Customer Reviews

Hot Issues, Cool Choices: Facing Bullies, Peer Pressure, Popularity, and Put-downs

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Let's face it, being a kid is difficult--dealing with peer pressure, the desire to fit in, the search for self-identity, etc. Sometimes kids participate in things like bullying and teasing they're really not comfortable doing, but they just don't know how to stand up to other children. Unfortunately, way too many children are on the receiving end of this teasing and bullying which can permanently damage their self esteem and sadly sometimes result in suicide or violence towards others.

Luckily, Sandra McLeod Humphrey's has created a new book to help children learn how to stand up for other children and even for themselves in an effort to staunch the harmful bullying that is seen in schools. Ms. McLeod Humphrey decided to write Hot Issues, Cool Choices: Facing Bullies, Peer Pressure, Popularity, and Put-downs when she heard the story of Tommy, a 12-year old boy, who committed suicide because he was bullied. The book is dedicated to Tommy's memory.

Through numerous interviews with teachers, students, and parents, Ms. McLeod Humphrey created a fictional elementary school, Emerson Elementary, and presents over 25 scenarios told from the point of view of children in the school. The scenarios cover a wide range of issues, from name-calling, harassment, peer pressure, rumors, and even suicidal thoughts. At the end of each scenario is a number of thought-provoking discussion questions asking students to talk about what they would do, how the children in story felt, and more.

For example, in the scenario, "No, No, a Thousand Times No!," a boy named Eric is having a Halloween party, and Jeremy, an unpopular boy asks if he can come. Eric believes that if he invites him, he will lose friends, and others will think he's just as "weird" as Jeremy. Questions children are prompted to answer include,

* "What do you think Eric should do? Why?"
* "How you feel about Jeremy?"
* "Do you think Eric will really lose all his friends if he invites Jeremy to his party?"
* "Do you think Jeremy knows how Eric and his friends feel about him?"

Finally, there's a "Trading Places," question: "How would you feel if you were Jeremy and you weren't invited to Eric's party." (p 32)

It's these "Trading Places," questions that I feel are the most powerful. Putting yourself in someone else's shoes really helps others feel empathy and perhaps enables them to be brave enough to stand up and change destructive behaviors.

The overarching message of the book is to follow "the golden rule" and to treat others the way you'd like to be treated. In the author's final note, Ms. McLeod Humphrey states, "You don't have to be 'best friends' with everyone, but you can still treat everyone with respect and courtesy" (p. 121).

In the back of the book, you can also find bullying statistics, online resources, and an afterword that includes more information about bullying and action steps bystanders can take to help prevent it.

This book makes a perfect read aloud for teachers and students and parents and children, and is chock full of discussion opportunities that can make a huge difference and perhaps even save lives.

Award-winning Minnesota author, Sandra McLeod Humphrey, has created a must-have book for anyone addressing the issue of bullying in our schools.
Any parent that has a child in school, and any child IN school knows that bullying has grown to epidemic proportions in our society today. Ms. Humphrey took her expertise, gained as a retired clinical psychologist who worked with troubled children, and put it to great use in writing this book.

Prompted to write this book after hearing of a twelve-year old boy's suicide from being bullied, Sandra interviewed parents that shared their painful stories about their kids being bullied; and many teachers let Sandra interview the children themselves that were being bullied. She writes a compelling book about mythical Emerson Elementary School and a school full of students who aren't real students, but each a compilation of a typical student in any school anywhere in America that is facing the bullying issue.

The issues are real, and very heartbreaking to read. Ms. Humphrey makes this book an easy read for anyone needing to learn more about "what to do" when facing bullying issues. Each scenario is written in a chapter format, with thought-provoking questions at the end of each chapter, including a section she calls "Trading Places", which will put the reader in the position of the bully's victim, the bystander, or the bully him/herself. All I can say is: Where was this book when I was growing up? Surprisingly, every scenario on bullying that was discussed in this book is also a situation I have found myself in, even as an adult. Now I know what to do! Yay! This is a must-have book for everyone to use as a "manual" to cope with bullies everywhere!

