anything of quality. That's the secret to enjoying bottom budget horror and sci fi movies from any decade. ever seen dracula 3000? well this type of shlock is still around and you take it or leave it. Lots of people choose to take it though!

Although released as Horrors of Spider Island, the 77-minute version released by Something Wierd Video through Image Entertainment, has the title "It's Hot In Paradise." But, don't be confused, both are retitles for the original German-made film "Ein Toter Hing Im Netz," (One Corpse Hangs in the Web).

First and foremost, don't believe the marketing propaganda touting this as a sci-fi or horror film. This is just a low-budget B-movie with some lame love stories involving a lost troupe of dancers stranded on a South Pacific island who are discovered and rescued by two, alleged research scientists. Meanwhile, the dance troupe manager is bitten by a radioactive spider and turns into a furry-face, manaical killer.

The script is lame as is the acting and in places the editing of the short version released in the USA. Since this is a low-budget production, not much ever happens and the little action is both lame and pedestrian.

The only redeeming quality is the girls --- big, curvy frauleins. It is difficult to imagine why this film is considered "camp" or "bad" as in good. This is just a low-budget B-movie, nothing more.

The restored print by Something Weird Video is almost pristine but does not save this stinker. Regardless of Mystery Science Theater 3000 status, this is neither funny, ridiculous or entertaining. Anyone who elevates this into the league of Plan 9 From Outer Space, is either delusional or has been bitten by a radioactive spider.

There are much better or worse films than this,such as Corridors of Blood or Haunted Strangler, both starring Boris Karloff; or, Fiend Without A Face. And if you like curvy girls, then watch Joi Lansing in Atomic Submarine. So, save your money and time for something enjoyable rather than something lame.

This movie is a really, really bad movie...we're talking so bad that it was used as a film critiqued by the Mystery Science Theater 3000 crew. If you really think you have to watch it, that is the only way to go. Just to watch it for it's own merit would be a pointless waste of time. It is sexist, badly dubbed, and has the most stupid plot possible. Get the MST3K version, have a laugh with Mike, Crow and Tom Servo, and remember...a hammer with a long handle must be for excavating uranium! (You have to see the movie to know what I mean by that...!)

I nearly gave this 1959/1962 movie one star, and had second thoughts and generously gave it 2 stars. It probably deserves 1 star, but I was feeling generous.

This movie seems to have a combination of English and German speaking actors in a thin plot designed to expose as much flesh as possible. I pondered including the pedigree of some of the actors, but was never able to get enthusiastic enough to do the research. There are some pretty awful B-movies about, and this one is one of the worse.

Supposedly a couple is hiring a bunch of dancers to go to Singapore. After some mildly racy scenes at the beginning of the movie (as in you see some panties), everyone hops on a twin engine propeller plane to head for Singapore. Somewhere along the line the plane gets four engines, and then it crashes in flames. Miraculously, the dancers and the couple survive. The pilots, of course, conveniently died.

Everyone survives to reach an island where they quickly discover a professor in a giant spider web, which yields the original German title, "Ein Toter hing im Netz," which is, roughly translated, a dead one hung in the net. Sadly, that scene was probably one of the high points in the movie. Soon women are shedding clothes, but the only living male on the island wanders off to be attacked by a giant spider. The giant spider was probably mutated by the uranium that may have been on the island, which is what the professor was seeking. Remember that in the 50s and 60s radiation explained nearly everything.

For the rest of the movie we see the now mutated guy looking sinister and occasionally killing someone. The rest of the time the movie focuses on the hot babes wandering about the island in various states of undress, including some nude scenes (depending on which version of this movie you have - some versions delete the nude scenes).

The food starts to run out and things are looking grim when a couple of fellows show up. Then there is steamy romance, the spider guy appears again, there is some running around and screaming and yelling, spider guy kills a couple of people, the movie ends, and you wonder what the heck it was all about.

This silliness seems to be an excuse to see the ladies in their undies and skinny-dipping in the ocean. The plot, what little there is of it, is very thin. We hardly see the spider guy once he is created, and we only see the spider (which looks very sinister) a couple of times at the beginning of the movie. Mystery Science Theater 3000 did a lampoon of this movie, but I have yet to see it. I have to believe the lampoon is better than the original.

I have been watching a lot of these movies. Many of them are weak, or outright bad, but most of them have at least some redeeming characteristics. This movie is just too bland and boring to be very interesting. The picture quality is also poor. Watch the Mystery Science Theater 3000 version and skip this one.

For those who like trivia, this movie has apparently been released under a variety of names according to imdb:

"Ein Toter Hing im Netz"
"A Corpse Hangs in the Web"
"Body in the Web"
"Girls of Spider Island"
"Horrors of Spider Island"
"It's Hot in Paradise"
"The Spider's Web"

The years vary with the release and re-release. I would think that some of these releases were to fill space in drive-in theater billings.

CLASSIC BABES STRANDED ON HOT TROPICAL ISLAND FLICK. YES, THEY DISROBE OFTEN, BICKER, CAT-FIGHT, DANCE, GIGGLE, SCREAM & TAKE BATHES AT THE DROP OF A....THEIR MANAGER, MACHO GARY WHO SEEMS PRETTY SLEEZEY RIGHT OFF ACTUALLY BECOMES A RATHER STRAIGHT-UP TAKE CHARGE GUY AFTER A PLANE CRASH LEAVES ALL STRANDED ON SOME DEAD PROFESSOR'S RADIOACTIVE DESERTED ISLAND. HOWEVER, GARY STRAYS OFF ONE NIGHT & GETS BITTEN BY SOME SPIDER-BAT-CAT-SOMETHING AND BECOMES A WEREWOLF-SPIDER-BAT? MAN WHO CHASES & KILLS SOME OF THE ALMOST NAKED GIRLS. I KINDDA FELT SORRY FOR POOR GARY.
THE ALPHA DVD VERSION IS CERTAINLY WATCHABLE, A LITTLE DARK IN SPOTS, A LITTLE JUMPY...IT ENDS ABRUPTLY. I'M SHELLING OUT THE EXTRA BUCKS FOR THE "IMAGE" VERSION. I THINK IT'LL BE WORTH IT.