Gayle Jacobson-Huset
Assistant Editor - Stories for Children Magazine

Humphrey continues with her series on childhood ethics and behavior with this easy-to-read offering. The author boldly tackles one of the most frightening subjects of today's adolescents since Columbine--bullying and its consequences. Humphrey follows the same format as her previous titles in the series, but with slight modifications that make it more appealing to an older reading audience. Vignettes are used to establish circumstances where moral and ethical dilemmas are raised. These are then followed by a number of questions that make the reader/listener to think about decisions and whether they are right or wrong inherently. This book, however, is more driven toward addressing decisions and behaviors that lead to, or in reaction to, bullying. The topics raised include Compassion, Empathy, Exploitation, and Social Manipulation. This is a book that teaches children though parables how and why they should avoid becoming bullies as well as how to react to the bullies they will undoubtedly meet. These lessons are presented well and make this book all too important in these times.

Karl L. Kruger for The American Author Association

Growing up is tough. You got peer pressure, the need to be accepted and fit in. You got the social strata at school, there's the cool group, the geeky group, the outsiders, the bullies, the kid who gets ridiculed, and you have the spectre of teen suicide, dealing with the fallout of the first relationship, being propositioned with drugs.

Inevitably, one gets their behavioral cues from others, who may not really be the best influences.

So, how does one negotiate one's way through this potential minefield without getting blown to smithereens.

Hot issues, cool choices explores all these potential dilemmas in the form of metaphors. They are well imagined, beautifully described, and quite entertaining. Inevitably, one will recognise the characters, and identify, and so I recommend this book, what would you do for example if the cool people wanted you to be in their group, but only because they are too lazy to do their own homework, and want you to do it for them, or they tell you who you can and cannot associate with.

As you get further into the book, it's easy to imagine a teacher using stories from this book in class, and what I particularly like about this book is that the author does not tell you what to think, merely inviting one to explore the dilemmas such situations present, and truly come up with one's own ideas of what to do.

It 's easy to imagine a group of kids or teens, having a laugh reading this book, and exploring the scenarios, then to find themselves making better decisions. The more options one has in how consider a situation the better the their response will be, and the wiser the action.

In that respect it's quite a brilliant book, and quite rightly it has gained kudos from many quarters, including winning a Mom's Choice Award. My wish for this this book is that it be available in everyschool, and read by every adolescent, an ambitious idea, yes, that's how important I think this book is. If that's not possible, at least if someone were to buy this book right now, that would be a good start.

I wonder if you found this helpful.

I'm responsible for teaching social skills, calming/ self-regulation skills, and problem-solving skills as a Recreational Therapist for children (ages 7 to 12).
I use a mix of therapeutic activities, teambuilding games, expressive arts, movies, and even the use of books to help these children to develop skills.

I feel that Dr. Sandra McLod Humphrey's book, "Hot Issues - Cool Choices: Facing bullies, peer pressure, popularity, and put-downs" is a wonderful way to teach social skills. Her book focuses primarily on the golden rule: treating others the way you'd like to be treated.

Dr. Humphrey tells short stories about fictional kids at a fictional school with real problems that children face. These problems focus on many great aspects such as: compassion for others, empathy, community service, physical aggression, acceptance of others, peer pressure, and more.

I feel like this book is a hidden gem, which I feel fortunate to have discovered.
Dr. Humphrey includes discussion questions at the end of each story to help get children to think about the lessons, which I really enjoy. They're great for group discussions.

As a Recreational Therapist, I include activities to go along with the stories. Here are some examples: I'll have the children put on a small role-play, which they play the characters from the stories or draw a picture about a time when the child experienced a similar situation.

Danny Pettry, MS, CTRS
Recreational Therapist
Author of Building Character With Sam, Izzy, & Many Other Dogs: 15 Tips That Help Children Build Character

The title says it all! Kids today have it tough. They are constantly faced with peer pressure, bullying, and harassment, yet so many of them do not know how to handle such situations. So here's what we have. Real stories with real social problems, but Sandra doesn't stop there. She writes in such a way that kids can understand and relate to these stories. The best part is that at the end of each story, Sandra offers excellent critical-thinking questions that kids can use to discuss not only the story, but give them a way in which to use it in their own lives. Excellent for raising self-esteem and establishing good social values. This is a perfect book for kids, parents and teachers to use as a solution to this never-ending problem.

As a teacher, I would highly recommend this book to kids ad parents, but especially to teachers to use within their classrooms, as so much of these situations do take place in the school environment.

BRAVA SANDRA!

To be perfectly honest, the very first thing I though after reading this book with my daughter was how VERY glad I am that I homeschool!! I really am grateful that my kids are able to learn without all the drama that can happen at school, but being homeschooled doesn't protect them from these issues completely. For that reason, I really appreciated the opportunity to read this book with my middle daughter.

What I loved most about the book is that at the end of every story there are a series of thought-provoking questions that relate to the story. It was very interesting and insightful to hear my daughters answers. For the most part I was not surprised by anything she said, but there were a few topics where her answers made me concerned for how she would deal with certain situations. It was nice to have a heads up on what areas I need to work with her on, and what areas she seems to have it all together.

The length of the stories are perfect for sitting down and reading a few at a time with your kids. My daughter is nine, and she seemed to relate very well to the stories. The reading level of the book was also very appropriate to her.

I would recommend this book to any parent who wants to find a way to open up a dialogue about social issues that may be affecting your kids!!! In my opinion that should be EVERY parent!!!

Sandra Humphrey addresses a decades old problem; one that has affected every child, parent, teacher or school counselor and administrator in some way. If only this had been recognized as the problem it is sooner maybe society would not have been so effected by long-term negative effects.

The 26 brief stories of students at Emerson Elementary give you a glimpse of both sides of bullying and peer pressure. Each situation that has been described by a fictitious student is then followed by a group of questions for discussion.

(See the book trailer [...])

Ms. Humphrey has shared a list of reference websites, a list of recommended website resources, citations of bullying statistics and a list of "cool" things you can do to help someone being bullied at the end of the book.

I worked within the school system and youth sporting activities both as a parent volunteer and as a classroom instructional aide for many years and saw first hand how damning this problem can be. I wish I'd had access to such simple information and suggestions as this then. A little guidance would have been helpful to both the child and myself.

The book ends with a quote by Dr. Martin Luther King, "The time is always right to do what is right". This simple thought repeated often enough might make a world of difference.

Sandra McLeod Humphrey has written a wonderful book,"Hot Issues Cool Choices: Facing Bullies, Peer Pressure, Popularity and Put-Downs," to help kids deal with the very serious and prevalent problem of bullying. Insightful, child-friendly and timely, this engaging book introduces the reader to more than two dozen students at fictional Emerson Elementary School who are struggling with various types of bullying, including ridicule, social manipulation, physical aggression, peer pressure, name-calling, exclusion and cyber harassment. The best part is at the end of each chapter where Humphrey asks the reader to help figure out what the character should do, and provides discussion questions designed to develop empathy, understanding and respect for others. This is a great book for teachers, students, parents, kids, therapists and young clients to read, talk about and role-play. It should be in school libraries, children's counseling centers and every office of therapists who work with the young (and not-so-young) victims and perpetrators of bullying. Thank you for providing a great tool to help kids who suffer every day at the hands of their bullying peers.

Do you have children in school?
How about grandkids in school?

Summer is here and a new year will be starting before you know it!

I encourage you to read: Hot Issues Cool Choices (Facing bullies, Peer Pressure, Popularity, and Put-Downs) this summer before this next school year comes around!
My kids are 16, 14, 9 and 7 and let me tell you I've heard my share of bully stories.
This book hit home with me!

Sandra McLeod Humphrey's book hits the nail on the head when it comes to issues with bullying in our schools. She is a retired clinical psychologist who brings real life experiences to the table.

Each 2-3 page chapter tells a different story, all with the same feel: bullying, fear, rejection, put-downs, and crumpled self-esteem by young children.
The beginning few chapters seem to be a bit more mild in nature.
Each chapter builds on the severity of bullying, or so it seems.
By the end of this book you want to just talk some sense into these bullies!!!

This is a very REAL subject. Children are taking their own lives due to bullying. This needs to be stopped and I think as parents we can all stand together and help educate our schools, the administrators, and our most importantly our children.
Kudos to Sandy for bringing this wonderful book to the public eye!